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Lovelines

1984

They're the Two Hottest Tickets in a Red-Hot Battle of the Bands ... And Now They've Got the Hots for Each Other

Greed, lust, dirty tricks and bloody fist fights... All those things that make life worth living. When Piper and Rick, the two hottest properties in the Battle of the Bands want to make it, only one thing stands in their way. They're from opposing High Schools. And Malibu High's 6'6" muscle-bound monster Godzilla is going to do everything and anything stop his sweet little sister getting it on with some jerk from the Coldwater Canyon High. When all else fails, only Lovelines answering service can keep them together.

Greg Bradford Mary Beth Evans Don Michael Paul Tammy Taylor Stacey Toten Robert DeLapp Todd Bryant Frank Zagarino Michael Winslow Jonna Lee Robin Watkins Claudia Cowan Lynn Cartwright Albert Szabo David Jolliffe Miguel Ferrer Sherri Stoner Sarah Buxton Joyce Jameson Shecky Greene Gary Morgan Marguerite Kimberley Kelley Jean Brower Michael Lloyd Paul Valentine Conrad E. Palmisano Robert Fiacco James 'Poorman' Trenton Ernest Robinson Show All… Aimée Eccles

Alternative Titles

Party-vonal, A Linha do Amor

Genre

Comedy

Theatrical

02 Nov 1984

USAR

USA

02 Nov 1984

TheatricalR

93 mins More at IMDb TMDb Report this page

Popular reviews

Review by pd187 ★★★½

i have no idea what the fuck this movie is about but its goofy & likable & theres almost always something cool going on, inc. multiple breakdancing montages. the kinda tape ill put on again just for a good mood. what are the "lovelines" michael winslow (POLICE ACADEMY 1-7, NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ROBODOC) is running between high schools engaged in a sexual prank war? is he some kinda pervert? blonde club angels & malibu hunks bone in the new wave zone, miguel ferrer is a punk rocker and the guy from robot wars gets knocked out. star greg bradford has an impressive purity of credits: letterboxd.com/actor/greg-bradford/ & its wall-to-wall jams, mostly big teenage power ballads and songs that kinda sound like chromeo, ending on a big costume party with michael winslow dressed as rhett butler saying "frankly my dear (deer?) i dont give a lamb" (???) and they play the john williams raiders of the lost ark theme
Review by Geoffrey Broomer ½

"Yeah! ...How do we kill the whole high school?"
-Frank Zagarino asks the question we're all thinking.
Viewed for an early appearance of my favourite Nu Image hero, Lovelines reminded me that I only enjoy teen romcoms when there are knife wielding maniacs involved. Painfully clichéd, the film deals with a battle of the bands in which rival high school singers find love (our teens are Soap Queen Mary Beth Evans, 23, and Let's Do It's Greg Bradford, 29 - their final duet is named Defining Gravity...). These elderly innocents don't look especially young for their actual ages, and serve to underline the hopelessly generic premise. The title comes from a hotline set up by an event promoter played by…
Review by Kevin_Robbins ★★

I recently watched Lovelines (1984) on Tubi. The storyline follows two rival high schools who can’t stand each other and compete heavily in everything from sports to battle of the bands. When a guy from one school falls in love with a girl from his rival, things get Harry between friends and family. Can the budding couple overcome the obstacles put in front of them and “make it?”
This picture is directed by Rodney Amateau (The Garbage Pail Kids Movie) and stars Greg Bradford (Zapped!), Michael Winslow (Police Academy), Mary Beth Evans (Days of Our Lives) and Miguel Ferrer (Traffic).
This has a strong nostalgic 80s feel to it with its cheesy brand of comedy and fun attire, hairstyles and…
Review by Curtis ★★ 2

I'm not sure what this is.
Lovelines is either one of the most generic teen comedies to trickle out of the 1980's, or an amazing parody of teen comedies, poking at tropes that were still cooling when it was made.
The core story here is the relationship between Piper and Rick, lead singers of dueling rock groups, due to play in the Big Battle of the Bands® and bring honor to one of their warring high schools. Each has an entourage of characters, creating mischief and complicating the plot, plus Piper's brother wants to kill Rick.
Above all this, Michael Winslow runs some sort of impossible phone network which holds this story together, for reasons I can't begin to comprehend.…
Review by cblaze ★½ 2

Scavenger Hunt #13 - Task #1. The most obscure/underseen film you can get your hands on.
At the time of me writing this only 24 people have logged this film as watched on Letterboxd... And now I know why.
FuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucK!
What the fuck did I just waste my time watching? Why was I stone sober? I still have half a bottle of Tito's... Fuck. I'm seriously at a loss for fucking words... Put in an effort, cblaze! Literally no one is counting on you!!
Michael Winslow (from the Police Academy movies) runs a phone service that you can call and he'll have his women call someone else for you... Fuck! I tried! Fuck this movie and all it's many fucking…
Review by C.A. DeStefanis ★★

Just a heaping shot of pure uncut 80s. It's not particularly good and dumber than a sack of hammers, however plenty of familiar faces, cheesy pop music and some nice SoCal locations make this one tolerable.
If you're anything like me and spent your formative years hunkered down in front of a console TV consuming every bit of obscure junk HBO and Cinemax threw my way, films like Lovelines are a guilty pleasure.
If this genre isn't your jam you can probably skip this one. It's a Frankenstein's monster of parts from better comedies with zero original ideas of it's own. A film like this can make Porky's, a bad 80s sex comedy in it's own rite, seem like The Godfather by comparison.
Review by 𝒎𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒂 ★★★

There’s plenty of mischief, school rivalries, a battle of the bands, romance montages, breakdancing, and a costume party. How much more 80s can it get?
Part of my From 2024 to 1984, A Month of Time Travel 🕰️ list.
Review by Kendra ★★★ 1

what’s a word for when movies use 80s bikini t&a as a cover for the actual homoeroticism taking place? is it ‘Lovelines’?
Review by Pag Erity ★★★

michael winslow plays a high school phone operator ? and theres some meatheads and a battle of the bands ?? i guess thats the premise?
Review by ChenVideo ★★½ 1

Beaucoup trop de shenanigans et trop peu de battle of the band.
Mais bravo au punk band avec Miguel Ferrer au drum.
EDIT: Aussi, à la fin, les deux bands sont ex aequo, faque ils font une toune à deux bands sans jamais avoir pratiqué quoi que ce soit. Pour avoir déjà fait une toune à deux bands (ou du moins essayé) SAVEZ-VOUS QUE LA LOGISTIQUE EST COMPLIQUÉ QUEUL CRISSE.
Review by Michael J. Epstein

This just proves that these movies are unparodyable. Michael Winslow is always rad, but stay for Miguel Ferrer as a punk, sweet battle-of-the-bands time filler, Sarah Buxton's eyes, and more feathered hair than legally permitted at the time.
For real though, this shit is bumpin': www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwdESR2iN1Y
Review by Shawn Green ★

An 80’s sex comedy as created by a 10 year old with ADHD.

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Lovelines

Synopsis

They're the Two Hottest Tickets in a Red-Hot Battle of the Bands ... And Now They've Got the Hots for Each Other

Cast

Director

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Writers

Story

Casting

Editors

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Assistant Directors

Lighting

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Alternative Titles

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Releases by Date

Theatrical

02 Nov 1984

Releases by Country

USA

02 Nov 1984

Popular reviews

Where to watch

Lovelines

Synopsis

They're the Two Hottest Tickets in a Red-Hot Battle of the Bands ... And Now They've Got the Hots for Each Other

Cast

Director Director

Producers Producers

Writers Writers

Story Story

Casting Casting

Editors Editors

Cinematography Cinematography

Assistant Directors Asst. Directors

Lighting Lighting

Camera Operators Camera Operators

Additional Photography Add. Photography

Art Direction Art Direction

Set Decoration Set Decoration

Special Effects Special Effects

Stunts Stunts

Sound Sound

Makeup Makeup

Studio

Country

Language

Alternative Titles

Genre

Theatrical

02 Nov 1984

USA

02 Nov 1984

Popular reviews

Director

Producers

Writers

Story

Casting

Editors

Cinematography

Assistant Directors

Lighting

Camera Operators

Additional Photography

Art Direction

Set Decoration

Special Effects

Stunts

Sound

Makeup