"Hopeless Time Waster"
What You Need To Know:
SHARK NIGHT 3D exists purely to serve as a visceral thriller, promising to give viewers jolts of fear about big-teethed predator fish. However, it never delivers. The characters are barely defined, the acting is largely awful, and the pacing is as murky as much of the underwater cinematography. The sharks are obviously computer-generated, which won’t scare anyone, except for some fleeting moments. Eventually, the movie’s logic falls apart as the situations get nastier, with characters reduced to being as disposable as garbage. SHARK NIGHT 3D is an utterly moronic, pointlessly mediocre thriller that barely scares and never thrills its intended audience. It’s a hopeless time-waster destined to go where bad new movies often go to die.
(HH, PCPC, LLL, VV, S, NN, AA, MM) Strong humanist, nihilistic worldview in cheap thriller about sharks swimming wild in the Louisiana bayous and the seven college students who attempt to fight back and make it home alive with a very nasty attitude in which many of the students are served up as shark food by the villains who own the sharks, creating a misanthropic mood in which most of the characters viewers are supposed to root for are treated like animal bait, with strong politically correct attitude toward certain kind of Southerners; at least 35 obscenities and profanities, plus two rednecks also taunt two minority characters with racial slurs; strong violence include implied shark attacks with sharks swimming towards their victims and then camera cuts away and cuts back to blood in the water or cuts away as the shark jumps and bites a victim, one black male victim against all odds stays alive and keeps coming back for more against the sharks even after his right arm is chewed clean off, victims trapped in cages or tied to chairs ad dunked in water until they almost drown, at least two stabbings and one shooting, two women held hostage and threatened with rape, victims try to fight back with guns and knives; sexual content is mostly young adults talking and joking about fornication; brief partial upper female nudity, rear male nudity, and women in bikinis; underage college students but alcohol; no smoking or drugs; and, lying, kidnapping, corrupt sheriff.
SHARK NIGHT 3D is an utterly moronic, pointlessly mediocre horror thriller that barely scares and never thrills its intended audience. It’s a hopeless time-waster.
Seven college students drive up together to a lake house owned by one of them, a girl named Sara. At the lake, they have to fight off two rednecks from the nearest town, the corrupt town sheriff and an array of shark attacks. One by one, the college students fall prey to the sharks. While at least three explanations for how sharks wound up in a Louisiana river bayou are given, they are all absurd and over-complicated, and the movie and its characters are lacking in the logic to make viewers care anyway.
SHARK NIGHT 3D exists purely to serve as a visceral thriller, promising to give viewers jolts with their fear of big-teethed predator fish. However, it never actually delivers. The characters are barely defined, the acting is largely awful, and the pacing is as murky as much of the underwater cinematography. The sharks are obviously computer-generated imagery, which is ineffective in scaring any viewers in all but fleeting moments. When the movie reveals that a corrupt sheriff and two rednecks are in control of a giant number of sharks, and are filming the deaths of shark victims in the hopes of selling the imagery as a reality TV special, the movie’s logic falls apart even more. At the same time, the level of nastiness increases, with characters reduced to being as disposable as garbage.
SHARK NIGHT 3D is just hopeless viewing for those unwitting enough to stumble across it.