Item: Along Came Polly
Rating: 4
Author: Jeff Otto

Hi, Ben. Nice to meet you! Hey, I was just laughing when I was thinking of that scene from that movie you were in. Do you remember it? You played that neurotic, accident-prone guy who's always been looking for that perfect someone but never had the guts to ask her out. Then, you finally work up the courage, and on your first date, something really embarrassing happens in the bathroom. Do you remember that? That scene was hysterical! Hey, Ben. Do you even know which movie I'm talking about? Which movie is it? Do you know, do you know, do you know?

Along Came Polly is the pointless new film from writer/director John Hamburg, the writer of such past Ben Stiller classics as Zoolander and Meet the Parents. I should clarify my cynicism here and tell you that I did really enjoy those two films. They had new plots and clever jokes. They are perfect popcorn comedies. Why, however, for Hamburg's feature debut, he chose to do a virtual remake of Ben Stiller's far superior There's Something About Mary only seven years removed, I just cannot explain. What's that, Ben? Oh, right. Cash.

In the film, Stiller plays Reuben Feffer, a risk assessment manager for a large insurance firm. Boy, Feffer is sure a funny name. Because of his job, Feffer has become accustomed to playing it safe. He's getting married to the safe choice, Lisa Kramer (Debra Messing). After the ceremony, they embark on an exotic Caribbean honeymoon that appears perfect... at first. When the two come across a nude scuba-obsessed scuba instructor named Claude (a ridiculously ripped and hysterical Hank Azaria), Reuben inexplicably agrees to let Lisa go off for a solo scuba lesson. When Feffer goes to meet Lisa after the lesson, he winds up walking in on Claude and Lisa doing the nasty, flippers and all. If I've ruined anything for you here, you've obviously missed the trailer for this film, which gives away far more than I will in this review.

Heartbroken, Feffer returns home sans Lisa and tries to get his life back in order. His boss, Stan Indursky (Alec Baldwin) offers him vaguely comedic advice in the form of one liners like: "She's a dime store hooker and she always will be." Baldwin is funny in the role but it's nothing we haven't seen before. He could have phoned in his performance. Feffer's other friend, Sandy Lyle, is played to effortlessly brilliant comedic mastery by Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Is there nothing this guy cannot do? Lyle is known for a film role he played in a popular Breakfast Club-type eighties film called Crocodile Tears. Lyle encourages Feffer to get back out there and start over. Feffer soon takes Sandy's advice when he runs into a friend from the past, hottie Polly Prince (Jennifer Aniston). Yes, that's Polly Prince, another absurd but funny name. Now Feffer must work up the guts to ask out Polly and the adventure begins from here. As the tagline on the posters lamely states, "For the most cautious man on earth, life is about to get interesting."

Stiller and Aniston in *Along Came Polly*

Along Came Polly is a film that insults the intelligence of its audience. It asks its audience to forget that they've already seen virtually the same film only a few years prior, or at least hopes you're young enough that maybe you've never heard of Something About Mary. With that said, Polly is not a bad film. It does have funny moments and I did laugh out loud a few times through the course of the film. Mostly at the hysterical Hoffman, who's brilliant as a washed up Eighties actor living in the past.

Aniston is very cute in the movie and she and Stiller have decent chemistry. The problem here is unoriginality to an almost unwatchable degree. I think we've all come to accept that when a certain type of film gets popular Hollywood usually follows suit with a series of copycat films. There's the reign of disaster flicks a few years ago or the current trend of car-racing (and now bike-racing) films. In fact, I had to suffer through the latest in that series, Torque, this past weekend. But never have I seen a copycat film made by many of the same people who made the original. Stiller was the star of both films. Both films have a humiliating bathroom scene on a first date. Yes, the jokes are different, but the intent of the scene is exactly the same. You can't even tell Ben Stiller's character in this film from the character he played in Mary. I could go on, but you get the picture.

I can only hope that the American public rejects Along Came Polly and instead chooses to check out the new DVD edition of There's Something About Mary. It's cheaper and it's a better film. The more we support this type of blatant unoriginality in our movie-going experiences, the more we encourage Mr. Stiller to release hysterical new comedies where he's an accident prone neurotic funnyman dating Renee Zellweger or, god forbid, J-Lo.

There are two saving graces in the film, in the form of Hank Azaria and Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Both have small, funny parts and I can't figure out why either one is in this film. Maybe they hope that by playing a small part in a comedy like this, they can eventually land a lead role in a better, more original comedy.

Well, I can dream, can't I?