Success is measured not by wealth, but by how many baby animals you feed by hand in your lifetime.
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Jennifer Krukowski
@jenkrukowski
I invented post-its.
TorontoJoined June 2011
Jennifer Krukowski’s Tweets
Guys, it was Flavor-aid. Kool-aid PR has made that very clear. Stop making me feel like a pretentious dink and go educate yourself on the Jonestown situation so I can stop correcting you.
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Stop the apostrophe abuse, learn how to spell a non-possessive plural noun. #grammar
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My morbid fascination with anything only extends to arms’ length. And I did use that apostrophe correctly.
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Didn’t you know you had that much power? You can move mountains. You can do anything. - Bob Ross
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Olivia Benson, Dana Scully, or Clarice Starling? Choose one, I don’t care what for, I just want guidance better understanding my priorities.
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Why is it that the people who are willing to address someone as “y’all” seem to often be the same people who can’t comprehend “they” as a personal pronoun?
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I have mediamnesia. I’m a goldfish in that big bowl of Netflix. It’s a blessing in these times. Can never remember who the killer is, no matter how many times I’ve seen it. #Covid_19 #introvert #netflix #ssdgm
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Sadly and ironically, it takes a fatal social pandemic demanding social distancing for a lot of women to finally feel safe walking around in public. #COVID19 #personalspace
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If there’s one thing that introverts are totally confident about in public situations, it’s social distancing during a pandemic. #COVID19
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I’m not there yet, but I’m not where I was, and I’m not where I will be. That’s optimism. That’s ok.
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My apologies to the staff of who were stuck on the train with me while I watched the season finale of #TheMandalorian and pretty much spent the entire trip screaming until I passed out.
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I have no idea who Don Blueberry is and frankly I do not care.
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‘You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words.’ — delivered this searing condemnation to world leaders at the UN on the mounting climate crisis
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You heard it here first. Starting January 2020, patrons 25 and under can book a pair of tickets to every Soulpepper mainstage and concert production at no cost with our new #Free25Under program. soulpepper.ca/free25 #BreakingGround
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therapist: judi dench as a cat isn’t real she can’t hurt you
judi dench as a cat:
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BOO! We're back in action! Applications are now open for #FODS2020. This is a fantastic opportunity for Canadian women to submit #genrefilm project outlines, for a chance to win an incubator program including attending . More info here:bit.ly/FODS2020
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Sorry I missed your Fringe show.
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It passed!!! Whale and dolphin captivity is OUTLAWED in Canada! Thanks so much to everyone who worked on this!
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Beat the devil out of it
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Every time I’m feeling a little bit down, I remember I had a part in this.
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Replying to @MaraWilson
matilda turned an entire generation of girls into gay witchy nerds
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Colleen said if this gets 50,000 retweets we each get to tell one customer to shut up.
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“Addicting” is a verb. “Addictive” is an adjective. A verb is an action. An adjective is a description. Please. I’m begging you. #grammar
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Crazy town: more than half of our 10 year capital budget is allocated to rebuilding a highway in the sky that is used by 3% of morning commuters. Some cities are seeking to become green. Toronto is building a 1950’s boondoggle.
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City manager Chris Murray confirms that 53% of the 10-year state of good repair capital budget is for the Gardiner
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Any article that begins a paragraph with “You see,” immediately loses all credibility.
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The Wikipedia entry for the Teletubbies is actually a pretty good read if it’s 4am and you want to validate all your repressed anxieties about the millennium.
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Wow! This Black Woman Has Had Bad Experiences With White People But Never Roamed Streets Looking for One to Murder: ow.ly/CwlO50kGUMr
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Walking with a spring in my step and a cherry pie in my hands! On my way to record as a guest on episode 3 of the Dark Waters Twin Peaks logcast with insightful hosts Matt and Harrison. Can’t wait to share. ☕️
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Looking at college courses for forensic pathology. Both bummed and comforted to learn that you apparently need qualifications to enter this field of study. Turns out being suspicious of everyone and picking apart their personalities isn't enough. I'll keep freelancing for now.
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Bored? Put on solo piano music and do the dishes. Now you’re the star of a poignant indie movie about finally facing your fear of dishes and ultimately, death.
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We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents.
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This tweet was sent 36 months ago, which is the exact same prison term Michael Cohen was sentenced to just minutes ago.
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Just got my tickets for some wicked films at . You lucky people -- there are still some seats left! Canadians do horror like nobody else and this is one of the coolest fests in town. These are your people, Toronto! Grab tix before they sell out! #CanCon #HorrorMovies
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A stranger stopped his car while I was walking down the street last night and asked me if I needed help. I said no, but it got me thinking.
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