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The Facts of Life: and Other Dirty Jokes Taschenbuch – 8. April 2003
Kaufoptionen und Plus-Produkte
- Seitenzahl der Print-Ausgabe256 Seiten
- SpracheEnglisch
- HerausgeberRandom House Trade Paperbacks
- Erscheinungstermin8. April 2003
- Abmessungen13.21 x 1.52 x 20.32 cm
- ISBN-109780375758607
- ISBN-13978-0375758607
Kunden, die diesen Artikel gekauft haben, kauften auch
Produktbeschreibungen
Pressestimmen
“You can’t not like Willie Nelson.” —The San Diego Union-Tribune
“Pure Willie Nelson...equal parts minstrel, scoundrel, and cowboy—and all of it’s genuine.” —The Washington Times
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Über den Autor und weitere Mitwirkende
Leseprobe. Abdruck erfolgt mit freundlicher Genehmigung der Rechteinhaber. Alle Rechte vorbehalten.
They say writing the first line of a book is the hardest part. Thank God that's over. Roger Miller said it must be true that the longer you live with your pet, the more you look alike. My neighbor came over this morning and chewed my ass out for shitting in his front yard. Thank you, Roger. I also have you to thank for the opening of my last book-"I didn't come here and I ain't leaving."
My daughter Lana just asked me if I wanted a couple of ibuprofen. I said no, I save my pain for the show. We are in Tulsa, Oklahoma, for a concert at Cains Ballroom, where Bob Wills and countless other great bands have performed in the last fifty years. The last time we were here, we had to move it to a larger place because of ticket sales, so we decided to do two days at Cains this time.
Lana, Kinky Friedman, and I are responsible for the contents of this endeavor, which is to be one-part song lyrics, one-part photographs, and ten-parts bullshit. That's where I come in. I seem to be doing very well. I have ripped off my friend Roger twice already, bragged about how well we draw in Tulsa, and exposed my daughter Lana for offering me drugs before the show. How do you like me so far?
"You do know why you're here?"
"Yes. There's great confusion on earth, and the Power that is has concluded the following: Perfect man has visited earth already, and his voice was heard. The voice of imperfect man must now be made manifest, and I have been selected as the most likely candidate."
"The time is april, therefore you, a taurus, must go. to be born under the same sign twice adds strength. this strength, combined with wisdom and love, is the key."
Where's the Show?/Let Me Be a Man
Explain to me again, Lord, why I'm here
I don't know
I don't know
The setting for the stage is still not clear
Where's the show?
Where's the show?
Let it begin, let it begin
I am born
Can you use me?
What would you have me do, Lord?
Shall I sing them a song?
I could tell them about you, Lord
I could sing of the loves I have known
I'll work in their cotton and corn field
I promise I'll do all I can
I'll laugh and I'll cry
I'll live and I'll die
Lord let me be a man
Please, Lord, let me be a man
And I'll give it all that I can
If I'm needed in this distant land
Please, Lord, let me hold to your hand
Dear Lord, let me be a man
And I'll give it all that I can
If I'm needed in this distant land
Please Lord, let me be a man
Lana, David Anderson, sister Bobbie, L.G., and Gates are regulars along with me on the bus, Honeysuckle Rose III. Ben Dorcy is not with us. Ben is now being preserved for trips in the near Austin area. At seventy-six-years young, he is cutting his world tours considerably. But for all the millions of Ben Dorcy fans, Ben is alive and well. Well, alive anyway. Thank you, Ben, for many years of faithful service and wisdom-"If you need a friend, buy a dog." We'll see you in Austin.
Cains Ballroom was good tonight. The crowd was loud, which I like. The girls were pretty, which I like, and the guys were friendly. I forgot the words to "Crazy" and that's a first. Sammi Smith came by and sang "Help Me Make It Through the Night." Her son, Waylon, and Waylon's dad, Jody Payne, joined in on "Hey, Good Lookin' " and "Will the Circle Be Unbroken." Sammi's still singing like an angel.
On the Road Again
On the road again
I just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again
Goin' places that I've never been
Seein' things that I may never see again
I can't wait to get on the road again
On the road again
Like a band of gypsies
We go down the highway
We're the best of friends
Insisting that the world keep turnin' our way
And our way
Is on the road again
I just can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends
And I can't wait to get on the road again
I wrote this song on an airplane with Sydney Pollack and Jerry Shatzberg. We were talking about needing a song for the movie Honeysuckle Rose. Sydney was the producer and Jerry was the director. So I said, "What do you want the song to say?"
Sydney says, "Something about being on the road."
"You mean something like, 'On the road again, on the road again, I just can't wait to be on the road again? The life I love is making music with my friends, I can't wait to be on the road again?' " I said the words kinda bland I guess, maybe without any feeling or emotion.
Sydney and Jerry kinda stared at each other, and Sydney said, "But what about a melody?" I said, "I'll come up with one before we get to the studio."
At the time they were not that knocked out with the song. Of course they couldn't hear the whole song like I could. They were very gentlemanly about the whole thing, not wanting to hurt my feelings and trying to act like they weren't worried.
I think the more I talk about my hometown, Abbott, Texas, the better. Not only is it the only hometown I have, it is by far the most educational spot on the planet. I honestly believe I learned more in my first six years in Abbott than I've learned since. Smoking, drinking, and cussing are definitely three subjects in which I excelled.
Miss Brissler, our next-door neighbor, and my grandmother, Mama Nelson (who raised me and sister Bobbie from the time I was six months old), had already told us that if we drank beer, smoked cigarettes, and cussed, we were hell bound. At six years old I was well on my way. However, the first songs I remember singing were gospel songs. "Amazing Grace" was the first song I learned.
My first public appearance was in Brooken, Texas. We were at the annual Brooken Homecoming, with all-day singing and dinner on the ground. I was five years old. My poem was given to me by Mama Nelson to recite at the singing and performing part of "singing and dinner on the ground." I guess I was nervous, because I started picking my nose until it started bleeding all over my little white sailor suit, trimmed in red. I did my poem . . .
What are you looking at me for?
I ain't got nothing to say.
If you don't like the looks of me
You can look the other way!
I have never had stage fright since.
There was always music in our home. My grandparents, Alfred and Nancy Nelson, were both musicians. They took music courses through the mail from the Chicago Music Institute. I could hear them at night practicing their music lessons. My grandfather, Daddy Nelson, was a voice teacher at one time, and they both knew a lot about music. We lived in a little house on the edge of Abbott, and I could hear every note they sang. I could also see the stars through the holes in the roof of that house. It was all very beautiful!
Soon after that time, I was given my first guitar. Up until then I had only written a few poems. Now I was able to learn to play guitar and write songs. It was a Sears and Roebuck Stella guitar. The strings were very high off the neck, so my fingers bled a lot. But they eventually got tough. Kinda like life . . .
My granddad used to sing:
Show me the way to go home
I'm tired and I want to go to bed
I had a little drink about an hour ago
And it went right to my head
Wherever I may go, and wherever I may roam
You'll always hear me singing this song
Show me the way to go home
As you can see, I was getting a broad education.
Daddy Nelson was the kindest, wisest man I've ever known, unless it would be my dad, Ira. He never criticized a crazy thing I did....
Produktinformation
- ASIN : 0375758607
- Herausgeber : Random House Trade Paperbacks; Reprint Edition (8. April 2003)
- Sprache : Englisch
- Taschenbuch : 256 Seiten
- ISBN-10 : 9780375758607
- ISBN-13 : 978-0375758607
- Abmessungen : 13.21 x 1.52 x 20.32 cm
- Amazon Bestseller-Rang: Nr. 3,122,859 in Bücher (Siehe Top 100 in Bücher)
- Nr. 237 in Biografien von Country-Musikern
- Nr. 719 in Country-Musik
- Nr. 826 in Songwriting
- Kundenrezensionen:
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Willie schreibt Tagebuchähnlich Anekdoten
von seinem Leben On the Road, und wenn ihm gerade
ein Witz einfällt,dann erzählt er ihn gleich.
Teilweise sind die Harmlos, aber auch gepfefferte
Viele Liedertexte sind auch enthalten,also es ist für jeden
etwas dabei.Das Buch lässt sich zügig lesen, auch wenn
man nicht so gut Englisch kann.
Alles in allem ist das Buch sehr unterhaltsam
und man kann sehr viel lachen. Super!
Spitzenrezensionen aus anderen Ländern
Oh yeah. Did you hear about the guitar picker who. . . . . funny.
This is a quick easy read that could have benefitted from a little more editing. If you don't like dirty jokes, just skip over those parts, because there are some surprisingly profound philosophical moments that are worth reading, (and pondering). But then, the man is a poet and a troubador, so maybe not so surprising after all...