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Twisting My Melon: The Autobiography

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The raw, undiluted autobiography of a true rock star whose music and antics inspired a generation of 24-hour party people.
 
Shaun Ryder has lived a life of glorious highs and desolate lows. As lead singer of the Happy Mondays, he turned Manchester into Madchester, combining all the excesses of a true rock 'n 'roll star with music and lyrics that led impresario Tony Wilson to describe him as 'the greatest poet since Yeats'. The young scally who left school at fifteen without ever learning his alphabet had come a very long way indeed. Huge chart success and a Glastonbury headline slot followed, plus numerous arrests and world tours -- then Shaun's drug addiction reached its height, Factory Records was brought to its knees and the Mondays split.
 
But was this the end for Shaun Ryder? Not by a long shot. Two years later he was back with new band Black Grape, and their groundbreaking debut album topped the charts in possibly the greatest comeback of all time. Even his continuing struggle with drugs did not stem the tide of critically acclaimed tracks and collaborations as he went on to prove his musical genius time and again. And then there was the jungle...
 
Rock'n'roll legend, reality TV star, drug-dealer, poet, film star, heroin addict, son, brother, father, husband, foul-mouthed anthropologist and straight-talking survivor, Shaun Ryder has been a cultural icon and a 24-hour party person for a quarter of a century. Told in his own words, this is his story.

384 pages, Paperback

First published September 15, 2011

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Shaun Ryder

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5 stars
164 (23%)
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276 (39%)
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211 (30%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
Profile Image for Nigeyb.
1,295 reviews320 followers
December 2, 2016
'Twisting My Melon' was published in 2011, shortly after Shaun had appeared on "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here" (something I was unaware of). I like Shaun and his music, and so when I saw it in the library I got it out to read on a whim, and I’m glad I did.

How Shaun Ryder is still even vaguely functional is a miracle. He must be cut from the same cloth as Keith Richards, or Lemmy, and would probably survive a nuclear explosion. As you might imagine, he has spent most of his adult life as a functioning addict and has taken virtually every drug going. What’s great about 'Twisting My Melon’ is that, whilst he’s frank and matter of fact, he doesn’t over egg it and makes it all sound pretty sordid. Which it is.

When he wrote this book he was clearly in a better place than for many years. I hope that still applies. He really was a maverick alchemist who was the catalyst for some era defining music, and that he managed it with both the Happy Mondays, and again with Black Grape, shows that his talent and instincts were generally spot on.

Although there is nothing particularly surprising in 'Twisting My Melon’ it’s still a great read. Shaun Ryder has got a hell of life to recount and, if you like his music and are interested in him as a person, then it’s got lots of great insights.

At his best Shaun Ryder is a surreal, profane, joyous, eclectic poet whose bizarre rhymes somehow marry popular culture, drug and literary references, odd slogans, and doggerel with hook laden pop songs. That he was rarely straight during his most productive years is nothing short of a miracle.

4/5
Profile Image for Steven.
107 reviews
April 29, 2020
Was ok.
Got more interesting after Shaun discovered drugs and what happens to him and band from then onwards. Pretty honest account of his time in band and also that some of the famous stories about him were over exaggerated .
Links to Hacienda book as well with stories about them , New Order and Factory records
Profile Image for Louise.
2,732 reviews52 followers
October 1, 2012
I dont read a huge amount of biographies,but when I do, I do it because I want to know a bit more about that person..
I dont feel I know anymore about Shaun Ryder than I did before (well, kids and marriage maybe) reading this.
I know quite a bit about what drugs he took,and what drugs he sold, and how badly the film 24 hour party people got most of his story... but there was too much foggy times due to drugs, which in fairness is just him being honest.
For anyone who came on board the Ryder wagon with I'm a celebrity, they will be very disappointed as that hardly gets a mention.
shame ,was hoping for abit more from this.
Profile Image for Barbara.
1,020 reviews137 followers
June 9, 2019
When Shaun Ryder appeared in (and very nearly won) the 2010 TV series of ‘I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here’, the nation split into two camps. Many hadn't the slightest clue who he was and those who knew exactly who Ryder was were flabbergasted that he’d survived the years of drugs and hard living with his mental faculties sufficiently intact to be capable of doing much more than sitting in a corner talking to himself. As front man of the 'Happy Mondays', Salford-born Ryder was at the forefront of the late 80’s and early 90’s ‘Madchester’ movement, a major earner for the late Tony Wilson’s ‘Factory’ record label and by his own admission one of the people responsible for introducing the rave drug ‘Ecstasy’ into the UK via the now defunct but at the time notorious club, the Hacienda. The ‘Happy Mondays’ epitomised the sound of their era with classics like ‘Kinky Afro’ and ‘Step On’ which are still instantly recognisable classics many years later.

By rights Shaun Ryder should have fried every brain cell he ever had and be left as a dribbling wreck – and yet somehow despite swallowing or inhaling a king's ransom’s worth of drugs over a prolonged period, he’s today an extraordinarily charming and self-effacing chap – the type you’d be happy to have a pint and a chat with down your local. He’s entirely unapologetic about his drug-addled past and happy to say that his first experience of Crack was absolutely fabulous and to wax lyrical about how much he and the band loved Ecstasy. If you’re looking for a book to put you off drugs, this isn’t the one. As a cautionary tale it’s a complete flop because he got away with nearly everything.

A typical celebrity life story is characterised as much by what’s not said as what is. Most of us have at one time or another bought such books expecting a no holds barred account of a controversial life only to find the ‘naughty’ bits so sanitised as to be frustrating. By contrast, Ryder really does seem to have ‘told it like it is’, confessing to numerous sins, crimes and misdemeanours, naming names, telling tales that others might have preferred left untold and pulling no punches. I can imagine that many of those he names for the crimes of youth (and seriously, I’m not exaggerating to call them crimes) probably knocked him off their Christmas card lists when they read this. With the possible exception of Bez, Ryder’s closest buddy and drug mate, I would imagine his bandmates – particularly his brother ‘Our Paul’ – can’t have felt comfortable reading Shaun’s account of how they treated him. He claims he never wanted to be the focus of attention, that he recruited Bez to the band to distract attention from himself, but like so many bands the jealousies and rivalries destroyed them almost as much as the widespread drug taking.

Ryder’s stories of his drug taking are astonishing not only for the fact that he can remember anything about them but for the number of times he nearly got killed in pursuit of scoring crack or heroin. Equally astonishing is that he never got locked up despite being arrested several times and taking ridiculous risks. He dabbled with rehab but his heart was never in it until he got together with his current wife. Along the way, he had failed marriages and relationships, for most of which he seems to entirely blame himself and he’s never cruel or ungentlemanly about the women concerned.

Ryder is remarkably open about the role he and the Mondays played in Manchester’s drug and rave scene and their part in the history of the Hacienda. Ryder debunks some of the myths that have grown up around him and the band such as telling us that the famous pigeon poisoning scene that’s included in the film '24 Hour Party People’ didn’t happen quite as shown and saying he didn’t really steal the master tapes of the final album and hold them hostage. He does admit to going to the wrong venue when he forgot to take the name of the theatre and to hiding in the baggage hold of a bus at Glastonbury smoking heroin for three days. Other admissions are to the theft of chunks of other people’s tunes or lyrics and we get to find out the origin of the phrase ‘Twisting my melon’ which I have to admit has been bugging me for many years. Historically he was seldom willing to talk about his lyrics but the books reveals that a lot of the songs are named after people he knew, few of the lyrics are relevant to the people they’re named for (friends used to ask him to name songs after them so he did) and many of the lyrics make no sense at all. I suspect fans worked that out quite a long time ago.

Talking of words, I’m still unsure if this book was ghostwritten or not. It reads with such a fantastically authentic ‘voice’ that as you read you can ‘hear’ Ryder speaking in his dry Salfordian accent. His brother is always ‘Our Paul’, his text is peppered with swear words, just as his speech is, and there’s plenty of slang that won’t make sense to every reader. It’s hard to believe it wasn’t written – or at least dictated – by Ryder which makes it all the more remarkable that he left school at fifteen without knowing his alphabet but was proclaimed by Tony Wilson as ‘the greatest poet since Yeats’.
Profile Image for Andrew.
861 reviews13 followers
February 18, 2020
To be honest I thought I had read a Shaun Ryder Autobiography ages back...however it turns out I had read a book with some of Ryders input following the reformed Happy Monday's your plus I do remember reading Bez's book..as such there's some story's that are the same but maybe told from different angles or with the benefit of age.
Anyhow it's pretty much how you would expect a Shaun Ryder book to be it talks of the Drugs..the Music and as written later the reality shows.
It's not a book that dwells excessively on the sex and drugs which is actually a good thing..it's not that this is brushed over but unlike some books that reek of bravado and the rock myth Ryder seems more studious in his approach.
Much of this is devoted to the Monday's which in honesty is what the majority of readers would want my own favourite Ryder band 'Black grape' get some coverage but far less really..it's a interesting account of a time period and tells the Factory tale from a non New Order band which again makes a change.
I enjoy music and I enjoy music books so I was always likely to enjoy this.
Profile Image for Joanne.
66 reviews1 follower
August 30, 2018
Loved this book, a brilliant read! Very entertaining, and I would definitely recommend it! Particularly if you were in your teens or early twenties in the late 80s and early 90s and remember the whole Madchester Rave On thing! I was 16 and at Eccles College when the Happy Mondays first reached the UK top 40 at the end of 1989 and appeared on Top of the Pops, on the same show as the Stone Roses, so I remember it well! I believe he has another autobiography, What Planet Am I On? so I will have to look for that one!
Profile Image for Joseph McHale.
101 reviews
July 27, 2023
Shaun Ryder’s autobiography contains everything you’d expect from him. And more. His book is full of hilarious anecdotes as well as being brutally honest at times. After the upbringing and growing up stuff, he talks about his life after being younger and how inundated with drugs it was. Honest and genuine, Ryders autobiography is a great read.
Profile Image for Neil Jenkins.
195 reviews1 follower
January 5, 2020
Some people seemed to have lived many lives and here is a perfect example. A really honest autobiography with some very funny moments such as when bez nearly pulled julia Roberts, or the first time the mondays went to new York
June 30, 2020
Mindbendingly good!

A really honest,insightful biography with lots of laugh and jaw dropping moments. It's the sort of book that after I've read I like to research a few of the people, events,watch interviews of shaun /the band. It really stuck with me and I read it in 2 days.
12 reviews
August 12, 2020
Just brilliant - twist your melons man

A remarkable story, superbly told. This is why kids from nowhere with nothing want to become rock stars. The story belies Shaun’s real talent as a performer.
Profile Image for Dan Simonson.
7 reviews
July 8, 2023
Enjoyable for fans of the Mondays or fans of unreliable narrators. Shaun Ryder blames everyone else systematically for everything damaged by the element of chaos he adds to everything—entertaining if read ironically.
Profile Image for Gary Donnelly.
Author 6 books27 followers
September 26, 2017
You're just not rock n roll until you've lived rock n roll. And the legend that is Shaun is pure rock and roll. Loved it.
Profile Image for Bernadette Hehir.
6 reviews1 follower
November 29, 2018
Loved this book and couldn’t put it down. Huge fan of Shaun and the Happy Monday’s and Shaun has a great story to tell.
Profile Image for John Berrill.
6 reviews
December 6, 2018
Excellent autobiography both funny and sad in places.

Sean comes across as both funny and a lot more intelligent than people might expect
Profile Image for Tony Jackson.
15 reviews1 follower
September 19, 2020
A really enjoyable read, and gives you a good insight into how bonkers Shaun actually is.
9 reviews1 follower
October 29, 2020
Enjoyed it, some real laugh out loud moments in it for me. Not over the top, and some new things I'd not heard before so a very entertaining read.
Profile Image for Joshua Cleary.
2 reviews
December 24, 2021
❤❤

Thoroughly enjoyed this book. Some funny stories didn't stop laughing from start to finish. If your Interested in the whole madchester scene this is definitely worth a read.
Profile Image for Alex Margolies.
146 reviews
March 13, 2024
Shaun Ryder comes across well in the book - honest and self-aware, and much more intelligent than he's made out to be.
Profile Image for Jack Youd.
242 reviews2 followers
October 13, 2021
What a fantastic book, how Shaun Ryder is still alive I will never know. I can't recommend this book highly enough. Fantastic read.
Profile Image for Almaz.
7 reviews
March 16, 2023
From the beginning till the end of this book I constantly had two questions in mind: Would all these have happened without drugs? If so, would it have been that life-changing? The answer to both is clear. No.
I first got into Happy Mondays with "Step On" not so long ago. Then I found Madchester sound. The whole idea amazes in the beginning: a bunch of youth create colourful song-and-dance scene in grey and emotionless industrial city. The reality hits later. All musical and cultural revolutions involved some drugs somehow. They rose so flawlessly yet fell so bitterly.. Madchester was no exception either.
Shaun Ryder's story is a tale of supersonic rise and graceless fall, illusion and reality, heartbreak and redemption. Even though it was hard to read from time to time, I appreciate his frankness. It wouldn't be easy to recover. He is a courageous one.
Profile Image for Paul Pryce.
335 reviews
June 10, 2021
This at times was a tough read but by the end I felt like anything good that goes Shaun’s way - then good.
Profile Image for Mary.
133 reviews16 followers
November 16, 2011
Now, I knew before I borrowed this book from the library the risk I was taking. They say you should never meet your idols. Though no-one in the right mind would cast Ryder as an idol.) I would add to that, be very wary of the memoirs of those characters you find interesting. Hearing someone tell their story always alters your perception of them. Sometimes, as with Mandelson, you are pleasantly surprised. Others and I think a little more often they disappoint. That's probably because they're human and I've built up an image I like to think of them as in my mind. The worst was Gordon Ramsay, I read his autobio and liked him a lot less once I'd finished. I then read Marco Pierre White's and was amazed how he'd managed to write a book about himself, I'd read it and I knew very little more afterwards. he managed to hide his true self behind words.

Now Shaun Ryder, the local legend I grew up hearing about. Star of many a scandalised newspaper article. Centre of many urban myths. The man who seemed to epitomise the Madchester dream. I knew very little past the facade that had been erected around him and his bands. I didn't watch I'm a Celebrity.

I knew reading this would give the legend back the bog standard humanity. The question was would I like what I read? In truth, it didn't give me huge feelings either way. He cam across as pretty selfish at times but not too badly. It would be nice to read an account from someone else in the band. He's not too complimentary about most of them. Without ever seeming to see that he must have been hell to work and tour with.

He tells his story pretty light heartedly. The scrapes he gets himself into are far from funny but the way he tells it you can't help but see an amusing side. It's written well by him and his ghost writer in that you can fly through it. This isn't a book to ponder over and weigh up the morals. That would be painful. Pick it up, go along for the ride and enjoy it. Just be glad he can remember as much as he has!
Profile Image for Jim.
925 reviews2 followers
May 7, 2013
There are people in life who makes things happen. There are people who have things happen to them. And there are people sitting around wondering "What happened"? Welcome Shaun Ryder, who represents all three in one sitting. Unfortunately, judging by this book, Shaun is stuck more in the "What happened?" camp due to the drugs and booze he's consumed over the years. He either can't remember stuff or chooses not to. A lot of the book feels as if it's been pieced together from other people's recollections and not necessarily the main players either. If you're looking for tales of how he and Bez painted various towns red over the years, for example, forget it. On the evidence presented here, he can't even really recall who Bez is. If you add up the references to his partner in crime it totals all of about, oh, two and a half pages. So Ryder can't remember or doesn't want to, and I suspect it might be the latter, although he is quite open that he brought Bez into his band to take attention off himself. Maybe it was a job too well done in the end.
This is quite an engaging book, but it's not deep and meaningful and sheds no great light into a rock star's life. It gives more insight into the life of a scally growing up in Salford, but that's quite interesting. The music career is a blur, and any self-examination is shoe-horned into the final chapter, probably demanded by the publisher. You end up thinking there must be more to it than what is printed here, but clearly Shaun is not the man to ask.
Profile Image for Samuel Tyler.
454 reviews5 followers
Read
March 1, 2016
The best autobiographies are warts and all, but dirty needles, stealing and mashed lyrics are perhaps a little too much. ‘Twisting My Melon’ is the autobiography of Happy Mondays and Black Grape front man Shaun Ryder and is told in his eclectic style. It is good to hear an authentic voice when reading a biog, but does this work when that voice is crazy as Ryder – yes it does. It is the honesty and slightly misshapen nature of this book that makes it a good read. Ryder will not win any prizes for his writing style, but you feel his presence on every page, be it shooting down a daft story about himself, or telling an even worse one you never even knew.

Many artists will try to use their autobiographies to airbrush their past and makes themselves sound better than they are – but how many divorces can you have before something must be at least a little wrong with you? Ryder does not do this and tells it how it was, his mistakes and his successes. He is prone to defending his corner, which makes sense, so you may want to read alternative biogs by other people he mentions to see more than one side of the story.

I cannot say that I came out of reading ‘Twisting’ particularly liking Ryder; his proclamations of petty thievery and drug dealing in particular should never sit easily, but that is part of the book’s charm. I learnt a lot about an alternative life style in this book and you cannot say that of many autobiographies. Readers may finish the book angry, but any sense of emotion invoked by a book is a good thing.
Profile Image for Steven Palmer.
9 reviews2 followers
July 19, 2013
As expected, an anarchic jaunt through the rise and fall and partial rise again of those cheeky Mancunian caners. The book pulls no punches and it is no surprise to hear of Shaun's early criminal exploits and growing fondness for illegal substances. While hardly a beacon of outstanding literature, there are plenty of laughs as we follow Shaun and the boys on their adventures and misadventures in the music business. A few eye opening moments as he reveals some of the truth behind the fractures.
A definite read for anyone who came through the Madchester era
Profile Image for Philip Smith.
18 reviews2 followers
August 21, 2014
Shaun doesn't really have a great writing style (as could be expected). In many ways it's like reading a story narrated by my dad ("I got a house on Market Street in Salford, just off Bradford Road, behind the Pig and Bucket pub" kind of stuff.) He also takes for granted that the reader is familiar with some of the more well-known anecdotes, adding his own clarifications to the legends. so if you've not already heard them, you're left guessing. But otherwise it's a decent book for anyone interested in Madchester, the Mondays or indie in general.
Profile Image for Sam.
53 reviews
January 17, 2012
An interesting read but I found it quite hard going.
For me, it was too much of a 'I did this', 'I did that' sort of book, at least he thought he'd done this and that but had been too off his head to really remember.
I also think the book is a bit disjointed (pun intended). It is as if Shaun had written all his various memories on bits of paper and that someone had been given the job of having to 'jigsaw' them together to make a book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews

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