Funny Cop Sayings: A Collection of Humorous Police Quips

I didn’t choose the badge, the badge chose me.

Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs commit any crimes.

Running from the police only works in movies, trust me!

I fight crime, what’s your superpower?

Coffee by day, justice by night.

I’m a cop, not a magician – but I can see straight through your lies.

If there’s a doughnut in my hand, it’s been a rough day at the precinct.

Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my siren.

Call me a policeman, because I can’t resist sprinkling ‘donut’ jokes.

Who needs a knight in shining armor when you’ve got a cop in a snazzy uniform?

Becoming a police officer: Because superheroes were too mainstream.

I’m not just a cop, I’m a people wrangler.

Keep calm and let the cop handle it.

Behind every successful police officer, there’s a substantial amount of coffee.

Policing – When your workplace is anywhere but a desk.

Sure, I?m a cop. But on the bright side, I?m a cop with really cool handcuffs.

You might run fast, but remember, the radio waves are faster.

I may be a police officer, but even I can’t stop the crime that is your fashion sense.

You have the right to remain silent, but I doubt you have the ability!

To be a cop, you have to be half detective, half stand-up comedian.

I didn’t choose the cop life, the cop life chose me.

Crime doesn’t pay… but the hours are good.

A day without paperwork is like a cop without a donut.

I wasn’t speeding… I was qualifying for a police chase.

Life is short – drive fast, take chances.

You think your job is tough? Try wearing a bulletproof vest at work.

Catch me if you can, said the crime to the cop.

Dare devil by day, crime fighter by night.

If I had a penny for every time I heard ‘But, I didn’t do it’, I’d be the richest cop.

We never sleep, the bad guys do.

People call me a cop because guardian angel is not an official job title.

A citizen sees what they want to see, a cop sees what’s there.

Being a cop is more than a job, it?s survival of the wittiest.

Sleep well, your local cop is on the neighborhood watch.

To err is human, to arrest is divine.

A cop?s life is like a box of chocolates, never know what trouble you?re gonna get.

You know you’re a cop when ‘normal’ people look weird to you.

My idea of a balanced diet is a donut in each hand.

I didn’t choose the cop life, the cop life chose me.

To protect and serve… and look good doing it.

I’ve got two tools – my right hand and my left hand.

Running from the police just means you’ll be tired when I catch you.

I’m not a magician but I can make you disappear.

You might outrun my cruiser, but you can’t outrun my radio.

Talk slow, think fast.

Cops: We put the ‘laughter’ in ‘manslaughter’.

My nightstick has a dark sense of humor.

Don’t play hard to get, you’ll get caught.

I’m the guy you paid for with your taxes – you’re welcome.

Being a good cop is not a crime.

If you think it’s tough being a cop, try being a cop’s kid.

I’m the po-lice, I don’t run!

You have the right to remain silent, but I doubt you will.

It’s not a ‘uniform’, it’s my fashion statement.

It’s all fun and games until the cops show up.

Justice doesn’t have a snooze button.

I don’t stop crime, I just reduce the odds.

Ever tried to outwit a cop? Good luck with that.