The Loveable Weirdness of Jeff Goldblum Is Exactly What The World Needs Right Now

Updated July 26, 2023 29.2K views

Jeff Goldblum is weird in the best way. Some part of that weirdness is no doubt a skill that he can turn off and on, but some of his strange mannerisms are so ingrained, it seems like he doesn’t even know he’s being a big beautiful weirdo. Thanks to late-night TV (and his new Disney+ docuseries, where he uncovers the history behind everything from tattoos to ice cream), we have a lot of great instances of Jeff Goldblum being weird. Weird Goldblum stories have been circulating since the '70s, and most of them come from the actor himself. As Goldblum has been known to say, he’s an open-faced sandwich. Time to learn the recipe.

The best thing about funny Jeff Goldblum stories is that most seem to occur naturally. Judging from the way he chats with interviewers and responds to fan questions, it doesn’t seem like he’s holed up in a Goldblum cave thinking of ways to freak people out. He's just a strange, spontaneous dude. You never know what Goldblum will do.

Through these Jeff Goldblum true stories you’ll learn what he gets up to at weddings, and what he thinks about the sandwich (hint: love is not a strong enough word for Goldblum and sandos). As idiosyncratic as Jeff Goldblum can be, so many great movies wouldn’t be the same without him. Long live the weirdness of Jeff Goldblum.

When He Partnered With NatGeo For 'The World According To Jeff Goldblum'
Photo: Disney Media Distribution
Premiering in 2019, The World of Jeff Goldblum is a 12-part docuseries that "taps into curiosity seeker Goldblum as he embarks on a journey across the globe to uncover the extraordinary stories behind the world's most 'ordinary' things."

"The series is the perfect platform for Jeff to use his uniquely infectious and approachable charm to take viewers on an unexpected and surprising journey," said Courteney Monroe, the CEO of National Geographic Global Networks.

So what exactly does Goldblum investigate? Let's just say a better way to phrase that is what does he NOT investigate.
When He Had His Own London Pop Up Statue
Video: YouTube
In July 2018, in celebration of the 25th anniversary of Jurassic Park, a massive Jeff Goldblum statue popped up in London next to the Tower Bridge. In the statue, Goldblum appears as Dr. Ian Malcolm in a scene from the much beloved film. The statue took social media by storm, with fans quick to flock to take pictures.
When He Gave Us the Gift of Laughter in Jurassic Park
Video: YouTube
Dr. Ian Malcolm, the sexy chaos theory scientist from Jurassic Park, might be the apex of Goldblumery. Not only does he spend a good portion of the film trying to get it on with Laura Dern, he also dropped the strangest laugh in the history of recorded sound right at the beginning of the movie. Thank god someone remixed it.
When He Admitted to Knowing Sleight of Hand Magic
Video: YouTube
On the July 4th, 2016 episode of WTF with Marc Maron, Jeff Goldblum told a story about having to learn some sleight of hand tricks for the Robert Altman film Nashville. Which is totally normal. Actors learn new things all the time for parts. The weird thing is that he still keeps up with the "rope tricks." He describes the trick in a very Goldblumish way, "A series of, here's the knot, there's not the knot. I've snuck them into other movies."
When He Played Piano for Rachel Ray
Video: YouTube
It's not weird Jeff Goldblum can play piano, of course he can play piano. The weird thing about this Rachel Ray clip is his turtle-neck-and-leather-jacket combo, and his constant narration. "Isn't that sweet?" No Jeff, you are.
If you're ever in Los Angeles, check out one of his regular jazz shows.
When He Told Everyone He Was an Edible Flower
Photo: Fox Searchlight
Would it surprise you to learn that Jeff Goldblum's Reddit AMA was a spectacular tapestry of sideways answers more suited to a fortune teller than an actor on a press run? When asked if he knew that a Goldblume was an edible flower he cheekily answered, "I had no idea! So am I! An edible kind of flower."
When He Admitted to Being a Sandwich Man
Photo: General Electric
Oh you guys, Jeff Goldblum is just the best. During his AMA, when he was asked about his favorite sandwich, he gave insight into his intense love for food.
"Oooooooooh. SANDWICH. OH MY GOSH. Oh my gosh. I love sandwiches. When I was a kid, every day I had a bacon lettuce tomato sandwich. Then at some point I switched to tuna fish sandwiches. Then turkey and swiss with russian dressing. Now I try to stay in the healthier vein, but I love every moment of my sandwich life."
When He Made Up a Karate Themed Backstory for a Character
Photo: Towpilot / Creative Commons
While being interviewed on the set of Independence Day 2, Goldblum was asked how he felt about his character being a pacifist and he immediately launched into an impromptu martial arts-laden story for David Levinson.
"When I was a kid, [his character's father] sent me—and I think it was new at that time—to martial arts training. I had an athletic and multifaceted capacity for that. And I became very, very, very good. Dangerous, even. I ascended very quickly, along with becoming a piano player and a techno kind of student and master in some ways, until one day something happened in school. A big bully, a troublesome guy, was giving a hard time to somebody. Something unexpectedly emotional and passionate rose up in me. And I put him in the hospital. He almost died." Is it too late for a Jeff Goldblum-starring Karate Kid reboot?
When He Marveled Over Email
Video: YouTube
Was anyone as excited about email as Jeff Goldblum in these iMac ads from the mid '90s? What do you think Goldblum's first email address was? Jurassic.Park.Stud@aol.com? Flyguy69@hotmail.com? Goldbloominonion@yahoo.com? The world may never know.
When He Sold Waitmate
Video: YouTube
Pretty much anything that Goldblum has done with Tim and Eric has been incredibly strange, but the first few moments of this faux commercial for a sleeping pill are some of the strangest ever committed to video.

When He Switched Jackets With Conan
Video: YouTube
At some point in the 21st century, Jeff Goldblum became a hipster dad (Andy Richter calls his look the "gentleman greaser") who wears leather jackets and probably has a Ramones tattoo. During an appearance on Conan O'Brien in 2016, the Blum and Coco traded jackets, and while the seasoned host does most of the heavy lifting in the segment, it's still strange to see Goldblum look like a somewhat normal human being for about ten seconds. Also, his delivery of the phrase, "That's why I call you snowflake" will haunt your dreams.
When He Starred in This GE Ad
Video: YouTube
Jeff Goldblum, seemingly making a beeline to the weirdest people he could find, appeared in an ad for GE's Link light bulbs, directed by Adult Swim wunderkinds Tim and Eric. You should watch it and choose the part that makes you feel the least comfortable, because the whole damn thing is so weird it's hard to single anything out.
When He Sang Lyrics to the Jurrassic Park Theme
Video: YouTube
Jeff Goldblum seems to be one of the only baby boomer stars who understands the power of the Internet to make or break a celebrity. He operates as if he has no understanding of the online world, while navigating it beautifully, and using his weirdo acting chops to give back to the Internet for maximum memeability. ))<>(( Good luck getting the new Jurassic Park theme song out of your head any time soon.
When He Read a Kid-Friendly Version of Independence Day
Video: YouTube
Right out of the box, Jeff Goldblum gives one of the strangest line reads ever with his awkwardly timed, "Hello...all," which leads off this short video of the actor reading a children's version of the 1996 blockbuster "documentary" Independence Day. Even though this just seems like a silly tie in to a sequel 20 years in the making, Goldblum's weird wit makes it high comedy.
When He Showed Off His Naked Work Out Routine
Video: YouTube
On the run up to Independence Day 2, Jeff Goldblum appeared on The Tonight Show, and gave Jimmy Fallon a peek into his workout routine that's sure to get butts in the seats. The "half thrust, half kegel" gives Goldblum the "crack" he needs to get up in the morning. Good luck getting that visual out of your head.
When His Therapist Officiated His Wedding
Video: YouTube
Some people love their therapists, but who invites their therapist to their wedding? Well, Jeff Goldblum isn't anyone, and he didn't just invite his therapist to his wedding, he had this therapist officiate. And it's not like his therapist has been officiating weddings herky jerky; Goldblum made her register to become an ordained minister. It's always nice to have something to fall back on.
When He Performed James Franco's Bris
Video: YouTube
James Franco's bar miztvah (celebrated at the age of 37) was a total train wreck. Not only did it feature Miley Cyrus emceeing while wearing a blue thong leotard, it had ya boy Jeff Goldblum appear as a rabbi who removed Franco's foreskin. Or maybe that was all a dream.
When He Showed Off His Gray Affair
Video: YouTube
Jeff Goldblum has been around for so long that he's appeared on every iteration of Conan O'Brien's show, and every appearance is soothingly odd in its own special way. But from the outset of this 2005 interview things get weird. Initially, the weirdest part of the interview were the faces the 'Blum made while he talked about his burps, but when the talk turns to suits, the conversation goes down a strange path about the actor's "gray affair" that wears during the summer.
When He Played Just a Friend
Video: YouTube
When you've got piano skills like Jeff Goldblum, you've got to show them off every chance you get. While appearing on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, the actor decided to play Biz Markie's "Just a Friend," and he sang it in a way that only Jeff Goldblum can.
Catch Jeff Goldblum In All His Glory On Disney+
Photo: Disney+
Ever wanted to see Jeff Goldblum dive into the wide world of professional gaming? Or better yet, watch him discover what Larping means? The first season of National Geographic’s The World According To Jeff Goldblum is now streaming on Disney+. From learning about the history of ice cream to discovering the secrets behind swimming pools (for real), get your Goldblum fix now.