Make Lady Gaga's meat dress - the perfect Halloween costume

The New York Times reckons there are only two Halloween costumes to be seen in this year: an oil-stained BP uniform or Lady Gaga's meat dress. The former is pretty easy to cobble together – a green jumpsuit and something liquidy and black should do it. The latter is not so straightforward …

Since G2 sent me to the Royal College of Surgeons to learn how to stitch up wounds, you'd think I'd be a dab hand at knocking up a Gaga dress tutorial. But since my vegetarian editor wasn't so happy about me recommending actual meat (and as there is literally no bacon-print fabric to be found anywhere on the internet), I'm afraid to say I came up short.

Enter Emma Toft, a special effects costume maker. Having working on films such as Harry Potter, John Carter of Mars, Batman Begins and, currently, the new X-Men movie, she's in a far better position than me to advise how best to replicate that tasty-looking meaty dress without having to stink like, well, sweaty old meat.

So here's how she'd do it. And it's much easier than you'd think, really. Just splash on a few streaks of paint and have a go at a bit of cut-and-paste. None of the materials she recommends are too specialist – you can pick them up in your local art store – and if you start this tonight, your costume will be ready for the weekend.

What you need

A meat-coloured (think dark red) fabric. Cotton or calico works best. Lycra is good too, although much harder to paint. Two metres should cover a woman of medium height and build
A photo of the Gaga dress/random images of streaky meat
White, red and black acrylic paint
Paintbrushes
Paint pots or similar
Latex paint (optional, although it does give your fake meat a certain meaty shine)
Cling film/plastic
Talcum powder
Scissors
Dress you don't want to wear again (a cheapo one from a charity shop will do)
Pins
Copydex glue
String
Headband

What to do

1. Prepare the fabric

Water down a blob of white acrylic paint and, starting in one corner, paint a few streaks on to the fabric. Water down small amounts of the red and the black too, and add different coloured streaks as you go. Use your Gaga meat dress/streaky meat images as inspiration. Mix up different strengths of the paint and use these as well - different hues will give the appearance of depth and texture (although avoid watering it down too much, as it will just soak the fabric). Use a thin paintbrush, as the thinner the lines, the more realistic the fabric will look. Cover the whole piece of material with sections of streaks.

2. Add the latex

In a well-ventilated room (or, even better, outside), lay your fabric on a piece of cling film or industrial plastic – this protects your work surface – and paint it with a layer of latex. This makes it a little thicker, gives it a slight yellow tinge and makes it look nice and shiny and meaty. Leave it to dry. Once completely dry, brush talcum powder over the front of it – the latex has a habit of sticking to itself – and, as you peel it off the cling film, add talcum powder to the back too.

3. Put the dress together

You're going to cut pieces of fabric and glue them to your dress. How big the pieces are depends on how much of yourself you want to cover. Cut smaller shapes for the torso section and slightly larger and longer ones for the skirt section. Pin them all over the dress, overlapping them to give it that lovely draped meat effect. Keep looking at the Gaga dress if you want a proper replica (remember, it's uber-short at the front).

Try the dress on and readjust pieces if necessary. Once you're happy, glue the pieces on using Copydex. Don't use this like ordinary glue; instead, paint a thin layer on to both pieces, leave the glue to go almost clear (you can use a hairdryer to help it along), then push the pieces together. When you've glued everything on, cut the hem of the original dress so that it's hidden under the meat pieces.

4. Add the finishing touches

Cut a piece of fabric into the shape of Gaga's headpiece, then use Copydex glue to stick it to your hair band. Then, just before you're ready to go out, slip on a pair of shoes and wind strips of the meaty fabric around each foot, securing with plenty of string.

You can see more of Emma's film work at emmatoft.co.uk, and see the crafting she does in her spare time at thefastener.co.uk.