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Classic "Fan-Based" DVD Movie

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Formato de medios ‏ : ‎ DVD
Tiempo de ejecución ‏ : ‎ 69 minutos
Actores ‏ : ‎ Tony McCoy, Tor Johnson, Bela Lugosi
ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00YOJLFR0
Número de discos ‏ : ‎ 1

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4.2 98 calificaciones

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4.2 de 5

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Celia Trimboli

Horrors of Spider Island (Severin Blu-Ray)

Reseñado en los Estados Unidos el 19 de junio de 2022

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So bad it's good 60s German-made, English-dubbed horror flick. A gaggle of dancers, their employer and his girlfriend/secretary, on their way to a gig in Singapore crashland in the Pacific and end up on a deserted island. There they find a dead scientist caught in a giant web. They bury him and make the best of their situation while cavorting around in skimpy outfits. The man runs afoul of the large mutant spider that did in the old man and becomes a combination bug-eyed werewolf/vampire. He spends his time skulking about and stalking the women. Then two men who are picking up the old man rescue the women, who start catfights, and the spider man really gets in gear. The Severin Blu-Ray is better than the Something Weird Special Edition DVD, but the picture is still kind of dark and murky at times. Still I recommend this version.

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Mr. Jonathon T. Beckett

No Horror, just Hilarity

Revisado en el Reino Unido el 26 de noviembre de 2009

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New York. After a long winded audition at the office of Chairman Mao, Nighclub Manager Gary Webster( Alexander D'Arcy) picks the girls he wants for his dance troupe in Singapore. However, as they travel on the plane they crash into the sea. Gary, girlfriend(?) Georgia and our dancers survive. After some time, they come across an island. They make it ashore and come across a cabin. Inside is the horrifying sight of a man dead hanging on a huge spider web.
It's very hot on the island, so everybody strips off to their bra and panties, even Gary(but not wearing womens underwear). The heat enflames everybodies passions, Gary cops off with one of the dancers, Georgia is furious, and Gary runs off into the undergrowth. Soon the girls in the cabin hear a terrible scream. Where is Gary? Is he alive? Will they ever make it off the island? Will the viewer make it through the film?
Coming across like the long lost cousin of 'Mesa Of Lost Women' this film is the English dubbed version of an old German nudie film Ein Toter hing im Netz( The Dead Man Hangs In The Web), minus the nudity. It really should be had under the Trade Description Act. 'Swimwear on Spider Island' yes indeed, 'Don't Get Bitten In Your Bra' maybe, but 'The Horrors Of Spider Island' well, no not really. Very little horror to be found here. It is however, great fun with catfights, squabbling, intrigue and dancing aplenty. Oh, there are a couple of spiders hanging around as well. Just don't expect much horror.
As for the acting, well its hard to judge, but one of the dubbed characters changes her accent three times during the film. The best character is bad Babs, who turns out good in the end.
Its in the bottom 100 films on Internet Movie Database. A bit unfair I think, as its a laugh riot, and very enjoyable viewing for lovers of bad cinema. The Alpha DVD release has no end credits to the film, but that may well be the most complete sanitised version available. 4 out of 5. Oh, its Region 0 as well, not Region 1 as stated by some sellers

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Bill W. Dalton

Spider Island Is Hot, But No Paradise!

Reseñado en los Estados Unidos el 16 de noviembre de 2001

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I first saw this movie on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and they
gave it their usual hilarious treatment, but even when viewed on its
own it's still pretty hilarious. Alexander D'Arcy (Blood of
Dracula's Castle) stars as the hapless hero, Gary, the manager of a
girls' dance troupe. Barbara Valentin, in her screen debut, stars as
Babs, the pouty-faced sexpot on the make for him. Both D'Arcy
and Valentin had long careers in European films and TV, but the
rest of the cast in Spider Island seem to have disappeared along
with this movie.
And no wonder. The acting is bad, the dubbed-in dialog is dumb,
the plot is ludicrous, the editing is poor, the special effects are
awful, the direction is amateurish, and it's not even in color. So
it's definitely one of those so-bad-it's-funny movies. For instance,
when the planes takes off for the tour it's a twin-engine plane, but
when shown in flight, it's a four-engine plane. And when Gary
finds a sledgehammer on the island he says, "A hammer...with a
long handle!" And surmises that someone has been mining
uranium on the island! Wouldn't anybody? (And how does one
mine for uranium with a hammer, anyway?) And check out the
face on that spider! Incredible! And when Gary is bitten by the
crab-like spider he transforms immediately into a monster that
looks more like a werewolf than a spider. (Why didn't the
professor turn into a monster when the spider got him?) After
Linda is killed by monster Gary he's seen running into the woods
and in the next scene one of the girls mentions that they've now
been on the island for 28 days. 28 days on a small island with a
murderous monster running around loose, and nothing at all has
happened in that time? And so on...
Star D'Arcy (a veteran of Hollywood earlier in his career) said in
an interview that he actually rewrote the script and directed the
movie. If true, then we have him to blame for this mess. He said
director Fritz Böttger was incompetent and that the actresses were
"second class." He may be right about the direction. The movie
plays as if there were two, or even more, people directing it, each
working against the other. But the actresses were not second class,
at least not in their natural endowments. The bevy of big-breasted
babes are the best thing about this movie.

This DVD edition features a short subject starring Joi Lansing
(The Atomic Submarine) in a musical video called "Web of Love"
which is more interesting for her abundant cleavage than for her
singing voice. Mary Blair (who is she?) does a burlesque-style
striptease in a second short subject called "Spider Girl," interesting
only for its seeming antiquity. And there's a more modern
striptease number, also with a spider web theme. The montage of
lurid schlock movie posters with voice-over radio spot ads is very
amusing, as well. And there are some prevues of other Something
Weird movies available. The snap case has two pages of
interesting liner notes and chapter index. The image quality and
sound are good, so all in all, this is a pretty good DVD value, if
you're a fan, like me, of really bad sci-fi/horror movies.

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Jobla

Fine Blu-ray release of uncensored version by Severin Films

Reseñado en los Estados Unidos el 5 de marzo de 2022

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Severin Films has releasesd Blu-ray and DVD versions of this cheezy German schlockfest from the mid-1960s. I think it's the best this film has looked on home video. Let's be honest, this was a low-budget German shocker from the mid 1960s, and will never look like CITIZEN KANE or THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES. Severin found the rare "Continental" (in othe words, topless) scenes from the French release version and presents them in the US for the first time. While the film is never a thrill a minute, it is a prime example of 1960s exploitation cinema, with manly he-men, sexy European women, and a monster or two for good measure.

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B. Wells

Paging Russ Meyer

Reseñado en los Estados Unidos el 22 de julio de 2020

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What to say about "Horrors of Spider Island"? It's really hard to know where to begin. Okay, not really. It's bad, oh, so bad. And not the fun kind of bad, either: "Horrors of Spider Island" stinks to high heaven. I have several other Severin Film releases of obscure, sci-fi/horror films and all have been redeemed, at least to some degree, by a certain amount of professional restoration. The "restoration" on this Severin release looks like somebody took the negative down to the gas station, blew off the dust with an air hose and called it good. Which it is emphatically not. Presented in both the uncensored version and "clothed" version, "Horrors of Spider Island" still looks like the low-rent production it is, and not noticeably better than any of the numerous public domain versions available online. If you're familiar with Severin Films, you'll know that their blu-ray releases aren't cheap--this little gem was on the other side of $30. The resolution in the night scenes is still terrible, which is puzzling considering that most of the night scenes were filmed outside during the day. Much of it just looks washed-out.

The plot is almost beside the point. It's pseudo softcore-porn dressed up as a monster movie but it fails on both counts. Alexander D'Arcy (who I was shocked to discover made some decent films in his day) plays Gary, a horned-up entertainment manager escorting a planeload of "American dancers" (i.e., German strippers) to Singapore for a dance extravaganza he's cast. But before they board the plane, we have to endure a seemingly interminable audition sequence that is so scatty it gives me a headache to think about. There's really no rhyme nor reason as to why some dancers are chosen and others aren't--they all seem to have about the same level of talent (ahem)--although bust size seems to have played no small role in the decision-making process. Once Gary and his assistant, Georgia, are done ogling the ladies, they're off and running as they jet hither and yon--who came up with this flight plan anyway?--before taking a nosedive into an ocean that seemed, at first, to be the Atlantic but turned out to be the Pacific. I think. At any rate, the cast survives the crash with nary a scratch. Discovering the titular island, the group stumbles across a cabin containing a dead man hanging in a giant spider web. After some initial screaming and fainting, the group resets their attitudes to tropical vacay mode; accordingly, the dead man is quickly cut down from the web, tossed out the door and promptly forgotten. Once everyone has settled into the cabin and chucked most of their wardrobes, Gary, being the only man on the island, suddenly becomes very popular. Jealousies are aroused, bitching and moaning ensues and catfights break out. Gary decides to take a walk in the jungle. Sure enough, the spidery Muppet that hung the old guy in the web is lurking in a tree, just waiting for some poor schmuck like Gary to come along and lean back against the trunk. Instead of dying from the spider bite, Gary turns into a Spider Man, though not, alas, Spiderman, which would have taken this film into an entirely (and perhaps more interesting) direction. On the plus side, Gary looks more like the half-brother of Lon Chaney Jr.'s Wolf Man than a spider, but after he makes his first kill, he disappears completely from much of the rest of the film. Despite the murderous goings-on, the strip--er, dancers--remember that they need to get naked and frolic on the beach in order to try and draw attention from any passing ships. Okay, yes, a couple of them do eventually manage to light a fire and send smoke signals, too. Indeed, they attract the attention of a couple of hot-and-bothered studly assistants to the dead guy, who turns out to have been a scientist. With the arrival of the two men, there's more nudity and rolling around on the ground (nothing remotely titillating or pornish, though) and a lot of really bad dancing. Will these women survive the night so they can be rescued by the men's ship in the morning? Will I survive this stupid, insipid movie? Instead of being wary of the murderous beast lurking in the shadows, the group decides to throw a party to celebrate their last night on the island. Lots of drinking, more boring nudity, and even more bad dancing occurs: this party scene just went on and on until I almost threw a shoe at the screen. Finally, Gary shows up and kills one of the horndogs and his new girlfriend, and then the movie wraps up pretty quickly after that.

The acting is pretty much atrocious across the board. Alexander D'Arcy probably wasn't eager to list this on his resume, though shockingly, he'd been acting in films as far back as the 1920's. Harald Maresch, as the nominal hero of the piece, had also been acting for decades but here, he's something of a lunk. And Helga Franck, playing Georgia, Gary's aide/girlfriend, is very pretty but also pretty numb. The only real standout in the film is the generously-endowed Barbara Valentin, once known as the "German Jayne Mansfield" and, later, a collaborator of director, Rainer Werner Fassbinder (as well as a roommate of Freddie Mercury). What? There was obviously some inherent talent in these, and a few other, cast members but it certainly failed to materialize in "Horrors of Spider Island". Director Fritz Bottger had a lengthy career as an actor and writer, but "Spider Island" was only his second and last effort at directing. Unfortunately, that's understandable after seeing this mess. While watching the movie, I couldn't help wondering what Russ Meyer would have done with this material. No doubt, it would have been more memorable and much more entertaining.

Having been in self-imposed exile for many months during this Coronavirus pandemic, I have had the opportunity to see a number of films, some of them truly terrible. But this one, "Horrors of Spider Island" and the crummy Severin blu-ray release may take the cake. If it isn't the worst movie I've seen in my life--and that is still up in the air--it is certainly in the bottom 5. A serious waste of $30+, not to mention an hour and a half of my life I'll never get back. If, for some inexplicable reason, you find yourself tempted to watch this travesty, check it out on online before splurging for the blu-ray. Better yet, do yourself a favor, and buy one of Russ Meyer's films available on amazon, instead.

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Horrors of Spider Island (1960) Classic Sci-fi and Horror Movie DVD-R

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