WIBTAH if I renege on my offer to swap shifts with my coworker? : r/AITAH Skip to main content

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this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here


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WIBTAH if I renege on my offer to swap shifts with my coworker?

Coworker asked me to swap night shifts (we all have to do one night shift per week). I initially said no because that night shift was only two days after my regular night shift, and I didn't want two night shifts with only one day's break in between. Yes this would mean that I wouldn't have to do any night shifts next week, but I'd rather do one shift per week, instead of two in one week and none the next week.

There were a few other people on the team he should have asked first (people whose shifts are further away, so the swap wouldn't have been as difficult on them). He claimed that he already asked them and they said no.

I also just did not want to help this guy period. He has repeatedly agreed to do work then pushed it on me at the last minute. He's tried to take credit for my work. He's needy, whiny, clingy, and undependable.

I was going to tell him too bad, I can't help you. But then I realized that my boss would probably just make me swap anyway - we absolutely need to have someone cover the night shift each day. And if my asshole coworker couldn't cover his shift, then the boss would make somebody else do it. I figured either I agree to swap now, or the boss comes along and makes me swap anyway.

But after thinking about it for a few days, I think I should have stuck my ground. I shouldn't have conceded so easily, I should have made our boss get involved and ask me to swap.

I'm considering reneging and saying "Actually I can't cover your shift, find someone else to do it", just so I can stop feeling so angry at myself. My reasoning will be "it was originally your shift, so finding a replacement is your responsibility." But I'm pretty sure I'll be considered the unreasonable one in this case. WIBTAH?

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Your coworker will honestly tell your boss that you had agreed to switch shifts and then a few days later changed your mind without finding a replacement… he’ll look responsible and respectful but you not so much.

Next time just say no…

u/Ready_Heron_5024 avatar

You're probably right...I wanted to say no but I thought "what's the point if my boss will make me swap anyway? The outcome will be the same". But maybe next time if things are turning out unfairly for me anyway, I should go out kicking and screaming, instead of letting other people walk all over me.

Try a firm “I am sorry but I am busy. I can not work that shift”

If your boss pushes it go to HR . Unfortunately if you have a history of giving in after being asked a couple times, people stop taking your first “no” seriously.

After a couple times of not changing your “no” people will adjust but it’s a hard habit to break.

u/Ready_Heron_5024 avatar

Yup exactly. I just have to be on guard the next time this happens - this sort of thing doesn't happen all the time ofc, so I don't really get to "practice" standing up for myself.

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u/doug5209 avatar

YTA, if you agreed to switch and then go back on your word without a good reason, but you would have been perfectly within your rights to never agree to the switch in the first place.

u/Ready_Heron_5024 avatar

Yeah you're probably right. I just feel angry at myself because this guy has "lawful evil" screwed me over a bunch of times and I want to get back at him, I don't want him to win or profit at my expense again.

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