Haunted Mansion (12A)

Father Kent approaches astrophysicist Ben Matthias with an intriguing business proposition. New York medic Gabbie has recently moved to New Orleans with her nine-year-old son Travis with the intention of transforming Gracey Manor into a bed and breakfast business. Unfortunately, the building is haunted and Gabbie and Travis are trapped inside at the mercy of Hatbox Ghost. Ben joins Father Kent, legitimate psychic Harriet and university professor Bruce at Gracey Manor to vanquish the spirits.

LondonNet Film Review

Haunted Mansion (12A) Film Review from LondonNet

The Haunted Mansion, a delightfully themed dark ride into the mouldering sanctum of the spirit world which conjures floating spectres using the Pepper’s Ghost illusion dating back to the mid-19th century, is a mainstay of Disney theme parks around the world. The original incarnation opened its creaking doors in 1969 at Disneyland resort in California and spookily themed variations of the ghost train have subsequently manifested in America, Europe and Asia (in Paris, the house is called Phantom Manor while Hong Kong welcomes guests to Mystic Manor). Characters, dialogue and spooky set-pieces from the attraction are exorcised by screenwriter Katie Dippold and channelled into a tonally uneven fantasy adventure that languishes in limbo between two demanding worlds: horror and comedy. A cinema release date around Halloween would have made more sense…

Decapitation and slapstick are buried in the same plot in director Justin Simien’s fright-free jaunt, which squanders a stellar cast of mortals including recent Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis, Danny DeVito, Tiffany Haddish and Owen Wilson. Long before phantasmagorical digital effects overwhelm the screen, Rosario Dawson’s traumatised homeowner invites a clueless guest to cross the threshold into her ghost-infested abode with a simple warning: “This could change the course of your entire life.” Regrettably, Haunted Manion doesn’t have a lasting impact.

Astrophysicist Ben Matthias (LaKeith Stanfield) creates a camera lens to photograph paranormal manifestations in honour of his wife Alyssa (Charity Jordan), who leads a ghost tour in New Orleans. When she dies in a car accident, Ben turns his back on Louisiana and his work. “Ghosts don’t exist. Life is dirt!” he rages during one grief-soaked outburst. Kindly priest Father Kent (Wilson) approaches Ben at his lowest ebb with an intriguing business proposition.

New York medic Gabbie (Dawson) has recently moved to New Orleans with her nine-year-old son Travis (Chase W Dillon) with the intention of transforming Gracey Manor into a bed and breakfast business. Unfortunately, the building is haunted and Gabbie and Travis are trapped inside at the mercy of a malevolent force known as the Hatbox Ghost (voiced by Jared Leto). Ben joins Father Kent, legitimate psychic Harriet (Haddish) and musty university professor Bruce Davis (DeVito) at Gracey Manor to create a bridge between the mortal and sprit realms.

Haunted Mansion is laden with Easter Eggs for fans of the ride – a grandfather clock that chimes 13 o’clock, the stretching gallery room, spirits sensitive to bright lights – but any tricks or treats end there, sadly. Considering the comedic calibre of on-screen talent and screenwriter Dippold’s previous credits (Parks And Recreation, The Heat starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy), it’s a mystery why so many gags are dead on arrival. If you glimpse anyone screaming in the darkened cinema, it’s more likely a yawn.

– Kim Hu