Millennial parents are vocal about how their parenting styles differ from those of previous generations, often embracing progressive concepts like gentle parenting. In this episode of Kapamilya Chat, Coleen Garcia, a millennial mom we admire for her beautiful family life with husband Billy Crawford, and their son, Amari, shared her insights on this topic.
First, when asked for advice for working moms like her, Coleen acknowledges that while some people can manage it alone, most moms still need a support system to navigate motherhood, especially during its early stages. They call it a ‘mom village.’
“May mga tao talaga na naitatawid talaga nila, at saludo ako sa kanila lalo na sa mga single parents talaga, mahirap na mahirap talaga siya. But, just because you’re able to, it doesn’t make it the most ideal thing kasi, syempre, kawawa ka naman. Paano ka makakatrabaho? Kaya sana may extra hand man lang na tumutulong sa’yo.”
She continued, “Your child also deserves that best version of you. At hindi mo ‘yan mabibigay unless you’re able to work on whatever you have to work on, including yourself.”
She acknowledges her privilege of having help at home and a supportive network of people who love her son, Amari, just as much as she does. Recognizing that not everyone enjoys this privilege, she emphasizes the importance of holding onto it tightly, “Kasi malaking bagay, malaking tulong ‘yun not just for your child but also for you talaga.”
Part of being a better version of yourself is effectively managing your time and mental load as a mother, which can positively impact your journey, including practicing gentle parenting. Coleen acknowledges that she's far from perfect and there are days when she feels overwhelmed, but she makes a conscious effort to be gentle with Amari. She clarifies, however, that gentle parenting doesn't mean lacking discipline enforcement.
Rather, it’s about being a role model to her child, although it’s easier said than done, admits Coleen. She feels like she's growing up alongside her son, which makes it challenging. “Ang daming mga unresolved na issues, like, things that you’re just covering up lumalabas ‘yun when you’re overstimulated or when you’re tired. So, when you have a child, no escape, lalabas talaga ‘yun. So, it also teaches you to deal with all of your issues din para ‘pag kaharap mo ‘yung child mo, hindi ikaw ‘yung unang sumasabog.”
She stressed, “You have to learn how to regulate your own emotions because your child will learn how to regulate their emotions from you. It’s not by you telling them or instructing them, but with how you live, ‘yun ang gagayahin nila.”
“Children don’t do what you say, they do what you do. Ginagaya nila kayo,” she smiled. “That’s why you have to be a living example talaga for your children.” Once more, this emphasizes the importance of being a better version of yourself, “You try to be better talaga for your child kasi even how you respond to conflict or how you respond to different situations, magagaya n’ya ‘yun sa’yo, eh.”
Another aspect of positive parenting is cherishing time spent together. Coleen and Billy adore simply being at home with Amari, especially during this intense summer heat. Moreover, since Billy has recently returned home after a month abroad, their house has become their happy place. Even Amari already values being with his family.
For Coleen, motherhood is among the most fulfilling experiences in the world. Seeing her child happy, thriving, and appreciating her role as a mom is more than enough to fill her heart with overwhelming joy and contentment.
*Photo credit to Coleen Garcia IG