Lindsey Buckingham Was So Afraid To Perform One Song
Lindsey Buckingham live in 2015 - TheLeapTV / Youtube
When Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nicks joined Fleetwood Mac in 1974, the band’s sound underwent a transformative shift, largely influenced by Buckingham’s songwriting. It didn’t take long for songs like “Go Your Own Way,” “Never Going Back,” “Tusk,” and the Tango in the Night hit “Big Love” to solidify Buckingham’s position as a pivotal creative force within Fleetwood Mac. This was a time of change for the band, following the departure of Bob Weston, Dave Walker, and Bob Welch. The arrival of Nicks and Buckingham infused new life into Fleetwood Mac, propelling their 1975 album to the top of the Billboard 200, thanks to tracks like Buckingham’s “Monday Morning” and Nicks’ captivating “Rhiannon” and “Landslide.”
The Haunting Depth of “I’m So Afraid”
However, not all of Buckingham’s contributions exuded the same sense of poetic optimism or romantic longing oft-associated with these earlier tracks. Nestled at the end of the album, “I’m So Afraid” stands in stark contrast, encapsulating a profound sense of inner turmoil and dread. The song is marked by its concise verses that are repeated throughout, culminating in an evocative guitar solo that encapsulates the essence of fear and despair. This song spirals into a darker place, with Buckingham voicing a sense of being hopelessly caught in a painful cycle of fear and isolation. The poignant lyrics paint a vivid picture of struggle and desolation: “I been alone / All the years / So many ways to count the tears / I never change / I never will / I’m so afraid the way I feel. Days when the rain and the sun are gone / Black as night / Agony’s torn at my heart too long / So afraid / Slip and I fall and I die.”
Originally, “I’m So Afraid” was crafted during a period when Buckingham was battling mononucleosis. This health ordeal and emotional weight of the song led to a prolonged period of reluctance, where Buckingham labored over the decision to perform it live, ultimately taking four years to bring it to the stage. The song’s complexity went beyond its somber lyrics; Mick Fleetwood, in his 2014 memoir Play On: Now, Then & Fleetwood Mac: The Autobiography, reflects on the intricate harmony of the guitar parts, describing them as “a virtual orchestra unto themselves,” underscoring the craftsmanship and emotional depth embedded in its composition.
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The Live Challenge and Emotional Resonance of “I’m So Afraid”
Addressing the challenges of performing “I’m So Afraid” live, Buckingham in a 2021 interview shared insights into the physical and emotional demands the song imposes. He remarked, “It’s not that it’s difficult,” clarifying the distinction between technical difficulty and the taxing nature of delivering the song’s intense emotional and musical journey night after night. The performance of “I’m So Afraid” involves a lengthy guitar solo, a hallmark of Buckingham’s live shows, which requires not just technical skill but also a deep emotional investment to authentically convey the song’s essence.
The song “I’m So Afraid” continues to be a tribute to Lindsey Buckingham’s talent as a singer and songwriter. Despite its gloominess, the song demonstrates Buckingham’s talent for turning deeply held anxieties and vulnerabilities into an engrossing musical experience. Its stirring words and the ethereally exquisite guitar work serve as a poignant reminder of the ability of music to express the indescribable facets of human experience.
