Poseidon's Underworld: Battles of the Bulge

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Battles of the Bulge

It's been quite a while since I indulged in one of my tributes to the male form as showcased in clingy pants (or something similar), so here we go again. I've been compiling pictures for a while, waiting until I had a generous supply to share. I guess I should be grateful that some of my more eager (and eagle-eyed) readers didn't begin to storm the gates like villagers from Frankenstein, but I had to make sure I had enough "packaged" up before I could send them to you!  Hopefully, there is something here for everyone. Enjoy! (Our cover boy today is Peter Breck of The Big Valley, 1965-1969, who probably made a few of the horses and bulls jealous!)

We never get tired of showing '40s leading man John Payne from various angles.
Likewise, there are few photos of hunkalicious 1920s heartthrob George O'Brien that we don't enjoy peering at. This one might deserve a closer look!
Now, I don't know if this photo or the one above necessarily qualifies as a "bulge" photo, but he sure is cute on his gym saddle and I bet he could really pummel!
O'Brien's occasional costar and director, John Wayne and John Ford, confer about something (not sure if it has anything to do with Duke's trousers or not...)
Wayne in Reap the Wild Wind (1942)
Did Ingrid Bergman ring Gary Cooper's in For Whom the Bell Tolls (1943)?
Reportedly, Errol Flynn was loath to wear anything under his tights in The Adventures of Don Juan (1948) and the rumor may be true if this costume test is any indication.
Here, we see Flynn in the movie proper (with costar Alan Hale) and things seem to be popping up all over...
...and here's a side view.
We've shown snaps of Steve Cochran in Tomorrow is Another Day (1956) before but when the water's good...
This is the same shot as above, but minus the kid.
Fernando Lamas in Jivaro (1954) lets us in on the crotch that stole the show in Broadway's "Happy Hunting" opposite Ethel Merman. (Look up the story sometime for a laugh.)
Underworld favorite John Bromfield starred in the 1955-1958 TV series Sheriff of Cochise.
A fondly remembered series of those who used to watch it originally is Adventures in Paradise (1959-1962) starring Gardner McKay.
Are you able to see Chuck Connors' big gun in The Rifleman (1958-1963) or am I imagining things?
I'm forever intending to do a post on the buddy western series Laramie (1959-1963), which costarred John Smith and his eye-boggling jeans, but I always seem to put it off.
Good luck finding a hunkier, burlier fella than 6'6" Clint Walker of Cheyenne (1955-1963.)
If the above shot of him didn't melt your butter, try this one on for size!
His sometime costar on Cheyenne, Ty Hardin, starred in the spin-off Bronco (1958-1962) and straddles a town barrel in this shot (I wonder whose turn it was to be inside the barrel that day? My guess is Will Hutchins. LOL)
This is from The Virginian, a 1965 episode of the long-running (1962-1971) series. On the left is blond cutie Doug McClure and on the right is guest star Tom Simcox.
Doug always had a lot going on in his cadet blue pants, but this time he shared the screen with some stiff competition.
Tom Somecox, er, I mean Simcox seemed to be living up to his name.
You really can't make out anything in this shot of Lee Majors in The Big Valley (1965-1969), but how could I omit a photo of him in this pose?
Steve McQueen and Yul Brynner may have had magnificent sevens of their own...
South Pacific's (1958) "Stew Pot" Ken Clark has a whole tribute to him elsewhere on this site!

A beaming Tab Hunter shows off some teensy trunks.
Joby Baker in the TV-movie (failed pilot) Valley of Mystery may be demonstrating that there is more than one valley to be explored!
Gridiron hero and movie tough guy Jim Brown is really packin' heat here.
When even your tunic has a bulge, you may be something special as in the case of hunk Rik Battaglia (shown here with Joan Collins in Esther and the King, 1960.)
A more conventional view is seen in this lobby card from 1965's Pyramid of the Sun God, a German adventure that also starred Lex Barker.
Jeff Morrow (shown with Joanne Dru) costarred in September Storm (1960.)
Here we find singer-actor Bobby Sherman in The Partidge Family spin-off Getting Together (1971-1972) alongside guest star Diana Ewing.
James Coburn (with costars James Mason and Susannah York) is sporting some interesting trousers in Duffy (1968.)
Is this part of what made Rex Harrison "Sexy Rexy?" (From 1969's Staircase.)
Dancer extraordinaire Mikhail Baryshnikov almost wears a costume in a performance of "Medea."
Ill-fated comedian-actor Freddie Prinze of Chico and the Man (1974-1977.)
There's a tribute here to Space: 1999 (1975-1977) and its revealing costumes as demonstrated in this photo by Australian actor Nick Tate.
John Schneider and Tom Wopat of The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985) are frequent subjects of posts like these.
This shot offers more where that came from!
During the run of Hazzard (during a contract dispute, actually!), Schneider also worked with Kirk Douglas in Eddie Macon's Run (1983), but kept the skin-tight jeans just the same.
Here we see Wopat dressed (left) for an installment of Battle of the Network Stars (circa 1982-1983.)
And here he is, in the more familiar (yet still dressed left) blue jeans.
This shot of The Village People from 1980's Can't Stop the Music (yet audiences sorta did!) begs the question: Is this all them or did they stuff?
Jimmy McNichol may be ending the eternal question in these sweats as to whether he is hung better than younger sister Kristy! (By the way, despite his Smokey and the Bandit II ball cap, he wasn't in that. He did star in the rip-off Smokey Bites the Dust, released the same year, 1981, though!)
Fellow teen idol Shaun Cassidy shows off part of what made so many girl (and surely a few boy) fans scream their lungs out back in the day.
I'd like to punch whoever cropped this photo of Ryan O'Neal the way they did!
As of late, a few visitors and I have been rhapsodizing about the late Simon MacCorkindale over at "Dreams are What Le Cinema is For..." blog in the Death on the Nile (1978) post.
As seen here, Mr. Mac knew how to paint on some skin-tight jeans! 
From the looks of some of these photos and recollecting some of his roles, it may be possible we'll see a tribute to Mr. Mac. some time in the future!
We saw him earlier (and younger) in this post, but now we find Lee Majors in biker gear for an episode of The Fall Guy (1981-1986), with costar Heather Thomas.
Enjoy the '80s splendor of Scott Baio (with Brooke Shields) in Lycra, spandex or some such fabric for an installment of Circus of the Stars.
Teleporting closer to present day, I give you Mario Lopez from a photo spread that paid tribute to iconic film characters, this one Richard Gere's in American Gigolo (1980.) I dare say he fills out his gray shorts better than the original, though I don't know about comparing the acting...
One of the guardians and presenters of classic film is TCM host Ben Mankiewicz, who on some occasions can be seen in clothing that puts him alongside the stars in this post.
I apologize that the evidence isn't crystal clear, but, believe me, if you watch him often enough and closely enough, it's all there...
Sometimes it seems as if the bulge is all but absent from contemporary projects, though every once in a while some costuming will give way to one, as with Jamie Foxx in Django Unchained (2012.)
It's only natural that he'd be showing some crotchery since his costume for the film was inspired by that of Michael Landon, "King of VPL," from the long-running (1959-1973) western Bonanza! Of course, Foxx went a step further with an upside-down nude scene in this movie for those who are good with physics and geometry.
Here's (not so) "Little Joe" in his early years on the show...
...and here is Landon in his iconic clothing combination, which he more most often on the program.
Second to last, I give you the throat-clogging wonder and awe of Underworld fave Dack Rambo!
And, lastly, I give you the muscleman-actor John Hamill, who some of you may know as one of the spelunkers who came upon a Cro-Magnon man in Joan Crawford's final film Trog (1970.) Based upon this evidence, I think Ms. Crawford may have been doing scientific studies on the wrong costar that time out!!
I hope you had a ball looking over this round of bulges... Till next time, Poseidon!


Armando Kotch said...
Death on the Nile is one of my favorite whodunnits (the scenes between Maggie Smith and Bette Davis alone are worth the price of the dvd). Simon MacCorkindale is well cast and he is good in his part. Happy to see him included in this post.
January 28, 2015 at 10:28 PM
NotFelixUnger said...
A stunning collection all around. I'll take Alan Tate, Jim Brown and Glenn Hughes and David Hodo (both from VP) home with me, if you don't mind.

Simon MacCorkindale was absolutely beautiful. Always was. I used to watch "Manimal" during its short run just to stare at him. (big surprise) I think that show helped to set him back in his career. It's a shame he died so young though he was gorgeous right up to the end.
January 29, 2015 at 1:59 PM
angelman66 said...
Ha!!! Applause, applause for noticing how mild-mannered TCM host Ben Mankiewicz rocks them bluejeans...I honestly thought I was the only one!! Now we all know this professorial Clark Kent type is secretly a cinema history Superman...

Great line-up...my favorites are all the late 1960s and 1970s shots...perhaps because that was when I grew up, but I think it was the cut of the jeans and trousers in that era...they were really made to HUG the body in all the right places...

And thank you as well for quenching the thirst we shared at Le Cinema Dreams for some MacCorkindale beefcake!! These photos you found are gems...

Nobody does it like you, Poseidon!! As always, you've made my day a little, er, fuller!! Thanks!
January 29, 2015 at 2:02 PM
Dave in Alamitos Beach said...
I listened to the new Tom Wopat & John Schneider Christmas album quite a bit last month. Thanks for giving me extra visual, er, fodder to think about while listening to them sing (very well I might add).

I also have fond memories of Simon MacCorkindale, though I surely never saw an episode of Manimal. I picture him with even blonder hair. Maybe he was in an evening soap?

Personally, I'm not a bulge watcher at all unless it can't be missed, so thanks Poseidon for doing the difficult work for all of us! :-)
January 29, 2015 at 2:20 PM
Matt said...
MacCorkindale was late on Falcon Crest in a storyline with Morgan Fairchild.
January 29, 2015 at 2:42 PM
Gingerguy said...
Poseiden, this was a twofer for me, a big laugh on "Magnificent sevens" which is a favorite number of mine, and that there was a spin off to The Partridge Family!
January 29, 2015 at 3:35 PM
Ken Anderson said...
Yay for the MacCorkindale shots!! He's an actor I wish had gone the Nicholas Clay route (in that he seemed to have a clause in his contracts insisting on nude or semi-nude scenes!).Such an amusingly eclectic collection here. Rex Harrison and Scott Baio looks like they could have used some of the aggressive overstuffing employed by The Village Persons. Fave: Bobby Sherman.
Thanks as ever, Poseidon! (For the plug, too!)
January 29, 2015 at 9:29 PM
joel65913 said...
Wonderful work as always! George O'Brien was so atypical of the look of his time and happily prone to peeling off to show the difference. Bless him.

John Hamill posed for a lot of "physique studies" in his day and the promise of those shorts is plainly fulfilled.

I was one of those decrying the misuse of Simon McCorkindale in Death on the Nile and appreciate you corrected the director's error.
January 29, 2015 at 9:31 PM
Poseidon3 said...
I see plenty of you took an interest in this recent burst of bulgery. :-)

Angelman, I wish I had a better photo of Ben M. (too lazy to type his name this morning!), but that was the best I could do. Like you, I love the '60s, '70s (and early '80s!) for pants.

Gingerguy, I, too, was flabbergasted to see that there was a spin-off to "The Partridge Family!" I think I must have heard it once many years ago and then forgotten about it. Wild...

Joel, I am darn near obsessed with O'Brien thanks to his strangely contemporary looks and expressions. I hate that he's unknown and always try to shine more attention on him. And John Hamill... yum. I wish he'd been in more of "Trog" than he was.

Lots of hoorays for Simon MacCorkindale from many of you. That's awesome. Some day I will indeed do a post on him. It won't be very, very soon, but it will come. Thanks very much, everyone, for your remarks and reactions!
January 30, 2015 at 9:04 AM
VanceMan said...
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who practically swoons whenever he sees Ben Mankiewicz's obviously healthy package. And let's please have a serving of Simon MacCorkindale ... just delicious, that one.
January 30, 2015 at 1:01 PM
Scot said...
If you're going to so a post on Simon MacCorkindale, I suggest you check out a movie called The Sword and the Sorcerer. He and Lee Horsley doing the sword and sandals routine. Of course that's only if you want to see Simon MacCorkindale tied up, shirtless in the dungeon! I think Horsley does a shirtless scene also.
February 2, 2015 at 4:12 AM
Scot said...
I just did some looking around and you can watch the entire movie here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2ZrfHIRAL0

There are a few more familiar faces in The Sword and the Sorcerer, such as Reb Brown, George Maharris, Richard Moll and many more.
February 2, 2015 at 5:30 AM
Panalex said...
Awesome post, as all of them have been! I join in the appeal for more Mac Corkindale in the future. And I am willing to bet The Village People stuffed! Yet, THE place to go for bulging abundance is certainly Moonbase Alpha of "Space 1999". (By the way, it is actually Nick Tate; Alan was the name of his character.)
February 5, 2015 at 5:37 AM
Poseidon3 said...
Jesus.... I knew that "Alan Tate" didn't sound right, but I declined to look it up again before completing the post! Sorry. I'll fix that asap.

Vance, Scot and others, I'm sure I will get around to Simon one day, especially after the enthusiasm shown here. (And, Scot, I'll be sure to check out that movie when I do! Thanks!)
February 5, 2015 at 7:32 AM
Dan said...
With the exception of Fernando Lamas' and John Hamill, that was quite the collection of micro-bulges.

March 27, 2016 at 5:46 PM
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