DREAMS NEED FEET TO WALK ON - memoir on Amazon.com
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An aside not from the book - MEMORIES OF LOVERS AND OTHER STRANGERS – marian hailey-moss June 1, 2021
It was an unexpected and delightful gift that Kim R. Holton, an author and journalist of the motion picture arts,
was interested in how I experienced acting in the movie, Lovers and Other Strangers fifty long years ago. I am truly honored.
My acting career was short-lived spanning the years from 1962 to about 1980.
The three roles that were especially meaningful to me were the Horsegirl
in Genet’s The Balcony performed at the San Francisco Actor’s Workshop; Juliet of Romeo and Juliet
at the Ashland Shakespearean Theatre; and of course, Brenda in the movie Lovers and Other Strangers.
These three roles depicted people who were in search of “something more” – who were looking for transcendence to another level of consciousness. The Horsegirl was searching for that “something more” by reciting poetry she sought refuge in. Juliet was thrown into a state of transcendence after meeting Romeo. Brenda was perhaps the luckiest, most likely to survive intact. Sex for Brenda was a pleasurable accompaniment to finding a higher plane of existence – a sort of rhapsody with the universe. A man was a prop or maybe even a companion for Brenda’s endeavor. Juliet’s higher level of consciousness was possible only with her man, Romeo; and the Horse Girl’s yearning for higher consciousness was in spite of the man.
Jane Oliver, one of my agents at Creative Management, sent me up for the role of Brenda on her way out the door to another agency. A precursor was the lead role opposite Peter Falk in a segment of the TV series, Trials of O’Brien-Never Bet On Anything That Talks. Jane had sent me up for that part too with favorable results. If not for Jane, I might not have even auditioned as Milton Goldman, my main agent, didn’t see me as sexy.
I had just gotten divorced and was spending the summer in East Hampton recuperating. The divorce was amicable and far less stressful than the four year marriage had been. I was called in to read the part of Brenda at least ten times making trips into the city until the summer was over. I had not seen the Broadway play of Lovers and Other Strangers. I don’t remember auditioning with actors, not even with Bob Dishy. I auditioned with readers for people on the producing end.
It was good that Bob Dishy and I didn’t know one another. The people we were portraying didn’t know one another either. They projected their needs upon the other rather than getting to know the other person. I guess that was the whole idea of the movie actually, at least in our scenes together.
I didn’t do research for Brenda or the two other characters I mentioned. They expressed different aspects of myself, but performing them was like putting on different layers of skin. They were me and I was them. I didn’t read the literature Brenda referred to. I felt if she had recited the phone book she would be referencing the same meaning as Kahlil Gibran in the script. Brenda and I knew there was something better, finer, more brilliant than what was here now...and it was within our grasp. We just had to find the key. Maybe a man was key...maybe.
I tried to be as heathy as possible – quit smoking, drank no alcohol, exercised before a scene physically and vocally, and meditated. I keep to myself when not in a scene. By the time the cameras rolled I was a vessel to express what the script required. ( I did love the writing.) It was as if I were walking on a high wire and performing was do or die. Today, I wouldn’t be able to hold such an intense attitude. Life has brought wisdom but has also taken its toll.
I first met our director, Cy Howard, before the scene where Jerry and I meet in a bar. I was unpleasantly surprised and dismayed at Cy Howard’s initial attitude. He was abrasive and spoke to me roughly and loudly as if testing to see if I would crack before we ever started working together. I listened respectfully and put up an invisible wall between us. I knew I held Brenda inside no matter what he did or said. After our first encounter, I don’t remember him or any directions from him for the rest of the movie. Perhaps he had a girlfriend who had wanted the part, I’ll never know why he was so initially abusive.
I felt I was in a wonderland with all these fabulous actors. I was in love with Richard Castellano, and so grateful in the wedding-party scene to be sitting next to Anne Meara, who was kind and funny and put us all at ease. I’m friends with her daughter, Amy who was then an adorable child, sitting on the piano, with her proud dad, Jerry Stiller, standing by in the wedding-party scene.
I never got to know Bob Dishy. He was detached then always keeping in character with me and every so often when we met later by chance, he would say in jest, “Take off your clothes!” like Jerry would do. But he’s a fine actor and that’s what mattered between us. Riding back and forth in the limo to the Tarrytown motel where we filmed scenes was a movie in itself, with several of the seasoned actors gossiping and complaining and telling jokes.
The movie was what was called a sleeper. It became more popular than expected. I did supporting roles in three more Broadway shows: Harvey, Company and The Women and married for the second time. Although my husband, Jeff Moss, came from a showbiz family, and was at the time, the head writer for Sesame Street, he didn’t influence the way I approached the profession. I remained as naïve as ever about acting being a business. I would recommend any budding actor to read Brian O’Neil’s book Acting as a Business and if possible, study with Brian. I didn’t study with an acting teacher, but I sure would study with Brian.
In 1985 I had a devasting divorce. It was even devasting to be devastated because by this time I was a licensed psychotherapist. I’m still practicing but now call myself a wellness coach. A friend introduced me to a spiritual master, Supreme Master Ching Hai in 1993. Her teachings required a vegan diet and two and a half hours of meditation a day.
It was through following Ching Hai’s teachings, that I began to write, and I found joy in the world again. I’ve written over 18 kid’s books and most of them are illustrated by the fabulous Parisian artist, Marc Chalvin. The stories are about our relationship to animals. All the books except the three coloring books are available on Amazon. You can also download them from my website at marianhaileymoss.com.
The message I try to convey is in order to address climate change, we don’t have to wait for the politicians, we have the power do something right now. We can adopt a plant-based diet and save killing over 80 billion land animals a year in the U.S. alone. This will save and protect our water, air, trees, our health and food supply. The answer is right on our plate. Yes, Brenda my heart, there is something better, something finer, something more brilliant - it’s compassion and a peaceful way of life so that our children and their children will have a planet to live on. Just ask Joaquin Phoenix.
It was an unexpected and delightful gift that Kim R. Holton, an author and journalist of the motion picture arts,
was interested in how I experienced acting in the movie, Lovers and Other Strangers fifty long years ago. I am truly honored.
My acting career was short-lived spanning the years from 1962 to about 1980.
The three roles that were especially meaningful to me were the Horsegirl
in Genet’s The Balcony performed at the San Francisco Actor’s Workshop; Juliet of Romeo and Juliet
at the Ashland Shakespearean Theatre; and of course, Brenda in the movie Lovers and Other Strangers.
These three roles depicted people who were in search of “something more” – who were looking for transcendence to another level of consciousness. The Horsegirl was searching for that “something more” by reciting poetry she sought refuge in. Juliet was thrown into a state of transcendence after meeting Romeo. Brenda was perhaps the luckiest, most likely to survive intact. Sex for Brenda was a pleasurable accompaniment to finding a higher plane of existence – a sort of rhapsody with the universe. A man was a prop or maybe even a companion for Brenda’s endeavor. Juliet’s higher level of consciousness was possible only with her man, Romeo; and the Horse Girl’s yearning for higher consciousness was in spite of the man.
Jane Oliver, one of my agents at Creative Management, sent me up for the role of Brenda on her way out the door to another agency. A precursor was the lead role opposite Peter Falk in a segment of the TV series, Trials of O’Brien-Never Bet On Anything That Talks. Jane had sent me up for that part too with favorable results. If not for Jane, I might not have even auditioned as Milton Goldman, my main agent, didn’t see me as sexy.
I had just gotten divorced and was spending the summer in East Hampton recuperating. The divorce was amicable and far less stressful than the four year marriage had been. I was called in to read the part of Brenda at least ten times making trips into the city until the summer was over. I had not seen the Broadway play of Lovers and Other Strangers. I don’t remember auditioning with actors, not even with Bob Dishy. I auditioned with readers for people on the producing end.
It was good that Bob Dishy and I didn’t know one another. The people we were portraying didn’t know one another either. They projected their needs upon the other rather than getting to know the other person. I guess that was the whole idea of the movie actually, at least in our scenes together.
I didn’t do research for Brenda or the two other characters I mentioned. They expressed different aspects of myself, but performing them was like putting on different layers of skin. They were me and I was them. I didn’t read the literature Brenda referred to. I felt if she had recited the phone book she would be referencing the same meaning as Kahlil Gibran in the script. Brenda and I knew there was something better, finer, more brilliant than what was here now...and it was within our grasp. We just had to find the key. Maybe a man was key...maybe.
I tried to be as heathy as possible – quit smoking, drank no alcohol, exercised before a scene physically and vocally, and meditated. I keep to myself when not in a scene. By the time the cameras rolled I was a vessel to express what the script required. ( I did love the writing.) It was as if I were walking on a high wire and performing was do or die. Today, I wouldn’t be able to hold such an intense attitude. Life has brought wisdom but has also taken its toll.
I first met our director, Cy Howard, before the scene where Jerry and I meet in a bar. I was unpleasantly surprised and dismayed at Cy Howard’s initial attitude. He was abrasive and spoke to me roughly and loudly as if testing to see if I would crack before we ever started working together. I listened respectfully and put up an invisible wall between us. I knew I held Brenda inside no matter what he did or said. After our first encounter, I don’t remember him or any directions from him for the rest of the movie. Perhaps he had a girlfriend who had wanted the part, I’ll never know why he was so initially abusive.
I felt I was in a wonderland with all these fabulous actors. I was in love with Richard Castellano, and so grateful in the wedding-party scene to be sitting next to Anne Meara, who was kind and funny and put us all at ease. I’m friends with her daughter, Amy who was then an adorable child, sitting on the piano, with her proud dad, Jerry Stiller, standing by in the wedding-party scene.
I never got to know Bob Dishy. He was detached then always keeping in character with me and every so often when we met later by chance, he would say in jest, “Take off your clothes!” like Jerry would do. But he’s a fine actor and that’s what mattered between us. Riding back and forth in the limo to the Tarrytown motel where we filmed scenes was a movie in itself, with several of the seasoned actors gossiping and complaining and telling jokes.
The movie was what was called a sleeper. It became more popular than expected. I did supporting roles in three more Broadway shows: Harvey, Company and The Women and married for the second time. Although my husband, Jeff Moss, came from a showbiz family, and was at the time, the head writer for Sesame Street, he didn’t influence the way I approached the profession. I remained as naïve as ever about acting being a business. I would recommend any budding actor to read Brian O’Neil’s book Acting as a Business and if possible, study with Brian. I didn’t study with an acting teacher, but I sure would study with Brian.
In 1985 I had a devasting divorce. It was even devasting to be devastated because by this time I was a licensed psychotherapist. I’m still practicing but now call myself a wellness coach. A friend introduced me to a spiritual master, Supreme Master Ching Hai in 1993. Her teachings required a vegan diet and two and a half hours of meditation a day.
It was through following Ching Hai’s teachings, that I began to write, and I found joy in the world again. I’ve written over 18 kid’s books and most of them are illustrated by the fabulous Parisian artist, Marc Chalvin. The stories are about our relationship to animals. All the books except the three coloring books are available on Amazon. You can also download them from my website at marianhaileymoss.com.
The message I try to convey is in order to address climate change, we don’t have to wait for the politicians, we have the power do something right now. We can adopt a plant-based diet and save killing over 80 billion land animals a year in the U.S. alone. This will save and protect our water, air, trees, our health and food supply. The answer is right on our plate. Yes, Brenda my heart, there is something better, something finer, something more brilliant - it’s compassion and a peaceful way of life so that our children and their children will have a planet to live on. Just ask Joaquin Phoenix.
My journey with Breast Cancer - memoir - edited by John Thackray
