Why midlife women are walking out, and what to do about it. In the groundbreaking book “Revolting Women,” author Lucy Ryan fearlessly exposes the shocking reasons why droves of midlife women are boldly walking away from unfulfilling careers and relationships. Prepare to have your assumptions shattered as Ryan reveals the empowering truth behind this transformative trend.
Discover the jaw-dropping revelations that are inspiring a midlife revolution – keep reading to learn the secrets to reclaiming your power and redefining your future.
Table of Contents
Genres
Women’s Issues, Self-Help, Midlife Crisis, Female Empowerment, Sociology, Psychology, Relationships, Career Development, Non-fiction, Personal Development
In “Revolting Women,” Lucy Ryan delves into the growing phenomenon of midlife women making dramatic life changes by walking away from unfulfilling jobs, marriages, and societal expectations. Through a combination of personal stories, research, and keen insights, Ryan uncovers the complex web of factors driving this exodus.
She explores how women often reach a breaking point after years of shouldering the burdens of emotional labor at home and facing gender discrimination and burnout at work. Ryan argues that this midlife crisis is actually an empowering awakening as women recognize their worth, reevaluate their priorities, and courageously pursue more authentic lives. The book serves as a rallying cry for women to revolt against outdated norms and offers practical strategies for navigating this transformative period with resilience and purpose.
Review
“Revolting Women” is a timely and provocative exploration of the midlife upheaval experienced by countless women today. Lucy Ryan’s writing is sharp, witty, and unapologetically honest as she validates the experiences of women who are boldly rejecting the status quo.
The book’s greatest strength lies in its ability to reframe the midlife crisis as a powerful opportunity for growth and self-discovery. Ryan masterfully weaves together personal anecdotes, scientific research, and cultural analysis to paint a comprehensive picture of the forces driving women to revolt.
While the book occasionally veers into generalizations, it remains an essential read for any woman grappling with the challenges and possibilities of midlife. “Revolting Women” is ultimately a clarion call for women to embrace their power, redefine success on their own terms, and forge a new path forward. It is a must-read for anyone seeking to understand and support the revolutionary potential of midlife women.
Recommendation
Many women leave their careers at midlife – often just as they reach the height of their professions. Through compelling research and personal stories, psychologist Lucy Ryan uncovers the reasons behind this exodus: a desire for flexibility, purpose and recognition that workplaces often fail to provide to midlife women. Ryan sheds light on the challenges and aspirations of these women and offers hope for employers to harness their talent and ensure their careers flourish. Ryan aims to spark a workplace revolution that celebrates and accommodates the unique strengths and needs of midlife women.
Take-Aways
- Women are underrepresented in positions of power in today’s workforce, and many organizations fail to recognize this fact.
- Older women face age discrimination at work.
- Historical theories of the female body continue to drive the marginalization of women in the workplace.
- Misconceptions about menopause can make finding a work-life balance difficult for women.
- The collision of new stressors and responsibilities that midlife brings often leads women to leave their jobs.
- Mortality and aging cause many midlife women to rethink their career paths.
- Many midlife women remain determined to stay in the workforce.
- The resiliency of midlife women is something to celebrate and value.
- Midlife women are redefining the meaning of career success.
Summary
Women are underrepresented in positions of power in today’s workforce, and many organizations fail to recognize this fact.
Midlife women make up the largest demographic in the workforce, but the situation changes once women approach positions of power. In the UK, if women held the same proportion of executive roles as their proportion in society, there would be 919 more female executives than there are at present. Women in the UK hold fewer than 40% of managerial roles in schools, only 17% of social media CEO positions, 22% of museum and gallery chairs, and 15% of leadership roles within sports governing bodies.
Employers may not fully recognize the underrepresentation of women in leadership roles because a prevalent media narrative suggests middle-aged women have achieved significant progress in attaining influential positions. Some business leaders and studies promote the notion that gender parity has been achieved. However, this perception fails to account for data and women’s lived experiences that highlight a persistent disparity in senior roles across various sectors.
“Many male leaders believe the playing field is now level and that gender parity no longer needs to be a corporate priority. The data don’t agree with this view.” (Bain & Co.)
Midlife women’s exclusion from positions of power results, at least in part, from ingrained age and gender biases, which have allowed women’s absence to become overlooked or normalized. In fact, research shows women are systematically excluded from powerful roles due to their age, gender and tendency to work part-time. Women’s lack of visibility and representation at senior levels reinforces stereotypes and perpetuates a culture where women’s contributions are undervalued or ignored, particularly as they age.
Older women face age discrimination at work.
Ageism against women in the workforce, fueled by societal and cultural stereotypes that associate their midlife years with decline and irrelevance, contrasts sharply with more positive perceptions of aging men. For example, Dame Mary Beard, a 60-year-old Cambridge scholar, appeared on a British political TV show wearing no makeup, with her long gray hair loose. Immediately, sexist and lewd comments poured in. The experience, Dame Beard wrote in response, “would be quite enough to put many older women off appearing in public, [and] contributing to political debate.”
“As men age, they are viewed as more competent and valuable in the workplace; as women age, they lose their credibility with every new wrinkle.”
The use of derogatory language toward older women, such as “frumpy” or “past her prime,” continues to reflect the deeply ingrained sexist and ageist attitudes that marginalize women and bring their relevance and capability into question. Systemic bias, maintained through both overt actions and subtle cues, leads to a workplace environment where older women face significant barriers to recognition and advancement despite their experience and skills.
Historical theories of the female body continue to drive the marginalization of women in the workplace.
Theories portraying the female body as inherently weak and inferior have roots in Ancient Greek philosophy. Greek men categorized women as less-than-human, akin to animals, based on their belief that women’s internal reproductive organs were an inverse of men’s external ones and, as such, a clear sign of female inferiority. During the Enlightenment, men employed anatomical arguments about women’s smaller skulls and larger pelvises – suggesting they showed women were naturally suited only for motherhood and domestic roles – to restrict women’s participation in government, commerce and science.
“The closer the woman gets to power, the more urgent the need to put them down.”
Even in the 21st century, sexist beliefs – for example, that women who are pregnant or menopausal are unstable or fragile – continue to pigeonhole women into roles associated with nurturing and deference. Some contemporary neurologists and psychologists argue that biological differences justify limiting women’s opportunities in leadership and high-status professions. Despite evidence that female leadership can enhance organizational performance, women’s persistent underrepresentation and marginalization, particularly as they age, reflects a deep-rooted reluctance within organizations to challenge male-dominated power structures.
Misconceptions about menopause can make finding a work-life balance difficult for women.
Women facing menopause in the workplace often experience awkwardness and shame. This is partly due to negative perceptions and stereotypes surrounding this natural phase of life. Despite some celebrities and public figures bringing attention to menopause and advocating for more open discussions about the topic, the UK government has resisted implementing policies specifically aimed at supporting working menopausal women, such as menopause leave.
“The older female body is both invisible – in that it is no longer seen – and hypervisible – in that it is all that is seen.”
Silence and lack of understanding around menopause harm women’s careers. In the UK, 10% of women leave their jobs due to unmanageable symptoms such as hot flashes that make sitting through a board meeting impossible. In 2018, nearly half of women polled said menopause negatively affected their mental health. There is a critical need for workplaces to adapt and provide better support for women during this transition. Menopause is hard enough without having the fear of losing your job because you can’t take an afternoon off to deal with symptoms.
The collision of new stressors and responsibilities that midlife brings often leads women to leave their jobs.
Sometimes, structural changes in the workplace, such as takeovers and shifts in roles, push midlife women to resign. Often, however, new caregiving responsibilities that come into play in midlife – including care for aging parents, ill spouses or adult children with mental health issues – complicate women’s ability to maintain a full-time presence at work.
“We older people want to work. But bosses just don’t want us to. The discrimination we face is an outrage.” (Dorothy Byrne, President of Murray Edwards College, Cambridge University)
Despite societal assumptions of increased freedom and autonomy for older women, many still have dependent children at home, debunking the myth of the “empty nester” and highlighting the persistent physical and mental exhaustion they experience. Women often respond to these challenges by taking breaks from their jobs – about one-third do – or stepping down from their roles entirely. The number of women who leave their jobs is a testament to how caregiving responsibilities disrupt women’s professional lives.
“Take any sector, any organization, public or private, and senior female professionals will still be in the minority, and … this is commonly by a ratio of some 10:1.”
The real issue is that society often overlooks the significant challenges midlife women face in balancing unpaid caregiving responsibilities with their careers. The disparity between men and women in unpaid work is stark. Women perform a significantly higher volume of unpaid care work than men – about 60% more, according to data from the UK’s Office for National Statistics. The gap tends to begin with the birth of a couple’s first child and intensifies by age 50, particularly as care for aging parents becomes necessary. Women who abandon their careers in midlife express a mix of regret for leaving their roles and a desire for what could have been. For some, there’s a lingering wish for the support and flexibility that could have made staying with their employers a viable option.
Mortality and aging cause many midlife women to rethink their career paths.
Mortality awareness in midlife women can lead to significant career changes as they reassess life priorities and the meaning of their work in the face of existential introspection. For example, the realization of life’s finitude, combined with personal or familial health crises, prompts some to leave organizations or pivot to roles that offer a deeper sense of fulfillment. Thus, the contemplation of mortality catalyzes midlife women to pursue careers that align more closely with their revised values and life goals.
“Social expectations for midlife are based on a life expectancy that is more in tune with how we lived 40 years ago.”
Furthermore, the physical realities of aging can profoundly affect midlife women’s career trajectories, prompting a reassessment of professional goals and personal well-being. For instance, witnessing a parent’s health decline or experiencing their own health issues can prompt women to prioritize their physical fitness and make career decisions that better accommodate their health needs. Consequently, many midlife women shift to careers that offer greater flexibility, more robust health benefits, and an easier balance between professional achievement and personal health.
Many midlife women remain determined to stay in the workforce.
Despite the hurdles they face during midlife, many women strongly desire to maintain or advance their careers due to the sense of fulfillment that professional achievement brings. For instance, Lori, a 50-year-old talent director juggling care responsibilities and work, remains ambitious and plans to return to full-time work after the death of her parents. Contrary to the notion that women’s drive declines as they age, midlife can be a peak period for women to achieve competence, mastery and satisfaction in their careers.
“Much of what we dread about aging is actually the result of ageism, which we can, and should, battle as strongly as we do racism, sexism and other forms of bigotry.”
Midlife challenges often lead women to reassess their life’s purpose. Though crises or responsibilities may cause midlife women to pause their career journeys, many emerge from these experiences with renewed energy, a stronger sense of empowerment and a greater desire to achieve their goals. For example, Nina, a mother of two who cared for three elders simultaneously, had to wait until her mother, mother-in-law and aunt passed away before she could return to active pursuit of her career aspirations. Now, she’s in a leadership role and relishing her newfound independence.
The resiliency of midlife women is something to celebrate and value.
Midlife women often possess profound resilience that enables them to navigate significant life changes and challenges with strength, adaptability and a forward-looking attitude. Many women challenge societal stereotypes and the “decline narrative” associated with aging by focusing on growth, learning and pursuing new challenges. By rejecting the limiting societal expectations and embracing the opportunities for transformation and achievement that midlife presents, many women demonstrate the “sparkle of female genius” – a phrase from the feminist scholar Julia Kristeva, referring to midlife women’s joie de vivre and interest in other people.
“Resilience allows a person to rebound from adversity as a strengthened and more resourceful person.”
Organizations should value the resiliency of midlife women and the wealth of talent and expertise that women in this age group offer. As one woman points out, the professional and life skills accumulated by midlife women represent a significant resource that, when overlooked, constitutes a waste of potential. Older women bring “gray capital” to the workplace – authority and credibility due to their mature appearance. Valuing midlife women not only fosters diversity and inclusivity but also enriches the workplace with these women’s depth of experience, wisdom, and mature perspectives on problem-solving and leadership.
Midlife women are redefining the meaning of career success.
Midlife women seek careers that spark their intrinsic interest and passion, offering them a sense of enjoyment and purpose in their work. They prioritize flexibility in their roles, allowing them to maintain a harmonious balance between their professional responsibilities and personal lives. The opportunity for ongoing growth and development within and outside their organizations is crucial for these women, enabling continual evolution and enrichment of their careers and personal skills.
“Enjoyment, flexibility, and growth – not a bad list if you are still wondering how to keep your midlife women!”
Midlife women are redefining career success by prioritizing values such as excitement, creativity and learning over traditional markers like status. They will leave organizations that fail to recognize or accommodate their need for flexibility, growth and work-life balance. They measure career success by their ability to fulfill personal ambitions and maintain well-being. Midlife women refuse to define success solely in terms of climbing the corporate ladder, and many are challenging their organization’s patriarchal systems and structures.
About the Author
Lucy Ryan is a psychologist and coach specializing in women in leadership.