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Have you tried speed dating? How was your experience with it?

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u/IntrntzUzr avatar

Its 2018 dude. No sane or remotely attractive woman would try speed dating. it would be limited to ugly people and extremely old people.

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[deleted]

Yeah, it would make sense if that was true. Still, I'd like to hear from people who've actually tried it, whether it's true.

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It's something that is more geared for women than men in my opinion. I tried it with a friend who was nervous about doing it. However she insisted I try because "You never know" despite her knowing about me not having an interest.

Anyway, my experience with it is more of an interrogation rather than a date. The one we participated in where for adults ages 30 to 40 only, it ended up being 20 men and 20 women.

The most common questions I got where the following:

  • Do you like kids?

  • What do you do for a living?

  • When do you want to get married?

  • Do I like to travel?

  • Do I own or rent?

Half of these questions would of eliminated these women if I was taking the experience seriously. Out of the 19 women (Had to speed date my friend so she doesn't count) 11 of them considered me a match, but I didn't consider any of them one. I was chatting up a couple of the guys there that have been there multiple times. Most of them haven't been in anything longer than a few months, which is a bit depressing. I wouldn't try it again, unless it was to help a friend.

Whats your interest in speed dating anyway?

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Edited

Thanks for sharing your experience, it would make sense that those questions were asked, considering that the age limit was from 30 to 40. Still, I bet it felt awkward and more like an interview, than a date.

To answer your question about my interest, I have to write a bit about my zero experience of having a relationship. I've had sex, I've loved girl, I've been on a few dates, etc. but I've never been in a relationship. I've lied to myself that dating and having a relationship is not something I need or even want. Meaning, years of using porn which eventually turned into addiction, not telling a girl I like her and posing as her friend, having tons of other issues including not being able to let myself be vulnerable, approach anxiety, fear of being rejected, not having intimacy at all, not wanting or being able to take risks, etc. So I was thinking of speed dating as a means of some doable action for me which doesn't require too much effort on my side and also something that could potentially turn into a night stand, relationship, whatever. I just want to break this vicious cycle that I've been living in. I've started by cutting out porn entirely from my life but that alone won't do.

To that I say be wary of what you are signing up for. This is literally the laziest and most ineffective way to find quality women. From what I've seen the women that go to these things have such unrealistic standards that speed dating is the only plausible way to sort through a large volume of men without sleeping with them all. For men it's a good way to be rejected by a large volume of women. At least two of the guys I spoke to are weekly goers and have been doing it for the past 6 months.

Those guys have spent a total of $900, to be rejected by at least 500 women over the course of 6 months. If that isn't depressing I don't know what is.

u/gotthelowdown avatar
Edited

It took a lot of self-awareness and courage for you to share all that.

Hope things get better, man. [fist bump for support].

Although if you want to be smooth, listen to this guy:

Once I was in Barcelona on a business trip (good times, except the work stuff...), with my coworker friend at a jazz club, listening to live music and the band was really great.

There was this girl sitting right in front of me with her mother (?), that girl was one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen to this day. And I don't just mean irl, even if I include actresses and models.

She was wearing a red dress and she looked something like Nina Agdal but she was more beautiful (I wasn't drunk at all). I couldn't stop staring at her during the whole performance but I didn't have enough balls to let myself be vulnerable and just take the risk of asking her out and I still regret it to this day.

But at least I did something. At the end of the band's performance when me and my coworker were leaving, I told her that I'd catch up with her.

I approached the girl, it was very loud, touched her on her shoulder and told her 'You're very beautiful', she smiled, I took her hand, she thought I was going to introduce myself but I did somewhat weird thing, I took her hand and kissed it, then I turned around and left without looking at her or saying anything to her.

During the next 3-4 days I couldn't think about anything else but her, even went to the same bar multiple times, was scanning everyone in the streets to find her but that was it, she was gone. Anyway, I'm still glad I did something.

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Well played! Thanks for the support and this awesome comment!

u/gotthelowdown avatar
Edited

You're welcome.

The girl probably still thinks of that moment sometimes: the mysterious handsome stranger who gave her a compliment, kissed her hand and disappeared. The stuff of romance novels.

For more practical tips, you might find some of my dating posts helpful. Do a Google search for this and you'll find them:

"A selection of u/gotthelowdown's comments related to interaction and seduction."

Hope that helps.

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That's a sea of useful, high quality info, thanks a lot! You're doing a good thing.

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u/CaspianX2 avatar

I actually once set up a speed dating event for my local kink community. I think it went pretty well!

Because I couldn't know who was straight, gay, top, bottom, whatever, I set up a system where everyone had a chance to chat up everyone. If it's someone you're not compatible with, no harm no foul, just spend your five minutes shooting the breeze or even just eating your meal. When all's said and done, you would write down on a sheet who you were interested in (via assigned numbers), and people who wrote each others' numbers down would be notified that they had a match.

It actually went really well, and I think there were multiple matches made that evening. :-)

u/icspiders247 avatar

Tried it a few times. Wouldn't recommend it.

No, seems like not my kinda thing, also I'm in high school