After you’ve successfully picked up a Brazilian woman, have been on a few fun dates and there’s definitely a spark, it becomes serious business: you have a Brazilian girlfriend.
Does the Brazilian woman have a special manual for relationships?
You bet!
11 things you need to know about having a Brazilian girlfriend.
1. Jealousy
2. Can I still go out with my friends?
3. Looking at other women
4. Your girlfriend’s female friends
5. Comparing
6. Waiting
7. Gifts
8. Romance
9. Lovemaking in the relationship
10. Where do you settle down?
11. Marriage proposal
1. Jealousy
I don’t know any women who are as jealous as Brazilian women.
No one will be bothered by a little bit of jealousy in a relationship. It indicates that you wouldn’t like to lose someone and therefore keep an eye on your partner.
But there are limits. After all, you’ve got to be able to trust each other. In any case, until it has been proven otherwise.
The latter presents the problem for many Brazilian women.
If you ask a Brazilian on the street how many of his countrymen are cheating, he’ll answer without hesitation: 90 percent. In reality, it is a lot less. A study called Mosaico 2.0 revealed that 50 percent of men and 30 percent of women cheat. In comparison, in the United States, this is 20 and 13 percent. As you can see, a Brazilian is much more unfaithful than the average American.
Yet, Brazilian women assume that all men cheat. And that includes you.
I’ve often tried to explain that Western men are much more trustworthy than Brazilian men. They wanted to believe me, but Brazilian women are so used to the idea that men cheat that they will subconsciously always have some level of suspicion.
2. Can I still go out with my friends?
A night out with the guys, is wonderful, right? Hanging out at the bar or a music festival without your girlfriend. Unfortunately, Brazilian women don’t like this and they prefer to forbid you to go.
Is that true for every Brazilian girlfriend?
Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, but most won’t like it if you want to go out alone or with friends.
Look, going to the gym with friends or a business meeting with a man is fine. But if you’re going somewhere where there are other women, something short-circuits in their brain.
It’s useless to explain that this is normal in Western culture and that she’s got nothing to worry about. The deeply rooted assumption that all Brazilian men are cheaters leads to all alarm bells going off when you want to go out with ‘the guys’.
My Brazilian girlfriend threatened to break up with me every year because I wanted to go to the Lowlands music festival with my friends for four days. Despite her objections, I went every year and she never broke up with me, but this goes to show how fierce discussions on this subject can be.
Is it impossible to go to a bar, club, or festival without fighting about it?
No, it’s not. And the fastest way to achieve this is by taking your Brazilian girlfriend out to show her that things are much calmer in the West than in Brazil.
3. Looking at other women
Brazilian women seem to have a sixth sense in this regard. One where they feel that you’re looking at other women. In Brazil, this is known as dar bolas. Literally translated: giving the ball to someone.
Of course, it’s poor manners to stare at other women while your girlfriend is standing right next to you, but for some Brazilian women, a glance lasting a single second is a capital offense.
If you’re lucky, your Brazilian girlfriend will have the following rule: you can look, but you can’t stare.
This seems easier said than done. After all, you’re in a country abundant with scantily dressed, gorgeous women. But to save yourself a lot of misery, I would like to advise you to behave like a gentleman around your Brazilian girlfriend. Because once she’s caught you staring, you will have to account for your behavior every time.
And you don’t want that.
Early one morning, I was swimming in a lake in front of our pousada where we were staying for a few days. That morning, I was the only one swimming there. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw an overweight woman walking with her dog by the waterside, about 20 years older than I was. She was dressed in a wide dress and far from attractive.
Not long after, I saw my Brazilian girlfriend standing by the lake, hands on her hips. I swam to her to say hi. When I got closer, I saw that she was frowning and asked her what was wrong. In an angry voice, she asked why I was swimming so close to that woman.
I asked her if she’d taken a good look at the women concerned. I pointed out her age and looks, to which my girlfriend replied with the legendary words:
“Whatever, she’s got a vagina just like every other woman.”
This made me laugh and I told her this once again proved how incredibly jealous Brazilian women can be. Eventually, she was able to laugh about it as well.
A few years later, I was riding in the car with my second Brazilian girlfriend. We were on the way home after a long and exhausting day. It was already dark. While waiting for a traffic light, I was staring dazed into nothing through the window, when I was suddenly slapped in the face.
I asked her what on earth was going on. According to her, I’d been staring at a woman and she would actually love to scratch my eyes out. I responded lightly by saying that I’d been staring into the dark and hadn’t seen a woman. She was insulted. Did I think she was crazy? She’d seen me stare at that woman!
This yes-no discussion became a fierce argument. Despite my sincere disappointment that she didn’t want to believe me, she refused to accept that I hadn’t done anything wrong.
4. Your Brazilian girlfriend’s female friends
If you have a new girlfriend in the West, you’ll usually meet her (female) friends after a while. You might hang out with them at a party or in the bar, and you will often get to know them quite well.
This is different in Brazil.
The female friends of my first Brazilian girlfriend were interested in me in the beginning, but with a certain reservation. I assumed this reservation would disappear in due course, but it only got worse and the conversations became increasingly short.
I thought this was strange because Brazilians are known for their social skills and my enthusiasm certainly hadn’t been the problem. I asked my girlfriend why her friends were so curt with me and seemed to avoid me. She gave me a surprising answer:
“Talking to the boyfriend of one of your friends for too long is inappropriate in Brazilian culture. This could give the impression she’s interested in you.”
For instance, if you go to a birthday party in Brazil, you will see the men talking to the men and the women talking to the women. You can only talk to a single woman if you’re single.
5. Comparing
Never compare your Brazilian girlfriend to another woman, explicitly or implicitly. This is a very sensitive subject for Brazilian women. You never say that another woman is doing better than your own girlfriend.
No. Matter. What.
Comparing her looks to those of another Brazilian woman is about the worst thing you can do. You might as well just break up with her.
6. Waiting, waiting, and waiting some more…
On average, it takes Brazilian women a long time to get ready for a night out. They will spend a few hours on their clothes, hair, and make-up. It’s best to just roll with it; it’s no use to complain.
This is simply how Brazilian women are.
Remember: she will often call from the bathroom to say that she’s ready to go, but a Brazilian woman isn’t truly ready to go until she’s by the door with her coat on.
And, when she’s finally ready, don’t forget to compliment her looks! Particularly when she’s done something notable or different with her make-up, nails or hair, or when she’s wearing something new.
Brazilian men often forget to do so or don’t notice this at all. I often hear Brazilian women complain about this.
7. Gifts
What should you give your Brazilian girlfriend for her birthday and on which other days does she expect you to surprise her with gifts and a romantic dinner?
In Brazil, there are no less than seven days on which you are expected to go all out.
In order of importance:
1. Birthday
Of course, this is the most important day for her. You should give her expensive shoes, jewelry or a holiday, for instance. Additionally, you should give her a small personal gift that shows how well you know her. Finally, you take her to her favorite restaurant.
2. Valentine’s Day (twice)
You are also expected to show up with a large gift, personal present, and flowers on Valentine’s Day. Dia dos Namorados, as Valentine’s day is called in Brazil, is celebrated on June 12 instead of February 14.
But, as you’re foreign, she will expect you to celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14 as well.
3. Wedding anniversary or the anniversary of the day on which your relationship started
This is an important day every year. On this day, you should take your girlfriend out for a romantic dinner and give her a beautiful gift. Or you could go away for the weekend if you truly want to celebrate.
4. Women’s Day
This day is known in Brazil as Dia das mulheres and falls on March 8. This day is the main surprise on this list. Yes, I too didn’t know at first that this was a day on which you had to spoil your girlfriend a little. It suffices to congratulate her and give her flowers and a gift.
5. Christmas
Again, give her a large gift (although it can be smaller than the one you bought for her birthday) and a smaller personal gift. Are you celebrating Christmas with her family? Brazilians like to go all out, so prepare yourself for a day that lasts from 12 PM to 12 AM, with constant drinking and eating. Do your best and bring gifts for her family.
6. Easter
Really? Yes, really. At Easter, you give chocolate eggs. If you want (and if you still have some money left) you can give her another additional present. But no matter how good your other gift is, she will be disappointed without chocolate eggs.
I once showed up with a beautiful bouquet of 25 tulips, but without chocolate eggs. Well, I had to hear about it for the rest of the day.
So, seven moments you really shouldn’t forget. If you’re lucky, you met on Valentine’s Day, Easter is early that year and she was born on February 14.
8. Romance
A much-heard complaint from Brazilian women is that their Brazilian partner isn’t romantic.
Every now and then, you have to surprise Brazilian women, seduce them and make them feel special. That is also true for women outside of Brazil, but it’s important to pay extra attention to this if you have a Brazilian girlfriend. Only then will you keep her satisfied.
As my girlfriend Patricia once said:
“Brazilian women are like flowers. They regularly need water in order to bloom.”
Tips
- Often pay her compliments, such as: did you lose weight? You look very lovely today. What a cute dress. Whether you mean them or not, Brazilian women simply can’t get enough of compliments. Don’t forget that many are insecure about their body.
- Take her to a nice restaurant, take her dancing and take her on a trip. Be aware that it’s important to organize such outings more often than with Western women.
- Always be a gentleman.
- Send her sweet messages every day.
9. Lovemaking in the relationship
Are you a one-minute man? You’ve got your work cut out for you.
Brazilian women like to take their time for lovemaking. In fact, for Brazilian women, foreplay already starts during the day by giving compliments, looking at each other and touching. Once in bed, there’s also ample time for foreplay.
A real letdown for Brazilian women is a man who only thinks of himself in bed. They’re used to men doing everything to help pleasure them. This is also paramount to Brazilian men, because if a woman complains to her girlfriends, that would ruin their reputation.
On the other hand, Western men are often blamed for being lazy between the sheets.
Brazilian women have often told me that everything is open for discussion in the bedroom. You don’t have to fear that your needs won’t be met where that’s concerned. This makes Brazilian women into the best lovers you can imagine.
Their fixation with looks can make your girlfriend insecure about her body or face. So, don’t be surprised if she wears make-up to bed.
Fancy doing it somewhere else other than in bed?
You’re in luck. Brazilian women like to have sex in exciting places. I once did it underneath a waterfall and in the car. During carnival, I’ve even seen Brazilians doing it in the street.
They’re up for anything.
10. Where do you settle down?
When you’re in a relationship with a Brazilian woman, there comes a time when you have to decide whether you’ll live in Brazil or in the West.
If you choose to take your girlfriend west with you, this is not entirely risk-free. Brazilian women are incredibly fond of their family, friends and the warm climate of their home country.
Taking them away from it will lead to quite some heartache.
The idea of a life without care in a safe country does help to soothe the pain a little. But if you ask a Brazilian woman where she would prefer to live, ninety percent will say the city where they were born and where most of their family lives.
My first Brazilian girlfriend had had enough of the West after a few years and really wanted to go back to Brazil. I wanted to go with her, but we had one big problem: I wanted to live in a big city like Rio de Janeiro or São Paulo, but she wanted to go back to the place of her birth. A fishing village with barely a thousand inhabitants in the middle of nowhere.
In the 800-page long Lonely Planet on Brazil, only 12 pages are dedicated to the state of Espirito Santo where her birthplace is located. That says something, right? To no avail, I suggested alternatives such as João Pessoa, the greenest city in the world after Paris. She was hell-bent on returning to that little village. Unfortunately, we couldn’t work it out and her emigration became our Waterloo.
Should you have marriage plans and wish to settle in the West, first try living with her for a few months as a test. Preferably in the winter, so she can immediately get used to the worst season.
11. Marriage proposal
Where a woman in the West will patiently wait for a man to pop the question, Brazilian women take the initiative more often and bring up the subject of marriage.
Particularly lower-class women are looking for the security a marriage to a well-to-do Western man may offer.
Also, remember that Brazilian men don’t like to commit. Therefore, a Brazilian woman reasons that, if she doesn’t bring up marriage, she’ll be waiting for years.
So, don’t be surprised if your relationship is only a few months old when she starts bringing up the subject of marriage.
