The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo#1 New York Times Bestseller "Amy Schumer's book will make you love her even more. For a comedian of unbridled (and generally hilarious) causticity, Schumer has written a probing, confessional, unguarded, and, yes, majorly humanizing non-memoir, a book that trades less on sarcasm, and more on emotional resonance." —Vogue "The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo is an alternatingly meditative, sexually explicit, side-splittingly hilarious, heart-wrenching, disturbing, passionately political, and always staggeringly authentic ride through the highs and lows of the comedic powerhouse's life to date." —Harper's Bazaar "This is your happy hour with Amy Schumer...It's Bossypants meets Trainwreck meets your long weekend." —TheSkimm “Amy’s got your back. She’s in your corner. She’s an honesty bomb. And she’s coming for you.” —Actress Tilda Swinton and Trainwreck co-star The Emmy Award-winning comedian, actress, writer, and star of Inside Amy Schumer, Hulu's Life & Beth, and the acclaimed film Trainwreck has taken the entertainment world by storm with her winning blend of smart, satirical humor. Now, Amy Schumer has written a refreshingly candid and uproariously funny collection of (extremely) personal and observational essays. In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is—a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Ranging from the raucous to the romantic, the heartfelt to the harrowing, this highly entertaining and universally appealing collection is the literary equivalent of a night out with your best friend—an unforgettable and fun adventure that you wish could last forever. Whether she’s experiencing lust-at-first-sight while in the airport security line, sharing her own views on love and marriage, admitting to being an introvert, or discovering her cross-fit instructor’s secret bad habit, Amy Schumer proves to be a bighearted, brave, and thoughtful storyteller that will leave you nodding your head in recognition, laughing out loud, and sobbing uncontrollably—but only because it’s over. |
Contents
A Note to My Readers | 1 |
Am an Introvert | 15 |
On Being New Money | 25 |
An Introduction to My Stuffed Animals | 39 |
Dad | 45 |
Excerpt from My Journal in 1994 Age Thirteen | 59 |
Camp Anchor | 69 |
Lost My Virginity | 83 |
Beautiful and Strong | 133 |
How to Become a Standup Comedian | 147 |
Times Its Okay for a Man to Not Make a Woman | 171 |
Things That Make Me Insanely Furious | 185 |
Letter to the Editor | 203 |
Mom | 225 |
NYC Apartments | 241 |
An Exciting Time for Women in Hollywood | 263 |
Things You Dont Know About Me | 93 |
Cant Knock the Hustle | 99 |
Excerpt from My Journal in 1999 Age Eighteen | 113 |
Excerpt from My Journal in 2001 Age Twenty | 129 |
Things That Make Me Happy | 283 |
Want People to Say at My Funeral | 301 |
Acknowledgments | 317 |
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