I'm struggling to reconcile the glowing reviews of Hawtrey's with my recent experience of Sunday lunch here. I dine out regularly - from high street chains, to the fine dining end of the spectrum - and it's been a long time since I've eaten in...a place that promises so much, yet delivers so little. I have to wonder if the reviewers giving 5 out of 5 here are just staff members masquerading as real life punters.
My first gripe was that while the food menus were brought to the table promptly, there was a palpable look of surprise at the concept my wife and I might want to order any wine. The wine list duly fetched, we perused drink options while our food order was taken ...but then the waiter high-tailed it before we could give him the wine order too.
Cue 5 minutes of non-attention as we hoped someone would come back to take our drinks order. Giving up, I headed to the bar located immediately outside the restaurant entrance to ask for a bottle of white. "You're only allowed to order wine if you're dining in the restaurant," came the response. I pointed out that I was dining in the restaurant, as they could clearly see, and asked them to send someone in.
When the bottle of white we ordered turned up, it was warm. Straight off the store cupboard shelf I'd say. I told the waiter I couldn't drink it like this, but was happy to let it sit in an ice bucket until it was drinkable. Despite this, he still insisted on trying to pour us each a measure of warm wine. With our hands covering our wine glasses, he eventually backed down.
Sadly, the quality of the 3 course lunch did not make up for the comedy service.
The deep fried crab-shaped starter tasted just like ...well, a deep fried crab-shaped thing. The chicken ballotine main was marginally better, but still bland. And my cheese course (£3.50 supplement, on top of £25 for three courses) was a selection of different coloured and textured items, that all tasted of nothing in particular.
Hawtrey's is not the fine dining establishment it masquerades as. Sunday lunch for two with (warm) wine left me just shy of £100. I have eaten twice as well, for half as much, hundreds of times in recent years.
No amount of nice uniforms, white-gloved waiters and politeness (for all their faults, they are extremely polite) can make up for the fact that Hawtrey's has ideas way above its station, and is populated by staff who'd have Gordon Ramsay's temples bulging with fury, if ever he fancied parachuting in to fix things.More