James Marsden Says His 'Scary and Sad' Divorce Made Him 'Pull Everything Into Focus'

James Marsden has no problems getting a little emotional.

The Westworld actor, 44, appears on the June cover of Men’s Health where he gets real about love, life and fatherhood — and what it was like to go through his 2011 divorce from ex-wife Lisa Linde. Marsden admits that the split was “by far the hardest thing” he’s had to endure in his life until now.

“A lot of s— went well for me my whole life and came easy to me,” he admits. “Being a white male, you’re born with certain unearned privileges. My life hasn’t been filled with sorrow and deep struggle. When the divorce happened, it was the first time I felt I lost my equilibrium.”

He continues, “It was scary and sad and made me pull everything into focus. I needed to focus on what was important. So that’s who I am now because of that. I know regrets can be catalysts for good things.”

Marsden and Linde separated after 11 years of marriage and two kids — Jack, 17, and Mary James, 12. The actor admits the two were “really young” when they got together and eventually grew apart.

“It’s sad and heartbreaking,” he says. “I was separating not only from my wife but also my kids and the bonds of home and family. Those are things you’re painfully reminded of every day. It’s like, s—, what lesson is this? What’s to come from this?”

But the actor is still proud of one thing: his parenting skills. The actor also has a 5-year-old son, William Luca, with ex-girlfriend Rose Costa, born in December 2012. The actor was linked to Costa shortly after his marriage ended and welcomed their child a little over a year after Linde filed for divorce.

“Of all my achievements in life, being a father is the one thing I’m most proud of. It is the most fulfilling. I’m always self-deprecating, but I don’t have a problem saying that I am a great dad,” he says.

He’s currently dating British singer Edei.