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/r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal.


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Uncle’s place

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Have you spoken to her parents? At this age, you’re two away from her being an adult. At this point in terms of saying anything I would wait. You’re not just telling her she has a half sister, you’re telling her that her parents have been lying to her her whole life and she could have had a very different life with a sibling so close in age. So just be aware of what you’re blowing up and the potential consequences.

u/kate_monday avatar

Info: is the half sister related to you, or is she the daughter of your in-law?

If she’s also your niece, you could try reaching out separately first, to see if she’s interested in getting to know that part of her bio family. That could be a way to get a better feel for things.

It’s tricky, trying to figure out how involved to be when you see someone in your family making bad decisions as a parent. If your niece’s relationship with her parents blew up over this, you’d potentially need to be ready to offer your place as a safe alternative; I think that’s something that should weigh into the decision.

She is also my niece. My brother never “claimed” her. God that sounds awful…. Recently the mother did tell me she has been asking questions. That’s what brought this on. You’re right though, I think I should attempt that relationship first.

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u/ApparenceKit avatar

That sounds like such a tough situation, and it’s clear you care deeply about your niece and her well-being. Family dynamics can be really complicated, especially when there are long-standing decisions that have kept people apart.

If you feel it's important for her to know, perhaps you could have a gentle conversation with her parents first to understand their perspective. It might help to ensure that there’s a unified approach to how this information is shared.

Also, reflecting on your thoughts and feelings might help you decide the best course of action. Have you considered journaling or writing things down to sort through your emotions? Sometimes that clarity can help guide difficult decisions.

No matter what you decide, your intention to do right by your niece is what truly matters here. It’s clear you want what’s best for her, and that’s commendable.

Honestly, if OP wanted the best for the niece, he would talk to the parents, not the child.

Thanks. That’s what I keep telling myself. Although my sibling is a POS and I don’t have children myself so that’s why I asked.

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You need to stay out of it. Completely out of it. You aren't trying to help. You are just stirring things up. You have no way of knowing why. Just leave the peace undisturbed. If you talk, and the situation gets out of control, it won't affect your life at all. Stay out of it.