"Thou hath chosen to be sacrificed to the divine Minotaur."
I chose to sacrifice 96 minutes of my life to The Minotaur. It was far from divine.
For starters, all the bull imagery on display at the temple of Crete (the gold statues, the wall paintings, the dude in the horned headpiece taking part in the ritual interpretive dance) can't compensate for the fact that apart from a single shot of a big, hairy claw reaching into frame at the top of the film, the title character doesn't appear until 92 minutes in -- and it's vanquished a mere three minutes later. Furthermore, when it does show up it's a huge, hairy, lumbering thing with a mechanical face that makes it look about as threatening as one of Maurice Sendak's Wild Things. Finally, the film's Theseus, gold medalist Bob Mathias, may have been an Olympian, but he's no thespian. And that's no bull. Thank you!