One thing you can be sure of, she’ll have the last word.
Of course, Taylor Swift has a long history of writing about her exes on her albums — or so we think — from John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal to Joe Jonas and Harry Styles.
But it’s Joe Alwyn, the British actor who the singer dated from 2016 to 2023, who is the object of the 34-year-old pop superstar’s wicked wordplay for a good — or for him, not so good — part of “The Tortured Poets Department,” which dropped on Friday.
There’s even one song called “So Long, London” — a goodbye to the city where they once lived together. And just to show you how deep those Swift Easter eggs can be hidden, that track is 9 minutes and 28 seconds — which happens to line up with when the exes are rumored to have started dating on Sept. 28, 2016.
Alwyn is also rumored to figure in the album title, which seemingly puts a snarky spin on the name of a group chat, “The Tortured Man Club,” that he had with his fellow actors Paul Mescal and Andrew Scott.
Alwyn and Mescal, 28, opened up about their group chat during a 2022 interview with Variety. It was founded by Scott, 47.
“[Scott is] just on it every day. He’s just on it by himself,” Mescal told the outlet, with Alwyn joking that the “Fleabag” actor is “just messaging himself good mornings.”
In an interview with GQ UK, Alwyn added that the chat name was “a reflection on Connell and Nick.” Alwyn played the character Nick on “Conversations With Friends,” while Mescal played Connell on “Normal People.” Both TV series were adaptations from books written by Irish author Sally Rooney.
Swifties made the connection when she announced her 11th studio album during her acceptance speech at the 66th Grammy Awards for best pop vocal album, which she won for “Midnights.”
“I want to say thank you to the fans by telling you a secret that I’ve been keeping from you for the last two years, which is that my brand new album comes out April 19th,” she said in February. She later posted the “TTPD” black and white album cover on her Instagram.
Here's what to know about Taylor Swift's new album 'The Tortured Poets Department':
- The 14-time Grammy winner released her highly anticipated 11th studio album “The Tortured Poets Department” on Friday.
- Swift sent her fans into a frenzy at 2 a.m. after revealing the record is a double album. Titled “The Anthology,” Swift’s late-night surprise includes 15 bonus tracks, bringing the total song count to a whopping 31.
- Swift initially unveiled her 16-song album at midnight, including collaborations with Post Malone and Florence Welch on two tracks. There are also four bonus tracks, “The Manuscript,” “The Bolter,” “The Albatross” and “The Black Dog” that are featured on various vinyl versions of the album. The four tracks, as well as 11 new songs, are included in “The Anthology.”
- A poem about heartbreak that serves as a prologue for the album was written by Fleetwood Mac alum Stevie Nicks.
- There are several celeb names peppered throughout the album’s lyrics. The mention of singer Charlie Puth’s name took some Swifties by surprise.
- While some of Swift’s exes aren’t spared on “TTPD,” the singer, 34, does seemingly reference her current beau Travis Kelce on the new album’s track “The Alchemy” in a loving way.
- As for her exes, 1975 frontman Matty Healy is reportedly referenced throughout the 31-song-strong record. In fact, Healy — who, before their summer split, was a rebound romance for the pop superstar following her breakup with British actor Joe Alwyn after six years — appears to be the subject of the vicious takedown “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” Other fans, however, may speculate the “sparkling summer” line is about Alwyn. There are also hints that “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)” — gotta love that title — might be about 35-year-old Healy.
- As for Alwyn, Swift dropped hints about the pair’s ill-fated six-year romance for a good — or for him, not so good — part of the album. Check out the 10 Alwyn-related references we’ve spotted.
- Read The Post’s review of “The Tortured Poets Department” here.
- Shop special-edition vinyls of Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department” at Target.
- Buy “The Tortured Poets Department” Ghosted White 2 LP special edition set now.
“And so I enter into evidence / My tarnished coat of arms / My muses, acquired like bruises / My talismans and charms / The tick, tick, tick of love bombs / My veins of pitch black ink,” she wrote at the time. “All’s fair in love and poetry … Sincerely, The Chairman of The Tortured Poets Department.”
Alwyn has never publicly spoken about their romance post-split. In happier times, he collaborated with Swift on several tracks under the alias “William Bowery.” He’s listed as contributing to “Exile” and “Betty” on Folklore as well as “Champagne Problems,” “Coney Island” and “Evermore” on Evermore.
“There’s been a lot of discussion about William Bowery and his identity ’cause it’s not a real person,” Swift said about the song “Exile” during her Disney+ film Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions, which premiered in November 2020. “William Bowery is Joe, as we know.”
Swift has previously penned several love tracks about Alwyn too, including “Delicate,” “Gorgeous” and “Call It What You Want” from 2017’s “Reputation” and “London Boy” and “Lover” off her 2019 album “Lover.”
Here are 10 times that Swift seemingly sinks her pen into Alwyn on “The Tortured Poets Department.”
“So Long, London”
“Just how low did you think I’d go/ Before I’d self implode.”
“Every breath feels like the rarest air/ When you’re not sure if he wants to be there.”
“Holding tight to your quiet resentment/ And my friends said it isn’t right to be scared/ Every day of a love affair.”
“And you say I abandoned the ship/ But I was going with it/ My white knuckle dying grip.”
“But Daddy I Love Him”
“No, you can’t come to the wedding/ I know he’s crazy, but he’s The One.”
“I’m having his baby.”
“Undo the destiny.”
“loml”
“You said I’m the love of your life/ You s – – t-talked me under the table/ Talking rings and talking cradles/ I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all.”
“The Manuscript”
“The only thing that’s left is the manuscript/ One last souvenir from my trip to your shores/ Now and then I re-read the manuscript/ But the story isn’t mine anymore.”
“Down Bad”
“F – – k it, I was in love/ So f – – k you if I can’t have us.”
