Give a 24 year old life advice people. Older women preferred but all is welcomed | Lipstick Alley

Give a 24 year old life advice people. Older women preferred but all is welcomed

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HEYYYYY I’m finally able to post on here

so I’m 24 and a recent grad. During covid I was dating I met 2 good men. Unfortunately one man( he is Jamaican he is super ambitious and he is really working towards his dreams at a rapid pace) end up losing interest ( I was clingly asf cause I wanted this man so bad) but we remained fwb because I really liked him and wanted him to be the one (lowkey I still do) but now I’m starting to get over him and realize my worth again, cause like the saying go don’t let a man show he doesn’t want you more than once( he showed me multiple times). The second one is from Ghana who is kinda successful in the MLS he likes me but he doesn’t want a serious relationship right now. He doesn’t even take me dates he brings me lame ass food from his practice. He is so forceful when it comes to sex which turns me off (but he is pretty good at it) He thought taking me to a sub shop and ordering to go was a date. At least the Jamaican man buy me food sometimes and drives us places, and sling great ding dong, me and him actually hangout a lot but most of the time it’s me who ask to hangout, which is starting to get annoying...
I’m not really sure what I’m trying to ask because I didn’t know once I got out of college dating was going to this hard. Y’all I really thought I was going to be rich with a rich fine ass black man by my side...the universe said “SIKKKEEE BIH TRY AGAIN” I do want a man I’m tired of being a fwb to a man who doesn’t want me anymore. Idk what to do. I’m sick of dating apps, I’m taking a break from all social media. That’s actually why I joined LSA cause y’all be funny asf.

But anyway Is it crazy that I just want a rich black man bust through my apartment doors and ask me to be his girl and wisp me off to Island getaway and gift me a lambo. Any older women got any advice for me. I love advice. Thank you bby.
 
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Stop being a fwb. Period.

Leave these men alone immediately. They are not interested in dating you, much less a relationship.

If you want to be taken on a date and a man is not doing it, drop him. Immediately.

When a man wants to be in a relationship with you, he will be.
 
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Try celibacy for a year, maybe two and stay off of social media.

With all of that spare time, work on being the female equivalent of the type of man you want to marry.
 
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Girl I’m not an older font but you need to see yourself as the prize.

you’re not holding these men to a high standard (based on the fwb situation and continuing to entertain the cheap ass Ghanaian guy)

girl...they need to be trying to impress you.

you can get a rich black man but the way you’re going, he’s gonna act like he’s doing you a favor

Im working at this as well, so please don’t think im talking down on you. But HYPE YOURSELF and don’t be afraid to lose them with your requirements

an older woman told me to carry myself like the shit and people will believe it. You and all the men in your life need to start to believe it
 
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Focus on advancing your career and leave these men
End thread, basically.

You can date, have fun, thot about a bit (with protection and common sense!) and generally enjoy yourself, but always remember that you are your greatest asset and any effort you put into yourself will never be wasted. Effort placed on men? 9 times out of 10, it ain't worth it.

Anyway, if you find that mythical rich man (which you are more likely to find while you're out in the world doing you and supporting yourself well) you will know that you always got you and will never need to deal with any nonsense just because he pays your way through life. Beyond money, you never want to be in a place where you feel someone is filling a deficit within you.
 
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Don't rush through life, you'll miss the most important and beautiful moments. Just take your time and remember that life is precious and and it's not a race.

Believe when someone shows you who they are the first time, and then act accordingly.

Always go with your gut!!!

Nothing won't keep a man who doesn't want to be kept.


It's okay to date around (without having sex). Expand your horizons with different races of men.
 
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HEYYYYY I’m finally able to post on here

so I’m 24 and a recent grad. During covid I was dating I met 2 good men. Unfortunately one man( he is Jamaican he is super ambitious and he is really working towards his dreams at a rapid pace) end up losing interest ( I was clingly asf cause I wanted this man so bad) but we remained fwb because I really liked him and wanted him to be the one (lowkey I still do) but now I’m starting to get over him and realize my worth again, cause like the saying go don’t let a man show he doesn’t want you more than once( he showed me multiple times). The second one is from Ghana who is kinda successful in the MLS he likes me but he doesn’t want a serious relationship right now. He doesn’t even take me dates he brings me lame ass food from his practice. He is so forceful when it comes to sex which turns me off (but he is pretty good at it) He thought taking me to a sub shop and ordering to go was a date. At least the Jamaican man buy me food sometimes and drives us places, and sling great ding dong, me and him actually hangout a lot but most of the time it’s me who ask to hangout, which is starting to get annoying...
I’m not really sure what I’m trying to ask because I didn’t know once I got out of college dating was going to this hard. Y’all I really thought I was going to be rich with a rich fine ass black man by my side...the universe said “SIKKKEEE BIH TRY AGAIN” I do want a man I’m tired of being a fwb to a man who doesn’t want me anymore. Idk what to do. I’m sick of dating apps, I’m taking a break from all social media. That’s actually why I joined LSA cause y’all be funny asf.

But anyway Is it crazy that I just want a rich black man bust through my apartment doors and ask me to be his girl and wisp me off to Island getaway and gift me a lambo. Any older women got any advice for me. I love advice. Thank you bby.

I'm 24 and recent grad too.

First off, congratulations on graduating!

Second, stop being clingy.

Third, stop being FWB with men you wanna date. EVERYONE will tell you this

3.5: (This is a personal opinion but some/many agree.) Stop being FWB period. Either accept JUST sex (F*ck buddy) and don't expect or do ANYTHING else with them. OR just avoid it. (Personally, I'd say avoid it altogether because you already admitted you're the clingy type. Or at least you have been at certain points in your life)

Fourth: Stop messing with the dude from Ghana too. He don't want you. He already said that.

Fifth: Try joining your alumni group/association for your campus (I know some have high fees though so YMMV). If not that, just try joining some groups/getting to know people. I hear the meetup app is good for that. I think Bumble (or Hinge?) has a "friends" section of the app you can switch to (there's a professional section too!). I know you said you wanted to stay off apps but I think meetup is a good option cause it is made to set up in-person (or even virtual now) events for people (of all genders, ages, and backgrounds) to do shared activities together. Plus, neither is really a dating app unless you choose that section.

Sixth: this is just about social media/internet in general. If it's giving you too much trouble try downloading an app that blocks apps/websites and then block all the social media sites for a certain amount of time. On my phone I have app blocker (mostly I use it to block food apps lol) and on my computers I have stayfocused which has a nuclear option (set a block for a certain period of time and you can't turn it off or disable the app in any way until the timer has run out) but there's also an option where you can set it so that you can only access certain sites for a set amount of time per day. I've used both settings. Funnily enough, I use it for LSA when I've been spending too much time here.

Good Luck

(NOTE: I'm not ordering you even though it may sound like it! This is just my advice)
 
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The one you really one, the Jamaican doesn't respect you. He uses you for sex and doesn't want a relationship with you. If he did you wouldn't have to beg for him to spend time with you. He would pursue you. Imo you need to let him go cause its not going to change. Let go before he finds the one HE WILL pursue and you are left heartbroken.

You're wasting your time on the other one too.
 
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But anyway Is it crazy that I just want a rich black man bust through my apartment doors and ask me to be his girl

Yes that's crazy and if it happens you betta shoot first and ask questions later.

I think you should take a break from fwb and definitely relationships. You have a bit of work to do but kudos for at least recognizing the signs you have seen
 
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Be with someone who wants the same thing you want , if you want a relationship be with someone that’s looking for a relationship. If they communicate that they’re not then move on, don’t try to change them into wanting that.
 
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Don't waste your time with men who have female "best friend/s", or who hang out mostly with women. The drama that accompanies such situations will never be worth it.
 
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I co-sign with the other fonts - you need to focus on you right now. Those dudes are using you as something to do. FWB never works when one is feeling the other more. If they don't want to pursue more (and treat you better), just leave them alone. You're worth more than that.

You just graduated and I'm sure there are a ton of things you want to do. Start saving money if you haven't already. Look into traveling when you're able to and when it's safe. Have fun, honey. I wish you well!
 
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1. If you really want a rich man, invest in yourself.
2. Work toward getting the next degree.
3. Get on reliable birth control, in addition to wearing condoms.
4. Start and stick with a serious fitness plan.
5. Learn a foreign language, cuisine, and culture.
6. Work on your credit if it is not already considered “Excellent”.

Drop the two you have now, you won’t have time for them if you are working on 1 - 5.
 
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Don't waste your time with men who have female "best friend/s", or who hang out mostly with women. The drama that accompanies such situations will never be worth it.

So true, had a guy I was interested in try to put me as a female best friend and I was like nope so I stopped talking to him. Tried to hit me up on snap never responded.
 
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Do not have sex with men who have not taken you out on several real dates. Do not be a fwb with anyone if you are interested in finding a potential partner. Focus on your career goals, furthering your education, being close to other women, finding hobbies, working out, and your mental health (whether it’s self-help books, therapy, yoga, whatever). If you are having sex with men who only buy you take-out, they don’t have to treat you any better than that to get what they clearly want -sex.
 
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Keep your options open with all things.
Practice safe sex
Never let a man change how you view the world.
Dont move in with a man unless he has some type of job. Sex is not paying these bills.
Don’t worry about what other people think of you.
Threesomes are fine but NEVER with someone you have feelings for.


ETA; let a man court you. It’s a game changer
 
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Thank you for the advice everyone. I have decided to let go of these two men.
I am starting grad school in the fall so my main focus will be on that and bettering myself.
I truly thank all of you ❤️ If I could give you all 1,000,000 alleybux I would especially since I hear thieves outcha stealing em.
 
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You made the right decision by letting both men go. If you want to be a priority do not settle for being an option.

When I was a youngling we hung out with male friends in groups. It was actually more fun than trying to get serious and only one ended up being a FWB.

Whenever I did try to rush a relationship I always regretted it......take your time to learn a man before you jump.

Best wishes.
 
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1. If you really want a rich man, invest in yourself.
2. Work toward getting the next degree.
3. Get on reliable birth control, in addition to wearing condoms.
4. Start and stick with a serious fitness plan.
5. Learn a foreign language, cuisine, and culture.
6. Work on your credit if it is not already considered “Excellent”.

Drop the two you have now, you won’t have time for them if you are working on 1
This all day, week and year!!!
 

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