- Denzel Washington and his wife Pauletta have one of the most enduring marriages in Hollywood, having been together for 36 years this month.
- The couple first met in 1977, on the set of the TV movie Wilma.
- "She did the heavy lifting" Denzel has said, crediting Pauletta with making their marriage work.
It's notoriously difficult to make a marriage last in Hollywood (looking at you for inspo, Rita and Tom) but Denzel Washington and his actress wife Pauletta are a true inspiration, having been together for 36 years. The couple celebrated that 36-year milestone on June 25. Although they've generally kept things private over the years, both have occasionally shared insights into what makes their marriage so strong.
Here's a few key things to know about Pauletta, and her relationship with Denzel.
Pauletta and Denzel met at work.
Pauletta Pearson, 68 and Denzel Washington, 64 first met in 1977, on the set of the TV movie Wilma, and began dating shortly afterwards. Denzel described their first date in a Valentine's Day (!) interview with Jimmy Kimmel and more recently recalled their very first meeting on Live with Kelly and Ryan. "I met her then, but I didn't meet her then," he explained of their time on the set. "I saw her then."
About a year later, Denzel went on to explain, he was at a party where Pauletta also happened to be. "I had talked at that party about going to see a play. I went to see the play, and at intermission the lights came up and she was sitting [there]. She said she just happened to go see the play... I'm getting in trouble as I speak!"
While Denzel has since become an A-list star, Pauletta has also continued to forge an acting career in her own right, appearing in movies including the Oscar-nominated Philadelphia (1993) and Spike Lee's 2017 TV series She's Gotta Have It.
Pauletta turned down Denzel's proposal...twice!
The third time really is the charm! In a hilarious 2013 interview with Access Hollywood, the couple jokingly sparred about how many times Denzel proposed before finally getting a yes. Denzel's memory was that it was only once, but Pauletta set him straight. It was twice.
"Why was it twice? Why would I have to ask again?" wondered a bewildered Denzel. "Because I said no!" Pauletta replied. "You heard it here first!" Denzel then joked. "She turned me down, she said no. And since it was three times, that means she turned me down twice." The couple did finally get married on June 25, 1983.
Denzel and Pauletta's children are also rising stars in the film business.
The couple has four children together: their eldest son, John David, 34, is an actor and recently starred in Spike Lee's Oscar-nominated BlacKkKlansman. Their older daughter Katia, 30, is also an actress, while twins Olivia and Malcolm, 28, are starting their own careers in showbiz, having studied filmmaking and acting respectively.
The couple renewed their vows in 1995.
In 1995, Pauletta and Denzel renewed their vows in South Africa, in a ceremony officiated by Desmond Tutu. Let's hope the couple got to enjoy the catering during the celebration because Denzel revealed to Kimmel that they didn't get a chance to eat a thing at their own wedding "We were shaking so many hands, taking pictures, [and] they ran out of food!" he recalled. "We went to the, whatever the diner was we ended up at! We had, like, eggs or something." Honestly, kind of romantic?
Pauletta has a speciality in the kitchen.
In fact, she has more than one, but Denzel's only opened up about one of them. “She has a few [specialties]," he told People. "I’ve been eating her curry chicken since I’ve known her. I used to make it too, but not as good as hers.” The magazine did try to find out if Denzel has a speciality of his own, but he quickly shut that down: "No, let’s not go there. I don’t want to get caught lying,” he joked.
Pauletta and Denzel both say there's no one secret to making a marriage last.
Asked for his key to a happy marriage, Denzel recently joked to People: "I do what I’m told. I keep my mouth shut!" But the actor later got more contemplative about what had really held he and Pauletta together over the years, and gave his wife a huge amount of the credit. "What pops into my head: security, food, a beautiful home," he said. "The difference between a house and a home, it’s a big difference. You can buy a house, but that doesn’t make it a home—and not to say a man can’t make a home a home, but my wife has made our house a home, and raised these beautiful kids, and protected them and sacrificed for them. She did the heavy lifting.”
Though Pauletta tends to be tight-lipped about her personal life, she has opened up to The Root about the experience of being "the strong woman behind that powerful man." Following on from a previous answer about former First Lady Michelle Obama, Pauletta noted that, "any woman behind an influential man, has always been there. Maybe the public, and the media, is now saying we recognize you, but take it from me, I've been on the scene a long time."
She went on to acknowledge that Denzel had been far more in the public eye than she had, but it had made no difference to their connection with each other. "When Denzel first started, I was right there, but there was no focus on me. But there's been no less presence in his life and in my life than now. As you climb, you grow deeper in the foundation, so it makes our foundation deeper."
In a 2010 interview with The Guardian, Denzel said: "There is no secret to the perfect marriage. I have been married 27 years to Pauletta. Everybody has their ups and downs; we've had ours. It's hard work, you know. But we made a commitment. A spiritual foundation helps everything—marriage, work, peace of mind."
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Emma Dibdin is a freelance writer based in Los Angeles who writes about culture, mental health, and true crime. She loves owls, hates cilantro, and can find the queer subtext in literally anything.
