Maya Henry has been hard at work on her first fiction novel and she nearly broke the internet with the news that it's finally coming out. And not only is it a big moment for us to finally get to read it, but also for her as she is officially makes her writer dreams come true.
Cosmopolitan has your first official exclusive look at Maya's debut novel, Looking Forward, which is coming soon to Amazon. In an Instagram post back in February, Maya revealed the book's official title and cover while also getting real about what this project means to her.
"I’m very nervous to share a project that was once my most personal outlet of joy and freedom - a story I never intended to share," she wrote. "I hope that by doing so, anyone out there experiencing similar trauma and hardships as my main character will feel less alone."
And now we're getting a deeper glimpse of what we can expect as Maya shares the description of the book, which you can read down below:
Looking Forward is Maya Henry’s debut novel inspired from fan-fiction, telling the story of Mallory Hunt. Growing up in an exclusive Tennessee neighborhood, Mallory never fit in. Chubby and brunette in a sea of blond future debutantes, she takes solace in her tight-knit family and best friend Luna. Together, the girls bond over their favorite band, 5Forward, imagining exciting, glamorous futures. Years later, Mal is suddenly thrust into the world of high fashion modeling. She transforms herself from small town outcast to model, meeting people she's only seen in magazines… including Oliver Smith, the handsome former member of 5Forward! From Dubai to Paris, London to Coachella, Mallory finds herself desperately in love with the former boy-bander despite fame, attention, and personal demons that threaten them both. As their fantasy love affair goes from private intimacy to public meltdown, Mallory learns the pain and heartache when your love goes from girlhood fantasy to real-life drama.
While the book's official release date is still being kept under wraps, Maya didn't want you to wait too long to find out what happens. You can check out an exclusive excerpt below before you get read to pre-order the book real soon!
An Excerpt From Looking Forward
By Maya Henry
I stand on the tarmac with two suitcases. The plane is in front of me, stairs lowered. I know I should board, but I don’t want to, not yet.
They won’t leave without me. I’m the only passenger. The plane belongs to my father’s firm, Henry Hunt Law. I asked him if I could use it, just this once.
Okay, he said. Where you going?
I’ll send the details to your assistant, I said. Thanks.
Then I hung up.
I hadn’t talked to him for a year, and this seemed an okay place to start. Saying yes was the least he could do.
Maybe I’ll talk to him again, I don’t know. Maybe I won’t. You can’t plan everything, that’s what I’ve learned these last few months. That’s how I ended up standing here, ready to board a flight to a new apartment in a new city. A fresh start. I have no idea what I’ll do when I get there, but that’s okay too.
I am still young. I’ve got my whole life ahead of me.
When I first left London, I was in a pretty bad state. I told myself the best way to move on was to forget. Just let them float from my mind, all the bad things that happened. Forget everything, especially the end.
Forget Oliver.
I didn’t forget, though. Hard as I tried, I couldn’t. I was so traumatized. In the end, I realized that forgetting wouldn’t help anything. Besides, there were some things I wanted to remember. Good things. Standing on a balcony in front of the Eiffel Tower at night; sand dunes at sunset.
Dancing with Oliver in a hotel room. The first time he made me think, so this is what it’s supposed to be like.
I can’t forget the bad times, either. But that’s okay. Remember so they won’t happen again, that’s what I’ve decided.
I can’t forget Oliver and I don’t want to. But for a while, I didn’t want to think about him either. I avoided any mention of him online, and my family knew not to say his name. As the days passed, I found myself thinking about him less and less.
I found a podcast interview he did right after I left. He had announced our breakup without warning me, and it had hit the press. I’m sure it was Gerry’s idea.
On the podcast, Oliver said he was bad at love. He always fucked it up. I’m meant to be alone, he said, laughing. No, really.
I didn’t think it was funny. I thought it was sad.
After the podcast, the articles were everywhere. Engagement Over for Oliver Smith and Mallory Hunt. The comments were worse. Everyone was feeling sorry for Oliver. Poor Oliver! I hope Oliver is okay! Oliver deserves better. Having to relive the breakup all over again through the press and everyone’s opinions made me sick. How can anyone comment or have an opinion without even knowing the real truth? Then there were the paps. Getting pictures of the sad, brokenhearted Mallory Hunt was clickbait. I couldn’t wait to disappear again. Meanwhile, Oliver is in rehab, and no one knows. He gets to hide away and not be seen.
It took a while for me to recover from what happened in London.
Even longer to start feeling better. But between my family and the therapist, it got easier and easier every day. At some point, I went from feeling better to actually feeling good. I started laughing again. The panic attacks weren’t as bad anymore, I could sleep through the night without waking up and crying. That was cool.
Rose wanted to know if I was ready to model again. I’d taken a break after London, but months had passed. I thought about it for a while. Not quite yet, I told her.
Then when? she asked. Ever?
I told her I wasn’t sure.
She said it wasn’t good for my career, putting everything on hold like this. Do it long enough, and I might not have a modeling career at all.
I thanked her for the advice. Then I got off the phone.
If you don’t want to model, what do you want to do? That’s what Luna asked. I mean, you can’t sit around in Tennessee forever.
I knew she was right. But what did I want to do?
I told her I’d like to finish school and maybe become a writer one day. Luna squealed. That makes me so happy, she said. You’ve always loved writing.
And the best place to start this journey? The center of everything.
Now I’m standing in front of a plane that will take me to New York City. It will be good for me, knowing no one. I can paint my own picture of the place, make it my own.
Maybe I’ll hate it, but that’s okay too. I’ll just go somewhere else.
That’s the thing about life; you don’t have to plan it all out. Sometimes it won’t work out, but that isn’t the end. There is always a new place to go and new things to try. Maybe I’ll find my passion or make a new friend who will change my life. Maybe I’ll even fall in love again. Can I ever love again? Trust again? I’m worried I am too jaded and traumatized. My heart feels as cold as a rock, and I am numb to emotions. I hate Oliver for this. But it doesn’t have to happen now, or even years from now. I’ve got my whole life.
On the plane to New York, I realize that the Oliver situation wasn’t about me. Maybe Oliver really did love me, just not the way I deserved to be loved. He just has a lot of issues that aren’t my fault. Maybe not even his fault. I’ve come to realize that even if Oliver gets sober, he will still be a damaged soul.
EPILOGUE
Miami, Florida
September 23, 2014
That was amazing!” I squeal. “That was, like . . . wow!”
“I told you, didn’t I?” says Luna. “Weren’t they great?”
“So great, I swear, they blew my mind! And the audience was like . .. OMG”
“I know! I told you it would turn you into a fan . . . hey, is this it?”
We stare at the door. It says Backstage. The guard looks at the passes around our necks, then opens it for us.
“Turn left and then make a quick right. You’ll see a sign that says Meet and Greet. Follow the arrow.”
“Thank you,” we say, then step inside. When the door closes, we start to squeal. “Is this really happening?” says Luna. “I think I’m gonna pass out.”
“That would suck, since this is your birthday gift.”
“I can’t believe my dad got the passes. I mean, is this for real?”
“Let’s find out,” I say. “Turn left, then make a sharp right.”
The meet-and-greet room is crazy with energy. Lucky girls with passes wait in line, everyone giddy like they’re on the biggest sugar high of their life.
We’re no different.
“Oh my God,” says Luna. The line is getting shorter, and the view clearer. “Look, there he is! Cary! OMG, he’s even hotter up close. And that’s Mykel, right next to him . . . and Rhy . . .”
I can’t lie, it’s pretty crazy. Half an hour ago, we were watching little versions of these guys on a stage, and now they’re so close you could say hi and they’d hear you.
I watch girls go up to take a picture with the group, then pick who they want for a one- on-one. The girls are freaking out, seeing the guys in person, and one almost faints during her group portrait.
“Uh oh,” says Lance, smiling. “We need another bottle of water over here!”
A security person takes the girl aside to sit down. “But my picture,” she says.
“Don’t worry,” says Lance. “You can come right back.”
You can tell he’s used to this, but he’s super sweet.
For the one-on-one pics, most of the girls choose Cary, which isn’t a surprise. That’s who Luna is going to choose. He’s her favorite, no question.
“What about you?” she asks. “Have you made up your mind?”
I don’t have a favorite. I wasn’t even a real fan until today, I just humored Luna. But after that concert, I can’t help but feel giddy. I mean, the whole experience was awesome. But picking one for a picture . . . it’s just so uncomfortable. Especially since I made fun of the group before
today.
Luna goes first, taking her picture with the guys. They chat with her as they pose, Mykel asking her name and age. They are super friendly and sweet; when they smile for the camera, it seems genuine, even though they’ve done it a billion times.
When Luna gets her picture with Cary, she almost cries.
“You’re next,” says the man at the front, practically pushing me toward the guys.
“Oh,” I say, suddenly feeling awkward. “Hi.”
This time, Cary asks my name. I tell him I’m Mallory. “What do you do for fun?” He asks me.
“I play golf,” I answer shyly.
He smiles at me with the dreamiest smile. Then the flash goes off, and it’s over.
I turn, and that same guy from the front of the line is in my face. “Who do you want for your one-on-one?”
“I don’t know.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy.
“What?” he says. “You don’t . . . know?”
By the sound of his voice, it’s obviously the wrong answer. I glance over to where the guys stand in front of separate backdrops, girls lined up for individual photos with them. I choose the guy with the shortest line.
“Him,” I say, motioning. “Oliver.”
The guy rushes me over, and it doesn’t take long. He’s not the most popular guy in the group, that I know. I’ve heard Luna discuss each one at length—like, for hours and hours— and she always says Oliver is kind of the group misfit. He’s just so serious, she says. He acts older than everyone. It’s like he takes himself so . . . seriously.
You don’t know that for sure, I always say. We don’t know what he’s really like, right? But watching the meet and greet from the line, I have to admit, he seemed different from the others. He does all the stuff they do— the pose, the smile, asking the girl’s name when it’s his turn—but it seems a little less natural. When he isn’t posing, the smile drops away. You wouldn’t know it unless you really watched, but . . . he looks like he doesn’t quite fit.
He’s my favorite, though I haven’t even admitted that to Luna. Seeing him perform live only confirmed that idea. All the guys were upbeat and high-energy; watching them sing and dance, you feel like they’re having fun. Oliver does all the same things and acts the same way, but sometimes it seems a little fake. But when he gets solos, he’s really himself—intense, making each note matter. Trying to wake you up with every lyric he sings, make you understand how he feels. When the guy asked who I want a picture with, I already knew. I just didn’t want to seem too eager. It doesn’t take long for my turn to arrive. I step up to him, feeling overwhelmed and shy. I can’t look in his face.
“Hi?” he says, like it is a question.
“Hi.”
It feels weird, like he’s waiting for something. Like he expects me to start freaking out, squealing about how much he’s changed my life.
That’s what all the other girls do.
Finally, he clears his throat.
“Yeah, so . . . I’m Oliver.”
I look him in the face for the first time. “Yeah,” I say, laughing. “I know.” Suddenly, we’re looking at each other, smiling. His is a real smile.
“I’m Mallory,” I say. “There’s no reason you should know that.”
He raises his eyebrows, like he’s surprised. “Maybe I should,” he says.
After that, everything goes quickly. The line guy starts motioning that we are taking too long, and Oliver leads me to the backdrop. “How should we pose?” he asks.
“You pick.”
There’s a sudden glint in his eyes, and he pulls me close. Before I even realize it’s happening, he’s put his cheek against mine. There’s a flash.
Then we separate, but he’s still looking at me.
“Mallory,” he says. “It was cool to meet you.”
“You remembered my name.”
“I know,” he says, looking a little surprised at himself. “Well, you’re that kind of girl, y’know?”
I look up. “You’re my favorite,” I say, turning away before he has a chance to respond.
Right after, Luna finds me. She babbles excitedly as we head for the exit, dissecting every single second of the meet and greet even though we are still in the room.
Right before I exit, I glance back. Oliver is watching me. I should be surprised, but I’m not. I knew he’d be looking forward, the same way I knew I’d look back.
COPYRIGHT © 2024 BY MAYA HENRY. EXCERPTED BY PERMISSION OF MARS BOOKS. NO PART OF THIS EXCERPT MAY BE REPRODUCED OR REPRINTED WITHOUT PERMISSION IN WRITING FROM THE PUBLISHER.
Moving Forward, by Maya Henry, is coming soon to Amazon.
