The last two weekends I got some culture.

Kinda.

Years ago I watched Zeffirelli's classic film adaptation of Romeo and Juliet (1968) and remembered it being quite good. Rather than seeing it by force in a classroom, I watched it by choice. When it showed up on streaming I decided I should see it again before it left. Once again, I was not disappointed. While I don’t exactly seek out Shakespeare adaptations and therefore haven’t seen many, I think it’s safe to say Zeffirelli’s is the most faithful.

Even if the Moonlighting episode “Atomic Shakespeare” almost ruined it for me.

By casting age-appropriate actors (even if he asked them to do age-inappropriate things in front of the camera) and carefully recreating the period, Zeffirelli fully realized the tale of woe. That I have some experience with memorizing and performing Shakespeare certainly helped me follow along, but even if the dialog is a muddle to you, it’s a visual and heartfelt masterpiece. If you can set aside any resentment towards having the play forced upon you, and any cynicism about two overdramatic teenagers, the movie will sweep you away.

I even got a little emotional in the film’s final moments.

Then last weekend I put on the new movie Anyone But You, which I didn’t realize is a bastardization of Much Ado About Nothing (calling it a modern day adaptation or reinterpretation is too kind). Despite the Shakespeare graffiti early the film and the characters’ names (Bea and Ben), I didn’t catch the connection until Ben finds himself overhearing a staged conversation between two men trying to inspire in him some affection for Bea.

Only The Bard would think of that.

Despite the movie’s surprising popularity, it’s not good. At first I was going along with the beautiful people in an exotic place doing the exciting thing (falling in love), and I appreciated the Shakespearian influence. But as the film went on I started souring on it. Bea and Ben are despicable. She’s crass and unladylike. He’s the butt of every joke, emasculated at every turn, and the only one to apologize when she did the exact same things to him. 

Everyone around them is a profane, pot-smoking, progressive.

Apparently I’m supposed to root for Bea and Ben because they’re beautiful? Well, as Shakespeare’s contemporary Sir Thomas Overbury observed, what they’ve got is only skin deep. Underneath, they aren’t the sort of people with whom I’d want to align myself. The only thing Anyone But You has going for it is the remaining shreds of Shakespeare and Sydney Sweeney’s, er, assets. 

The only emotion I felt at the end was disappointment.

However, given the movie’s success and all the buzz (most of it negative) about a new stage production of Romeo and Juliet, we should probably expect to see more Shakespeare on screen very soon. And since Hollywood always takes the wrong lessons, it’ll probably just as forgettable and stupid as Anyone But You, rather than as transportive as Romeo and Juliet. 

Or hilarious as “Atomic Shakespeare.”

When it comes to the cultural hearth, Jerry Seinfeld might know a thing or two.

While I was never devotee of his eponymous sitcom, I remember the moment it had in the zeitgeist. Its final episode was a source of speculation for weeks before it aired. I just listened to the radio and my dad’s customers and I knew it was a big deal. Years later, when Seinfeld arrived on Netflix, that was a big deal and it still shows up in list of trending shows. 

We used to be a country with a hearth, where we gathered to watch the same thing.

We used to be a country with a watercooler, where we gathered to talk about it.

Now that’s all gone, and Jerry knows it. Recently he told Variety, “Film doesn’t occupy the pinnacle in the social, cultural hierarchy that it did for most of our lives. When a movie came out, if it was good, we all went to see it. We all discussed it. We quoted lines and scenes we liked. Now we’re walking through a fire hose of water, just trying to see.”

The fire hose is content, throwing up a mist of white noise that’s here now and gone in a moment.

Last week I talked about how I try to avoid “content” and only give my time to things of lasting value (unless they really, really entertain me). A show or movie that captures the entire country is an extremely rare thing now, and what I hate the most is that it’s usually because it’s bad. I listen to and watch too much pop culture commentary (speaking of effervescent noise) and nothing irritates me more than a YouTuber crowing about something offensively bad on the horizon.

They’ll get so many views trashing it.

And what’s going on in Hollywood? Seinfeld says, “Depression? Malaise? I would say confusion. Disorientation replaced the movie business… Everyone I know in show business, every day, is going, ‘What’s going on? How do you do this? What are we supposed to do now?'” They’ve lost sight of the target (middle America, in my not-so-humble opinion) and are shooting blind from their ivory towers of wokeness.

The fog of the culture war. 

Ironically, the reason for his interview is that Seinfeld has a new Netflix movie coming out. I suspect he sees the ship sinking and is enjoying one last drink now that the iceberg has hit, knowing that he’s got a reservation of the life raft. “I’ve done enough stuff that I have my own thing, which is more valuable than it’s ever been.” He knows darn well no one will remember this movie a few weeks after it hits the streamer, but that he’ll always have his sitcom and stand-up comedy.

Good for him. What about the rest of us?

Seinfeld notes, “... if you have good craft and craftsmanship, you’re kind of impervious to the whims of the industry.” Here he’s speaking in the context of stand-up, but I think it applies to anyone and anything. We’ve all been created in the image of God, and God is a creator, therefore we must create more than we consume. And the beauty of it is, when we’re creating we tend to encounter like-minded creators. 

Want a cultural hearth and watercooler? Start doing something and you’ll find it, though it be small.

Do it well and be impervious to the whims of the industry.

Well, I finally did it. I finally watched a Sir Roger Moore James Bond movie.

Up until this point, I’d seen at least one movie with all of the other actors (even George’s—twice!). For whatever reason, though, something about Moore had me dragging my feet. Maybe I just didn’t think he looked like a Bond, or maybe it’s his era’s reputation for being too silly and lingering too long, and maybe it’s simply because I’m not a huge fan of the character or franchise in general. Nothing against the guy. I just know that the movies and novels are very hit and miss.

The Spy Who Loved Me (the movie) is a hit.

Apparently Ian Fleming was ashamed of the novel, and Albert Broccoli wasn’t crazy about it either, as I understand that the movie only uses the title and nothing of the plot. That’s obviously for the best, as Moore says it’s his favorite movie from his era and fans seem to agree. So when it arrived on Max awhile back, I decided to make it the first of his movies I’d watch. And I wasn’t disappointed.

Far from it.

In the opening scene they do a clever fakeout, making the audience wonder if Bond has been replaced with a different actor. Then it turns out that the guy in bed with the brunette isn’t the spy to whom we should be paying attention. No, it’s the girl. When we finally see Bond, he’s also in bed with his latest conquest. Phew! All is well with the world. Except it’s not, because in a matter of minutes he’s skiing down a mountain with people shooting him.

No, wait. All is still well. If that wasn’t happening something would be wrong.

I’ve got to say, the chase and cliff jump (which must be seen) thrilled me far more than Tom Cruise’s recent stunt. When I watched Dead Reckoning I almost forgot to look up from my phone when the big moment came. Watching Bond soaring through the air literally gave me chills. Another moment that caused a visceral reaction was when Jaws appeared in Amasova’s room.

It takes a lot to make feel something in a movie.

The story itself plays with the formula some. Bond has to team up with the KGB to stop a mutual enemy, which must have seemed even more radical at the time than it does now. But all in all, spy movies haven’t changed much. Even now, it’s always about retaking some advanced tech before a megalomanic can use it to rule the world. We don’t object, though, because we’re here for the spectacle. I loved the scene at the pyramids, the chase with the Lotus Esprit (a car I’ve long admired), and the bombastic final scene.

Sure, it has its problems.

Bond’s use of women as playthings sometimes makes me feel queasy and that happens here. The final battle, while fun, also feels formulaic. And at times it gets dangerously close to the silliness that kept me from watching Moore’s movies to begin with. But it never crosses the line, even with a henchman like Jaws, who could have been created for a Dick Tracy comic. At the same time, Bond should be pulpy, occasionally predictable, and face outlandish characters.

He’s kinda outlandish himself.

After watching The Spy Who Loved Me, so soon after Dead Reckoning, and having seen many other espionage action movies, I think it’s safe to say… Nobody does it better.