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its a long story but the short of it is i travel a lot - im constantly moving to new countries or new states due to family issues but now that im an adult i should probably go on my own by now. i have a decent enough home life and am currently living with my father and older brother in a small town in iowa. kind of a shithole with nothing to do and its hard to get a job (lack of motivation and ability to show up, not able to drive, no degree, generally very autistic and mentally ill) so i was just wondering if i should pack a bag, grab my guitar and just fuck off for a bit. i would probably wait till i do get a license so i can bring a car to sleep in and travel with and busk on the side for extra cash for things like food and gas
i dont have much of a future ahead of me and i dont plan to off myself just yet but im wondering if i should just up and do it
i dont have a destination in mind except maybe going to maine. no particular reason i just feel like it would be a nice place
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The best thing I ever did for my mental health was fuck off and be homeless for a bit honestly. It gives you a new perspective on life. That being said I would put a lot of thought into it because once you've been on the road for a while it's hard to get off it again and reintegrate into society. I've been trying to be normal for almost 2 years now and am still yet to secure stable housing
No lie here - a dead end town holds nothing more than a dead end future.
Most crappy small towns with no future only have things like meth and fent for young people that have no future.
Travel? Maybe? Military? Maybe? But you've said there's no future there, so you gotta do something.
You don't want to be a 45-year-old burned-out addict in a no-name town with no future.
Figure out what you want to do with your life and chase that like you'll die if you don't get it.
My 2¢.
I’m 18 and in a similar situation to OP (I’m not quite sure how to address the both of you, here 😂). I am about to graduate high school but have already really messed up my college transcripts due to failed dual enrollment attempts. I have been working a dead-end, soul-killing job for months that pays me much too little and similarly to OP, I live in a small town and thus am unable to switch jobs. I don’t have much going for me and am bad with the money I do make. All this to say, I empirically believe that you have given OP good advice because what keeps me sane and hopeful is clinging to a future in which I can help animals and make a difference in the world (my personal ideal future). I’ve made that my meaning in life. Sure, OP, you could leave… but then what? What happens if you get sick of the lifestyle (which many do) and still don’t have a plan for your future? You can make your life better and becoming a vagabond is not the only way to achieve that; access the current things in your life that are making you unhappy and try to figure out how you can improve those factors.
Give 4 years to the military. Get room and board for the duration, save up money, preferable learn a trade that translates to the outside world. Possibly make lifelong friends, G.I. bill for college/tradeschool if you want it. In the mean time work on those life skills, hopefully see some of the world and hopefully figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life.
Don't do infantry if you want to set yourself up right. Unless you want I guess, but you ideally want to leave with a tradeskill.
And then, if you still want. Hit the road. You only get one shot at the start of your adult life, make it count.
For clarification, I never did military. I work military adjacent and have seen it go bad and good depending on the person. But if you don't know what to do, it's what I would do.
Check out working holiday visas.
I'm 52 with bipolar disorder. In general, our disorder shows up in easily childhood and can progress significantly during our 20's.
We do best when we have a healthy daily routine, support from family, and regular access to healthcare. It will be a huge struggle to manage your mental health when you are having to put a huge amount of mental energy into basic survival that you do not have to do at home. Something completely normal like three days of rain in a wet tent with no way to get dry or warm or sleep well could cause someone with bipolar disorder to have a manic episode, and without your support people around, getting back to a good mental state is really difficult.
Also, there's nothing more dangerous for someone with bipolar disorder than to have a manic episode in public. Even if you're just acting weird, nobody is going to call a doctor to help you.. They are going to call the police and the police only know how to treat you like a violent criminal. And because you're having a manic episode, your behavior is likely to cause them to escalate the situation when what you really need is a medical professional to help you calm down so you can accept help. So if you are going to be out there alone, you need a plan for what you are going to do and who you are going to call when you first notice that you're starting to slip mentally. This is easy for me at age 52 with the support of my wife who can also notice small changes in behavior that require a call to my psychiatrist, but in my 20's I wouldn't have been able to.
If you are not on disability, you might want to make that your biggest short to medium term goal. This will ensure that you have both healthcare as you get older and some money regularly coming in to take care of yourself for the rest of your life.
But all that being said, you should find a way to scratch that itch to wander even if it's something you take a while to plan. But you might have a much better time doing a long distance backpacking trip than voluntarily choosing to be homeless with a very significant (but manageable) mental health disorder.
The American Discovery trail passes through the entirety of Iowa from East to West. Maybe getting out into nature and putting some miles in on some trails might feel really good. Start out with some 5-10 mile day hikes, then try some 20-30 mile weekend trips, and build from there. You could do it this summer and then if Maine is where your want to go, give the Appalachian trail a try next year.
Good luck and if you ever need someone to talk about dealing with bipolar disorder, you can always massage me
I agree here. My brother is unhoused. He has been in more jails in different places than I can count because he refuses to take medication and becomes violent when he is in a manic cycle. He also frequently loses all his belongings and never has identification or family contact details on him. He has been declared unfit to obtain a driver's licence because he used to have meltdowns when trying to learn, so it's good that he doesn't have control of a vehicle. OP please make sure you have a medication plan or at least information about your disorder on your person in case you become unwell. You may not notice yourself that you are cycling.
I actually have a business card from my psychiatrist in my wallet and the back side is the only thing immediately visible in the transparent driver's license holder.. On the back side I wrote "I have bipolar disorder. Please call my doctor."
That is a really good idea.
Get the GED and learn a trade
Go back to school and secure some sort of future for yourself. You’re too young to venture in to the outside world with no safety net.
I recommend getting a drivers license at least. Get your dad to teach you. It’s no big deal but probably nobody you meet will want to teach you or lend their car for a while so lean on pops. Preferably get a cheap car too. And get your aid together - food stamps and whatever else you can get arranged while you have a solid mailing address.
Also I know it’s complicated but check in with your folks when you out there. An email or a short phone call once a week just to let them know you’re ok. Monday nights was my default time. Parents worry and you can cut it short if you’re not in the mood for their bullshit.
This, you know how many people I haveheard say" I'll teach you to drive!!" And then when it is time to show up.....crickets.
Also, I left Canada @ 16 went to U.K and bummed around Ireland for a year living in a caravan and hanging out with some ragtags and their donkey along the way. It was awesome, and have never had a better NYE since.
Go learn a trade, work for a couple years, get on your own and then decide if that’s what you really want. I know you want something different but living on the street sucks man. I appreciate the culture and that’s why I’m here, but the few times I’ve been houseless for short periods of time seriously sucked. Now I own a home, have a wife, career, and kids and couldn’t imagine life any other way. All the long term vagabonds I’ve met are just a bit unhinged and can’t really integrate back into society. They inevitably end up a 50 year old dude washing dishes telling people that don’t really care crazy stories from 20 years ago. They’re living in a shitty apartment with roommates trying to scrounge together enough change for cigs, beer, and pot. Which isn’t the worst thing in the world when you’re young. A lot crappier when you’re in your 40s and up. My point is don’t run from the world unless you’re really sure. The only older dude I’ve met who was normal rode rails because he was called to that life, not because he was running from his current life.
No matter where you go, there you are. Also known as the fallacy of location. Don't leave your support network. A different location will not fix your issues.
If you're asking the answer is no. This life is very much harder than any you are looking at by staying put living in a house. Its either irresistable to you or not going to end well. It still probably wont end well. Most of my old friends are dead and im just dreaming of the old days before i shattered my ankle and had to find a new life.
Sounds like the worst circumstances to throw yourself into homelessness in
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Just go and be free for a smidge bit. That's the best advice my friend. Fly 🕊️
Sincerely Quirky-Blurky 🥭
Make a choice but go to a bigger city that’s liberal and advocates for mental health. Whatever decision you make will be the right one