Silver linings

If this is actually true, and I have a hard time believing it is, CPS needs to step in immediately and get this baby to a safe family. Until the child is taken away from Lorne permanently there is no silver lining.

That being said, didn’t he already think he had a baby with Jamie or someone else? He believes anything he’s told, so until a paternity test is done I won’t believe any of this.

Assuming a condition of his release is to stay away from children.  Lorne was not likely present during the birth (which may explain why he wanted to go to Canada) and, depending on how the mother wants to proceed with this, the best he can hope for is supervised visitation.  "CPS" likely hasn't needed to get involved because Lorne isn't involved with the baby's life, and can't be until the conditions of his release are changed. 

Lorne is dumb, but not "I got a girl pregnant over the phone" dumb.  So actual sex and verifying false statements to a federal official would have had to happen for this to be some elaborate troll and no baby exists IMO. 

And somehow it is the same people who received Lorne’s three-way drawing.

I'd say that's a possibility, but Blueboy said he stalks her social media and there wasn't any indication she was pregnant.  Something is definitely "off" here, and I think it will come out soon, Lorne is too dumb to get away with anything

She's also 35+. Not exactly easy to conceive at that age.

You think he’s broke now, a baby and a relationship that’s bound to end very quickly will make him penniless.

I don't believe for a second that he got a girl pregananant. This guy couldn't get laid in a womens prison with a handful of pardons. It's either a lie, a scam, or most likely...This is all fake just like the last one.

I would think Lorne’s gross lifestyle has ravaged his already broken libido and sperm count. Excluding his possible ED and age factors, the constant drinking and smoking has likely ravaged his male health beyond the ability to reproduce.

These Crackhead Canucks are becoming the Lorne version of Chris Chan’s Idea Guys.

1. They befriend him, and gain his trawst by visiting him in person.

2. They proceed to film him and try to sell off their footage to the community. The plan fails.

3. They create a fake Wedding Registry for Walmart to make the community think Lorne and Preperette are getting hitched. The plan fails.

4. They tell Lorne to sell his trailer for 500x the land’s value. The plan fails.

5. They tell Lorne to come visit them by submitting a request to the court to let him into Canada under the guise of expanding his job market for driving trawk. The request is denied. The plan fails.

6. They tell Lorne to do it again, but this time with a claim that he has a Canadian bastard that he needs to care for…. This plan will fail.

This is unironically a decent possibility. This would be the greatest troll of all time if something like that were going on I think.

I have never hoped for a cuck/prepperette trolling arc so hard before. Can you imagine? Glorious.


Edit: As for a silver lining, one way or another at the end of this arc we will have permanent closure on the virgin debate. I think he is probably a virgin but I am not heavily invested in that, I really just want to know the truth. And for a long time it seemed like we would never know the truth. But if he really had a kid, well that solves that doesn't it? And if not, if he believes mail-coom can make a baby, I am going to say that proves virginity completely to my satisfaction.

Lorne lives in a shack on land which 15k took him over 10 years to pay off. He still has managed to get into 20-30k debt several times and cannot afford his bills. The only reason he exists is his paid land. A Apartment (1 bedroom) Outside of the city Centre in Somalia is $72.91 a month which is more expensive than his yearly land bills and he still can't afford it. Imagine having to rent a real apartment and pay for a child and a partners bills. Impossible.

Such confidence!