The film stars Troy Gentile (Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny) and Nate Hartley (Fanboys) as Ryan and Wade, two typically awkward teenagers who become the designated victims of a bully on the first day of high school after Wade stands up for the equally-nerdy Emmit (David Dorfman). Enduring weeks of torment from Filkins (Alex Frost), their sadistic assailant, the boys decide to hire a bodyguard to defend them; and after sorting through a list of viable candidates, almost none of whom they can afford, they settle on Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson). Taylor agrees to their modest fees and stakes out a spot at the school, advising them how to avoid Filkins, and if necessary, defend themselves. But when the boys discover that their guardian is a homeless military deserter, they realize that they may have to stand up for themselves and quite literally fight to maintain their dignity.
Produced by Judd Apatow, directed by Stephen Brill (The Wedding Singer), and cowritten by Knocked Up star Seth Rogen, Freaks and Geeks scribe Kristofor Brown and '80s teen-movie auteur John Hughes, Drillbit Taylor seems like a home run waiting to happen. The combined pedigrees of these collaborators make for considerable credibility not only in terms of successful slapstick but smart and evocative depictions of teenagers. It's actually in the latter capacity that the film is most effective, portraying Ryan and Wade (and to a lesser extent Emmet) are real teens who have a believable moral compass, as well as a sense of humor and honesty about themselves. But by contrasting them with not only a monstrous adversary but also an eventual defender who is unbelievable in his depiction, the film becomes half wish fulfillment and half cartoon.
Mind you, it's been a long time since I was in school, so admittedly it's tough for me to remember the days when I dealt with bullies who seemed to live to torture their classmates. However, it seems unlikely that a school administration would not only be completely unaware of what was happening with its students but choose to do nothing when it was brought to their attention -- if only to avoid creating bigger legal problems. I recognize that I'm grossly overthinking the film, but again, there's just enough of a palpable sense of reality underneath so many of the characterizations (or at least the important ones) that it's tough to divorce a personal sense of realism from the rest of the film's unbridled fantasy.
The film's bigger problem is that it's not really about these kids, but a star vehicle for Wilson. The resolution of the film, sadly, is not the way these kids ultimately deal with the bully and -- just maybe -- learn a few lessons about themselves, but rather what happens to Drillbit, which quite frankly I couldn't care less about. Wilson is predictably charming, of course, but as a sucker for coming of age stories, I would have preferred to see these kids really assert themselves, and ultimately, the film teach the lesson that sometimes it's worth taking a few lumps in order to stand up for what you believe in -- namely yourself.
Again, however, the film is not a lofty piece of art, but entertainment, and entertainment for youngsters at that. There's humor, sentimentality, and occasionally even a little intelligence (I appreciated references to Cape Fear and especially My Bodyguard), even if they're applied in measures too inconsistent to add up to a cohesive whole. Overall, Drillbit Taylor is featherweight, family-oriented and forgettable, which means that in the rare context of films that usually infuriate me, I actually recommend it.
2 out of 5 Stars, 4/10 Score
