My friend (20F) ghosted me (20M) after I asked her if I can make a phone call to her after, a month of not talking, was I in the wrong? : r/relationship_advice Skip to main content

Get the Reddit app

Scan this QR code to download the app now
Or check it out in the app stores
r/relationship_advice icon
r/relationship_advice icon
Go to relationship_advice
r/relationship_advice
A banner for the subreddit

Need help with your relationship? Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help!


Members Online

My friend (20F) ghosted me (20M) after I asked her if I can make a phone call to her after, a month of not talking, was I in the wrong?

I am not sure if this is the right sub for this situation as I don't think this fits well at other subs but after some thinking it may fit better in here.

This has happened 2 months ago, I have already talked to one of my closest friend who is a girl that's one year older than me (21F) for opinions but she was incredibly supportive so her opinions are going to make me feel better. But I need a more neutral parth opinions on this matter.

For context, I am not from any country that is considered western for there would be cultural differences but it did took place in one.

The friend in question, I will keep her anonymous. I will call her Y.

Some backstory. I met Y back at 2023, somewhere around March or April. At a uni we both were attending. We both are foreign students who came from the same country but different cities. At first, it was slow. We occasionally chat via text, most of it are just mundane stuff about uni life and talked about the cultural differences between our country and the current country we are in for uni.

After a while, she asked me to go out with her to get some lunch and maybe do a little shopping afterwards. I quickly accepted the invite to get a little closer to her to form a more solid friendship. After a 3 months of knowing ber, I consider her a close friend.

But as the year progressed, I have developed some feelings for her. So, I just kept it for myself. And during this time Y and I started hanging out more and she even initiated gift exchange so I quickly returned the favour. As the months go by, I developed more and more stronger feelings for her. It felt like she was the one. Though this has also placed down doubt wether she will reciprocate or not. But I need to tell Y eventually right.

So, somewhere at Nov 2023 I decided to shit my shot. I told her my feelings via text. She obviously rejected me and say we can remain friends. I was obviously butthurt by that response but I accepted her offer to maintain the friendship because I considered her as a close friend in this foreign country and plus I have plenty of friends that are girls so I thought why not this could develop into a good friendship with the crush on her just a road bump. So, I started to move on. And obviously moving on take a long time.

So we act like nothing had happened that day and move on. However after a week of me confessing, we text are less frequent and we barely hangout.

However, earlier this year at the start of the new year, she told me that she is no longer studying at the uni that we attend and she is transferring and studying at a different uni at the home country. So, I just gave her some words of encouragement and casually told her that I will miss her and told her good luck.

Now because what I told her, Y asked me a question about wether or not I still have feelings for her or not. So, I honestly responded that I do harbour some feelings for her. I told her the truth not because I wanted her get with her, it is because I have to be transparent about this to her. Then, Y texted me saying that my feelings will slowly go away.

Then, I responded with yeah, and I will see you as just a friend again, then she told me to do well for my studies and hope I have a good school break. I responded in kind. And we didn't talked for a month afterwards because we were back in our home countries spending time with family and friends.

So, now speed through, a few months ago I saw on Y's Instagram that she and her bff (F unknown age) were in my hometown. So, I quickly texted her and welcomed her to the city because I want her to have a good start of her trip. But didn't do anything to arrange a meet up with her, plus that would be rude as she probably has plans already I assume. Plus, I was busy doing last minute things related to bureaucracy and finance before i go back to the country where I study.

However I didn't text her on anything for another week or two as I was busy, after I finally got some time to myself, Y has already finished her travels. So, I texted her if that she wants catch up and if she wants we can even do a phone call because it's has been a while. No response, left on read. I thought to myself it was unusual behaviour I will wait for tomorrow and ask to if she is willing to talk the next day. So, I did exactly that and she is available or not in a polite manner. This time she didn't left me on read but blocked me from all platforms except on insta but she did restrict my account.

So, I assumed I did something wrong because why would Y blocked me so I drafted an apology and send into her insta DM hope she saw it and a week later I checked she unfollow me from her account. And it was a private account so essentially a block.

So, Reddit what did I do wrong?

Share
Sort by:
Best
Open comment sort options
u/AutoModerator avatar
Moderator Announcement Read More »