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Fil Anderson

Breaking the Rules: Trading Performance for Intimacy with God Hardcover – February 9, 2010

by Fil Anderson (Author), Brennan Manning (Foreword)

4.1 32 ratings

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After years of living with a set of religious demands that he could never live up to, Fil Anderson found himself spiritually bankrupt and emotionally drained. Following a crash-and-burn in professional ministry, he experienced relief in learning to be with God rather than doing for God. Instead of desperation, he found healing, and a rich new life with God. In Breaking the Rules, Fil invites us to explore what happens when good religion turns bad. At such times we are weighed down with expectations of what it takes to be "right with God"--whether it is the expectations of others, holding up under pressure, fixing what's wrong or accomplishing big things for God. When we set aside this false agenda, we find the courage to confess our fears and insecurities. We taste the depths of God's love for us. Here is an opportunity to quit trusting in your own ability to live for God, and simply trust in God instead.

Print length

240 pages
Language

English
Publisher

IVP Books
Publication date

February 9, 2010
Dimensions

5.5 x 1 x 8.25 inches
ISBN-10

0830835377
ISBN-13

978-0830835379
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Who Are We?

Since 1947, InterVarsity Press (IVP) has been publishing thoughtful Christian books that shape both the lives of readers and the cultures they inhabit. Throughout these seventy-five years, our books and authors have established a legacy of speaking boldly into important cultural moments, providing timeless tools for spiritual growth, and equipping Christians for a vibrant life of faith.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Breaking the Rules captures the essence of what makes Christianity impossible--and how a wild, unpredictable but authentic relationship with Jesus is the only cure for what ails us. Bracingly honest, these pages will haunt you in the best way possible. I recommend you read them slowly . . . and savor." (Paula Rinehart, author of Strong Women, Soft Hearts)

"Breaking the Rules will be like a defibrillator on many hearts which are more dead than alive and restorative to many souls that are lost in the maze of religion rather than in a life-giving relationship with a loving God. Fil Anderson has extended an invitation to live outside the box of religion. I hope you will accept it. If you are more 'churched' than transformed, then this book is for you!" (Stephen W. Smith, author of The Lazarus Life and The Transformation of a Man's Heart)

"With precision, patience and vulnerability Fil beckons us to let go of the life-crushing burdens of religion in exchange for the freedom of God's reckless love." (Nathan Foster, author of Wisdom Chaser)

"Finally, relief for tired and weary souls. Fil leads leaders to an intimacy with Jesus that does not require unbending rule-keeping. Written with honesty and compassion, readers can identify with Fil's own struggles and have reason to hope they too can plunge into the depths of God's love for us. If you are ready to experience intimacy, freedom and grace, this is the book for you." (Tom Wilson, president and CEO, OneHundredX, Leadership Network and Halftime)

"Few words are as misused today as intimacy. Break it down and to most people it means 'into me I see.' Fil Anderson shows us not only how the word really breaks down--'you're invited into a relational encounter with God'--he also shows us how to embrace the one thing our hearts desire most." (Leonard Sweet, author of So Beautiful: Divine Designs for Life and the Church)

"By unveiling the authentic Jesus--One more true to the biblical witness than the religious rule-abiding killjoy whom too many of our churches have inadvertently endorsed--Fil Anderson opens readers' eyes to the unbridled goodness of the God who knows us and loves us exactly as we are. Anderson's message is irresistible!" (Margot Starbuck, author of The Girl in the Orange Dress)

"Breaking the Rules heralds the shattering truth that the transcendent God who became visible in Jesus Christ furiously longs for intimacy with us. It assures worn out and weary religious strivers that their life can be recovered. . . . If you plan on reading just one book this year on Jesus, this is the book that you must read." (From the foreword by Brennan Manning, author of The Ragamuffin Gospel)

About the Author

Fil Anderson is a spiritual director, conference speaker, writer and retreat leader trained through the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation. He is the founder of Journey Resources and author of Running on Empty: Contemplative Spirituality for Overachievers (WaterBrook). He also contributed to Transformation of a Man's Heart: Reflections on the Masculine Journey (IVP). Educated at the University of North Carolina in Wilmington and Fuller Theological Seminary, Fil served on the staff of Young Life for twenty-five years. Fil and his wife live in Greensboro. They are the parents of three adult children. For more information and to contact Fil, please visit Journey Resources.

Manning is the author of A Glimpse of Jesus (HarperSanFrancisco, 2003).

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ IVP Books; First Edition (February 9, 2010)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0830835377
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0830835379
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 1 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #828,271 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #2,926 in Christian Family & Relationships
- #15,625 in Christian Spiritual Growth (Books)

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4.1 32 ratings

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Fil Anderson

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Fil Anderson is executive director of Journey Resources, based in Greensboro, North Carolina. He’s a frequent conference speaker, spiritual director, and directs retreats and workshops nationally and internationally. A member of the pastoral staff of St. Mark’s Church, he provides on-site soul care to their staff and volunteers. Fil is also a member of the Board of Trustees at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology.

He is the author of Running on Empty: Contemplative Spirituality for Overachievers (Waterbrook) and Breaking the Rules: Trading Performance for Intimacy with God (InterVarsity). He also contributed to Transformation of a Man’s Heart: Reflections on the Masculine Journey (InverVarsity). He co-authored Blind Spots: What You Don’t See Can Hurt You, due for release May 2019.

A graduate of the University of North Carolina at Wilmington and Fuller Theological Seminary, he also completed the Graduate Program in Christian Spiritual Guidance at the Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation and completed the Enneagram Spectrum of Personality Styles Training and Certification Program. Fil worked with Young Life for twenty-five years, serving as area director and regional director before becoming national director of training.

He and his wife, Lucie, live in Greensboro, have three adult children and two granddaughters. Avid beach lovers, they frequent Wrightsville Beach, NC as often as possible.

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Babs

Refreshing

Reviewed in the United States on August 23, 2022

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I think what God showed me through this was that you can have all the right doctrine and beliefs and still miss Jesus. I found it to be refreshment for the parched soul.

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Tremendous perspectives on discovering intimacy with Jesus

Reviewed in the United States on October 24, 2017

Verified Purchase

This is a tremendous book. Fil shares his spiritual story and how he came to realise that all his striving and service was out of religiosity rather than a deep connection with Jesus. He shares how he came 'to see the light' and through drawing closer to Jesus he has come to discover fresh wonder in the Word and intimacy with His maker.

As some reviewers have said there is repetition and the book could perhaps have been shorter but I liked how Fil used different perspectives to bring us back to the same point: Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. Religion is based on something we must do. I particularly appreciated his perspectives on Mary of Bethany and how her wastefulness has indeed been talked about in the generations since. And the final chapter where Fil demonstrates how Jesus came to turn religion upside down and out of the temple in his reflections on Jesus at the wedding at Cana.

I often read books like this and go okay I get it but how do I get there? How do I get that union, that intimacy with Jesus? I didn't think Fil would give us anything on this but then in the last few pages he does and I like what he had to say. You'll need to read it to find out.

This is a great addition to the "intimacy books" and I recommend it highly.

2 people found this helpful

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P. Hilliard

Church Bashing

Reviewed in the United States on April 12, 2010

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In view of comments from other reader's of this book, I am definitely in the minority. Nevertheless, I never get much from an author who chooses a highly visible target (the church) and then denegrates it with such wide strokes that no one is left unscathed. He knows (as we all do) that there are millions who have had similar experiences in the church and are thus lured to purchase the book. But is it the author's objective to offer healing by curative suggestions or simply to commiserate in print with his fellow disenchanted?
The church is far from perfect. And why should it be; it is made up of people like me who themselves are far from perfect. So anyone who has spent much time in a church at a participatory level will be aware of this . Even Peter, the "rock" on which Jesus built his church, was little more than a work in progress. And Paul soon became aware that serving his churches with patience and forgiveness would be a never-ending job.
And yet the church was born, survived, and managed to grow despite too many imperfections, failures and disasters to mention here. And what we have today is no more than the imperfect offspring of imperfect church parents, but one that gives untold billions of person-hours as well as dollars to hurting people all over the world. I wonder if its detractors can say that.
Unfortunately, I see this book as no more than a step away from the feel-good spirituallity of writers like Marianne Williamson and Deepak Chopra. Being a Christian, I find little there to which I can cling once I put their books down, for "feelings" are notoriously short-lived. In other words, feeling one's faith should lead to doing one's faith outside of one's self. And to reach out will always entail the danger of making mistakes. But without accepting that risk, we have done nothing for anyone but ourselves.

10 people found this helpful

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Marc Baldwin

you can't do anything to earn God's love. I totally agree and it is a comforting ...

Reviewed in the United States on April 5, 2015

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I wasn't crazy about this book, but only because it could have been about 20 pages long. He expressed the same concept over and over about 150 ways.

This isn't a new idea; you can't do anything to earn God's love. I totally agree and it is a comforting concept to take to heart. The author encourages us to lay it all out, open up our darkest secrets, and embrace the REAL us, because that's who God loves. But the book stops short - like all the other books I've seen on this idea - in that it doesn't address what happens after you do that, and how you deal with the havoc that may play on your personal relationships. It's easy to say, "Yeah, I should do that." It's another thing to actually do it when you begin to consider how the "real" you, embracing the darkness of your past, may irreversibly change personal relationships.

I'm wearing out on books like this, because I'm still waiting for someone to address the "what then?" aspect. This particular book looks exactly like a lot of others that I've read.

2 people found this helpful

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David Carter

It's free of charge and only requires accepting His offer - allow Him to love ME. It's ONLY about a personal

Reviewed in the United States on May 14, 2016

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After reading this book, I began to realize that my attempts to religiously "do the right things" to gain heaven were all in vain. It's what 'religion' teaches. What REALLY stamps my ticket to heaven has already been accomplished. Nothing I can do to gain it - or lose it!!! It's free of charge and only requires accepting His offer - allow Him to love ME. It's ONLY about a personal, daily, communication with God, Christ, and the amazing Holy Spirit. That's all He requires.
Get this book of you're searching for something more than any "religion" can offer.

Reviewed in the United States on May 21, 2011

Verified Purchase

Fil Anderson's ideas are not particularly new as they reflect a great deal of what Brennan Manning has written before. What is revolutionary about "Breaking the Rules", is that it is very
down to earth and expressed in much more simple language than Manning. It is a plain spoken call to rethink everything that religion has mistaught us and return to the basics of what Jesus taught; to break the bonds that so many churches have used to keep us dutiful to their agenda. Fil Anderson calls us to accept the simple, complete love of God and live in a relationship with Him.

4 people found this helpful

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Cammie Howard

Loved it!!

Reviewed in the United States on March 14, 2010

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Once I started reading this book, I could not put it down. I felt like I was having coffee with a good friend as I read the words on the pages. The transparency with which he wrote challenged me to take off my masks and be more real with God and others. This book is a must read for those who are tired of superficial, plastic Christianity and want to go deeper into the life God offers us. Thank you, Fil,for the inspiration you provide!

8 people found this helpful

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