2024 Golden Grapefruits: Our Favorite Spring Training Clichés

Welcome, welcome, everyone to the second annual Golden Grapefruit Awards show. We’ve finally made it through another spring training, so let’s take a moment to look back at some memorable moments and hand out some spring training awards.

Every year, the same storylines tend to pop up, and fans consume them like animals. We had a great showing this year. Every predicted cliché had at least one qualifier, and many award winners shone magnificently, going above and beyond what the academy (Greggory and his cats) was looking for. Let’s get started!

Miguel Sanó Memorial "Best Shape of his Life" Award: Byron Buxton
We start our awards with a classic. Each year, someone in every camp shows up in what they or someone else can describe as “the best shape of his life.” Sometimes, several people show up in such a state. Some people show up in such a state several times.

There was no runaway winner this year, although Sanó himself showed up to Angels camp having lost 60 pounds and made the team out of spring training. It was tempting to give the award to him, but those days are past us.

Instead, the two candidates this year were Christian Vázquez, who allegedly lost eight pounds, and Byron Buxton, who showed up feeling younger than he had in years following plica surgery over the offseason. We’d all love to be in the shape we were in a few years ago, so this award will go to Buxton. Congrats Byron!

Previous winners: José Miranda (2023)

"Newest Pitch" Award: Joe Ryan 
There was a crowded field for this award, with at least four players showing up to camp with what could be called a “new pitch.” None of these pitchers may still be throwing their new pitches come September, but spring training is built on hope and optimism.

Early in spring training, several pitchers showed up with an additional offering or a tweak. Pablo López introduced a fifth pitch that many were calling a cutter to pair with his fastball, changeup, sweeper, and curveball. Chris Paddack also added a cutter, while Louie Varland and Joe Ryan were working on sinkers or two-seamers.

Frustratingly, it was unclear which of these pitches was the newest in camp, especially given that many of them were revamped versions of pitches they already threw, but then it happened. During the last weekend of camp, a new pitch popped up for Ryan, sitting around 90 with glove-side movement. He’s throwing a cutter, it would appear, and it was introduced days before Opening Day.

If that’s not the newest pitch, I don’t know what is. Congrats on your repeat win, Joe Cool!

Previous winners: Griffin Jax, Joe Ryan (2023)

"Most Revamped Swing" Award: Brooks Lee
Most years, this award would go to the player who spent the offseason working with a guru to fix a glaring hole in their swing, refine their mechanics, or build consistent timing. It’s often a little difficult to figure out who revamped their swing the most, as they’re always tinkering.

This season, Brooks Lee, the Twins’ second-ranked prospect, showed up to camp understanding his own shortcomings: he’s struggled to hit lefties as a right-hander. Switch-hitting isn’t valuable if you still can’t hit lefties.

His swings have never looked exactly the same, so this season, he has worked to make his righty swing match the lefty one better. Mr. Lee, good luck with the overhaul, and we’ll see you soon.

Previous winners: Max Kepler (2023)

"Weirdest Injury" Award: Pete Maki
Although not a cliché, it seems that every year there is an inexplicable injury that can only be chalked up to spring training. Recall 2021, when Byron Buxton missed a few weeks due to a root canal after chipping his tooth while eating steak.

Although Justin Topa hurting his knee covering the plate or Josh Staumont landing awkwardly in the bullpen are certainly odd ways to get injured, the award is going to pitching coach Pete Maki, who ruptured his bicep doing pullups. It's not every day a coach gets injured, so that’s definitely a weird one. Hopefully, he received our Get Well Soon balloon.

Previous winners: Jordan Balazovic

"Honey, Grab My Program" Award: Chris Williams
Spring training, especially early in the year and late in games, features a rotating cast of characters more extensive than The Simpsons'. Non-roster invitees, prospects, and career minor leaguers are each given their turns in the Florida sun. Every year, a few prospects get their number called more than others, consistently sending fans scrambling to look up who No. 89 is.

Only players who have never appeared in MLB and are not on the 40-man roster qualify for this award. Two candidates emerged: top prospect Brooks Lee, who led qualified players in at-bats (45); and Chris Williams, who was tied for the lead in games played (19) among all players in the organization.

Most people know who Lee is, so we’ll give the award to Williams, who had 24 at-bats in 19 games.

Previous winners: Andrew Bechtold (2023)

"First Cliché Statement" Award: Carlos Correa
This probably isn’t an upset. If you had to bet who would show up to spring training ready to fire off some clichés about loving the guys in the room and working hard, you'd have bet on Correa. Some might even say his ability to spout clichés is part of the reason he got his big contract.

Last season, he provided a lecture about the importance of keeping in shape, and pointed out that the players can party when they’re 40. [Ed. note: I turn 35 this weekend. No, they absolutely can not. At least not the same way.] This year, Correa took a more reserved approach, with comments including “I do keep up with the videos that I get sent and see how guys are progressing and doing and you know, I could really tell that everybody was hungry and putting in the work to show up you're better this year, which will make us a better team.”

Never change Carlos; we’ll see you next year.

Previous winners: Carlos Correa (2023)

"Grainiest Video" Award: Dan Hayes
Finally, my favorite award—the media can’t help themselves, and we, as fans, will eat up whatever they give us. When baseball’s back, we need proof. Grainy videos taken through a fence at the beginning of camp are a spring training staple.

Do-Hyoung Park won the award last year, but there have been rumblings that he has been chasing the award and intentionally taking poor videos (see below). We at the Golden Grapefruits disavow such behavior.

This a grainy enough photo of Joe Ryan and Max Kepler to be proper first day of Spring Training vibes? pic.twitter.com/VzAwJ2uSNK

— Do-Hyoung Park (@dohyoungpark) February 13, 2024

As such, Do has received a one-year suspension and will not be allowed to repeat as champion. Instead, the award goes to Dan Hayes, for his video of catchers racing in the outfield taken from the press box. He attempts to identify the players, as if any of us can tell.

Well done, Disco Danny.

Christian Vàzquez (second from right in red) gave his fellow catchers a strong race. #MNTwins pic.twitter.com/fGrXClHeFp

— DanHayesMLB (@DanHayesMLB) February 14, 2024

Previous winners: Do-Hyoung Park

That's our show. We were unable, again, to book any celebrities to present any of the awards. Maybe next year. We really should try actually asking them. We just figured they'd reach out. If you have John Mulaney's phone number, please drop it in the comments.