There’s no shortage of available-and-ready-to-commit high-quality men in the world. They’re at your local supermarket, the train station, your gym, and online. At times, they’re the guys seated next to you in the plane.
And yet, according to statistics from UN Women, the number of single ladies continues to rise with more women staying single until their late forties.
This is a question with a boatload of answers but from personal experience and learning through my friends’ lives, one thing is clear: The modern woman is single because she’s selective. Any type of guy just won’t cut it for her. In short, she wants a high-quality man. But here’s the twist:
A high-quality man isn’t interested in any type of woman.
Because he’s cut from a different cloth from the average Joe, this dude has high standards and esteem, takes good care of his body, handles his business like a pro, and doesn’t waste his life.
The cherry on top? He’s got much more to offer his woman than other men.
How do I know? Because I attracted this same guy half a decade ago. Also, I’ve seen women attract the men they want, meaning I can teach you a few things you can do to increase your chances of meeting him.
Here’s how you can become an irresistible catch for this special type of guy.
Value This Quality More Than You Value Romance.
There seemed to be something about this girl in college who attracted losers and scrubs. Men used and dumped her at will. She had endless drama with her weirdo boyfriends.
I met her a few years ago and I must say, she’d cleaned up pretty good — dressed in a manner that accentuated her femininity, a far cry from her old tomboy dress code. Oh, did I mention that strapped on her arm was a fine-looking, tall well-polished gentleman?
There are things you don’t need to be told. This was one of them — the miss had grown some principles!
There’s something attractive about a woman who values her principles more than she values romance.
Often we think principles are these heavy-weight set of rules while they’re just simple and easy to grasp non-negotiables we use to stabilize our lives. Mine is a devotion to my faith, something I made crystal clear to my lover at the very onset of our courtship.
It’s important to define and uphold your principles is not just because they carry you throughout all the phases of your life but because they have a huge bearing on the type of men you attract.
A high-quality man is drawn to this type of woman because it signals that she’s stable, secure, and worth building a lasting relationship with.
Be Crystal Clear About What You Want.
You’ve met this nice guy but aren’t sure if he’s worth taking seriously or not. I mean, nothing’s usually written on the forehead of a guy that can reveal his intentions with you. Your best bet is to check whether or not he’s playing games with you.
Is he planting ideas in your head that contradicts what his actions are saying?
A high-quality man isn’t out to play games. There are so many things he could be doing with his time, and if he doesn’t see you as a woman he wants to commit his time to, he’ll take his business elsewhere. This isn’t a bad thing because it gives you the freedom to meet someone with whom you’re compatible.
What does this mean for you?
If your eyes are set on a high-quality guy, you need to know what you want. Not in a vague way but clearly and concisely. I was crystal clear that I wanted a man who would be a perfect male model for my son, or I’d take my business elsewhere.
Once you’ve figured out what you want, stick to that and don’t play games. If you think the brother isn’t it? Let him off the hook early enough. This is the sort of chick a man can’t help but respect.
Classy ladies don’t play games which is how they weed out the losers, leaving space for serious, commitment-minded fine gentlemen to find them.
Cultivate Emotional Independence.
I once heard a guy on Tv say,
“If you really wanna know your chick, observe how she reacts when you tell her you can’t make it for a date.”
How do you respond when your boyfriend cancels a date at the last minute or when it takes him longer than usual to text back?
You’ll be surprised how many of us start weaving stories that do us more harm than good. “Well, I guess he isn’t into me.” But an emotionally independent woman knows isn’t quick to make assumptions. She’s solid in her intuition. This woman is it.
She’s the one you don’t have to “carry” or “lift” to make her feel better about herself, her life, or whatever is happening around her. She has this quiet and confident demeanor you can’t help noticing. She can manage her emotions all by herself.
Few traits make a woman attractive and desirable than emotional independence.
Another thing is, there are a million little annoyances hitting us from all directions at any one time —a nasty relative, rowdy kids, a mean boss, failure, loss. You want to be the woman who can stand on her feet and fight it out. There’s something captivating about a woman who doesn’t sweat the small stuff.
High-quality guys love this.
Sprinkle Your Life With Options and a Variety of Cool Stuff.
I’m yet to meet an exciting person with a dull and bland life. Interesting people have exciting lives. They have so much going on it’s hard to see them bored. Their only problem is the lack of enough time to do what they want. High-quality men have full lives — creativity and fun at every corner.
Girl, you need to have a busy schedule. Fill your time with many exciting things. This isn’t to mean you keep running around aimlessly or for the sake of it. It means discovering and sticking with activities that make you come alive.
On those days when he can’t make a date because a work meeting took longer than expected, don’t begin to wonder, “What do I do now?” swiftly grab your current read and lose yourself to it. Have a plan b,c, and d. Sprinkle your life with options and choices and a variety of cool stuff.
A high-quality man is attracted to this. Why?
First, because that’s how he operates, too. He has a Why. And his Why produces a long list of activities that keep him engaged. He wants a woman who adds to this excitement. Remember, conversations at the dinner table that discuss individual wins, goals, and desires are captivating.
A high-quality man will hold you in high regard because your life isn’t centered on him.
Secondly, when you’ve got a buzz, you make him curious. You become a challenge he wants to pursue. And we all know how much guys love a challenge, right?
“A strong woman builds her own world. She is one who is wise enough to know that it will attract the man she will gladly share it with.”
― Ellen J. Barrier.
Don’t Be a Princess.
One guy once told me how he ended it with a hot chick with whom he hoped to have a stable future because she never stopped asking him to buy her “pretty things.”
There’s nothing wrong about a potential lover buying you stuff, but you have to tread carefully here as it can break any hope of ending up with a high-quality man. In my opinion, the man you want to be with can’t afford to be stingy.
You want a man who’s willing to commit not just himself but his money if he truly values you. I must confess that, like many women, I love money and beautiful things, but I get embarrassed when my male friends break up with ladies because they were too brazen in requesting stuff.
Because a high-quality man is ambitious, he’s not attached to his wallet. He knows he can make money in many ways, and it’s precisely why he’s generous. But if you’re constantly hinting and suggesting you want him to buy you this or that, he’ll not only see a gigantic, red warning flag that screams gold-digger, but he’ll also find you manipulative.
And, he’ll run the other way.
Why would he not? He wants you to want him for his character and not his wallet. For who is he and not what his wallet can offer. Here’s the thing, though; Once you pass the character test, you also pass the wallet test. Men don’t have a problem spending and investing in you when they know who you are.
I suspect one of the reasons why my hubby is always buying me stuff (most of which I don’t need) is that I never asked for anything when our relationship was young. To attract a high-quality man, don’t be a princess who feels she must be lavished with gifts.
Be a woman who is genuinely interested in knowing him first. Remember, a high-quality man is very perceptive and can see your intentions from miles away.