Paul Brian
When you dream about someone leaving you without saying goodbye, its meaning can depend a lot on what’s going on in your life and the type of dream you had.
Let’s take a look at the primary possible meanings of this dream.
Psychological fears
The most common meaning of a dream where somebody leaves you without saying goodbye is psychological.
It may have nothing to do with the specific person, but it taps into fears you have about being abandoned or betrayed.
We all have an inner, evolutionary fear of being stranded and left behind, or of being stabbed in the back and betrayed.
Dreaming of this person leaving without saying goodbye is the archetypal abandonment dream.
You are in the middle of something or an interaction and they just leave.
You’ve been left behind. You’re alone. You don’t know what to do.
This often relates to unresolved trauma including abandonment or betrayal which occurred in childhood.
Feeling ignored or overlooked
The next common meaning of a dream of someone leaving you without saying goodbye is that you feel overlooked or ignored.
Something that’s happening (or not happening) in your life has you feeling unappreciated and overlooked.
You dream of somebody leaving without saying goodbye because you have frustration in your own life that people come and go in your life without any explanation.
You feel a lack of control and respect, and the dream expresses this.
It can represent dissociation
Dreaming of someone leaving you without saying goodbye can also represent internal dissociation.
Trauma, disappointment or a tragedy has caused you to hit the pause button on life and you’re basically in a daze.
You’re dissociated from yourself and your emotions, and this dream represents in some ways the “real you” which has wandered off to seek refuge.
Meanwhile, you, the conscious observer, are viewing the split that’s occurred inside you.
The pain was just too much and now you’re taking a break.
Breaking up with someone
What does it mean when you dream of someone leaving you without saying goodbye?
In some cases, it relates to breaking up.
It can be an expression of having broken up recently, especially if your ex is the one who leaves without explanation.
It can also be a sublimated and hidden fear you have of being broken up with and abandoned by your current partner.
You’re worried about being ghosted and how it might feel, and the dream reflects that.
The end of a friendship
Dreaming of somebody leaving without saying goodbye can signify the end of a friendship.
This person who left without an adios is a friend you no longer feel close to or understand.
It’s a person who’s figuratively walked away from you and ended that link you once had.
Your dream may often be expressing a feeling of sadness about this friendship that is either ending or has already ended.
Alternately, you may be dreaming as a form of anxiety about a friendship you’re worried might end in the future.
Worry about the illness or death of somebody close to you
In some cases dreaming of someone leaving you without saying goodbye can be a worry about the illness or death of somebody close to you.
The dream is an expression of anxiety or grief. They left to soon and now you are left behind and sad.
The idea of not saying goodbye expresses your fear of loss and of somebody being gone before you are ready for it or emotionally prepared for their absence.
Embracing a new version of yourself
The next interpretation of what it means when you dream of someone leaving you without saying goodbye is that it can be about embracing a new version of yourself.
The person who walked away without saying goodbye is the old you.
This is about shedding a former self or an old identity or way of life and moving into something new.
You’re opening a new chapter and saying goodbye to the old, turning the pages on a former way you used to be or priorities you had.
They didn’t say goodbye because you’ve already moved on. That old version of you is history.
A new chapter in your life
By the same token, this dream can represent a new chapter in your life.
The person who walks away without saying goodbye represents that part of your career, life, place of residence, or other major life facts which is going to go away.
This can be an exhilarating feeling but can also involve anxiety about the changes.
What if you’re not ready or the new chapter of your life doesn’t turn out how you hope?
Well, that old life has already turned and walked away and there’s no choice now but to embrace the new.
Why do we dream?
According to scientists, dreams are visual imaginations and thoughts we have when asleep and sometimes recall after waking up.
They include thoughts, conversations, sights and sometimes smells, sounds and may have a linear storyline and progression or be seemingly random and nonsensical.
Science says that dreams occur as a natural byproduct of our system basically discharging excess energy and processing and running through memories and experiences we have had.
Dreams occur more often during our deep sleep, or Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep, although they may also occur during non-REM sleep.
The pure materialist view of dreams is that they are meaningless chemical reactions and random associations.
According to Sander van der Linden writing for the Scientific American:
“One prominent neurobiological theory of dreaming is the ‘activation-synthesis hypothesis,’ which states that dreams don’t actually mean anything:
“They are merely electrical brain impulses that pull random thoughts and imagery from our memories.
“Humans, the theory goes, construct dream stories after they wake up, in a natural attempt to make sense of it all.”
In the logistical sense, almost all of us dream, although not all of us remember our dreams very often. The only people who don’t have dreams are those with a rare disorder called Charcot-Wilbrand Syndrome.
Most of us dream around two hours per night with each individual dream being from five to twenty minutes long. Sometimes they seem to last much longer or shorter, and many of us don’t remember our dreams when we wake up.
Another theory of dreaming holds that it is part of our evolution and that we dream in order to simulate threats and become more instinctively adept at avoiding and countering threats to our life.
Hence, why do we dream so often of threats or stressful situations we have to solve or evade?
Apart from the physical and more literal side of dreaming, indigenous tribes and cultures all over the world have long seen dreams as a time of access to other spiritual worlds or realities.
Some cultures and religions consider dreams as a time when the individual could communicate with the gods or receive visions, guidance and warnings from the divine, from ancestors who had passed on, or from elemental spirits and forces.
The field of psychology, meanwhile, generally regards dreams as the expression and exploration of strong desires, fears or experiences in life.
Psychoanalysis founder Sigmund Freud said dreams are mainly built around repressed desires, fears and stages of early sexual development that we are stuck on. It’s something Freud explores in a lot of detail in his seminal 1899 book Interpretation of Dreams.
Fellow leading psychologist and philosopher Carl Jung, on the other hand, regarded dreams as messages from our higher self and part of our spiritual and psychological growth as unique beings.
Do dreams really mean anything?
Earlier I wrote about Freud, Jung, and scientific and spiritual ideas about the meaning of dreams.
Even on the purely materialistic level, dreams clearly can mean something depending on how you interpret them.
Even if they were purely random neural twitches recycling and processing memories, sensations, and experiences, you would have the option to decide what they mean when you wake up and remember them.
However, the question of whether dreams have an innate or inbuilt meaning or a message from a higher or more omniscient source is a fascinating one.
It’s a question humanity has pondered for millennia.
From ancient times and some cultures which still see dreams as a way for the gods or God to speak to us down to modern science, there’s no doubt that the mystery of dreams remains.
One of the most fascinating theories about the meaning of dreams is actually from neuroscience. A study led by Cristina Marzano of the University of Rome found fascinating links between dreaming and strong emotions. They found evidence of the activation of the hippocampus and amygdala, two areas associated with remembering emotional experiences.
“What we see and experience in our dreams might not necessarily be real, but the emotions attached to these experiences certainly are.
“Our dream stories essentially try to strip the emotion out of a certain experience by creating a memory of it…
“This mechanism fulfils an important role because when we don’t process our emotions, especially negative ones, this increases personal worry and anxiety.”
I had a dream
The reason this subject came up for me is that I had a dream three days ago about my favorite high school teacher talking to me in a cafe and then leaving without saying goodbye.
When I say favorite teacher I mean absolute favorite. This guy had a huge impact on me as a teenager, introducing me to all kinds of new literature in the AP (Advanced Placement) English class.
Our whole class loved him and his biting sense of humor and sharp wit were legendary. He would walk theatrically, wheeling like a prosecutor and pointing a finger at a random student:
“And by this, Coleridge was talking about what, young lady?”
It was a real ride. Like the movie Dead Poets Society, but real.
In this dream, we were doing a class outdoors for some reason and it was Medieval England. Our class was resting in the field and some sitting on an oaken table near the forest and a path.
There was some kind of gruel on the table that didn’t look very good and I remember thinking that I’d always thought the Middle Ages would be cooler than this and not kind of … fetid with old porridge sitting around.
Our teacher was dressed as a knight and was reciting Chaucer or something. Kind of cool, but confusing, especially when two other knights turned out to be having a jousting tournament behind them.
As our teacher began to lose our attention to the jousters, I lost track of him for a moment and then felt sadness as I saw him turn from us. I tried to jostle my classmates to pay attention, but as I turned I saw him already turning his back to us and receding…
Then he just…walked away
Well, I wonder what the dream meant, if anything.
Why would I have this dream and what does it signify about my life and my desires, fears, or goals? Was it just a random jumble of brain chemicals
This brings up the question of why I want to know about this…
Does it mean somebody I love is going to leave me?
Does it mean I will suffer the loss of somebody I care about?
Does it signify my own ignorance or that I’m somehow lacking in knowledge about life or the world?
The questions are many, and if you’re having dreams like this as well then I hope the above pointers have helped you shed more light on the mystery.
I believe that my dream represented more of a psychological tension I’ve been having and that my teacher represented a sensation of being left behind.
My teacher was a mentor and role model for me and for the past few months I’ve felt very lonely.
The dream represented my fear of being abandoned and alone without older male figures I can respect and learn from, or can look up to in life.
Trying to get my classmates to pay attention to him leaving was also related to this feeling of being alone.
Other common types of dreams and what they mean
Here are a few other kinds of dreams that I’ve researched in terms of their top meanings as well.
What does it mean when you dream about somebody dying?
Dreaming about somebody you know dying generally means that you are worried about losing touch with someone or scared of losing them or the relationship you have with them.
It can also mean that they are indeed having health problems or are in need of you and your comfort and support.
What does it mean when you dream about snakes?
Snake dreams depend a lot on context and also the color of the snake and what it was doing.
Did it bite you, slither past you, speak to you, hiss? Did it just sit there staring at you or sleeping?
In general, however, snake dreams represent fear and resentment of a toxic person in our life.
They can also represent fears of sexual inadequacy or rejection by men.
What does it mean when you dream about being chased?
It’s one of the worst nightmares out there, and I’ve had it a lot: somebody or some people are chasing you and your feet start to stick to the ground like magnets.
You wake up in a sheen of sweetness, just as the first monster reaches you, about to eat you up, stab you or shoot you.
The meaning? You’re really stressed and a person or situation has you subconsciously (or consciously) worried and on edge.
What does it mean when you dream about your ex?
Dreaming about an ex usually means you miss them and want them back, but it can also be a dream of missing how you were when you were with them.
Your subconscious seeks to recreate that emotional state of when you were together.
You may also be dreaming as a way to let off excess sadness or express relief about the relationship being over.
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end
Every dream’s meaning is at least partly a matter of interpretation.
Furthermore, what it means has as much or more to do with what you do about it as its inherent meaning.
If you dream of somebody leaving you without saying goodbye, how do you react?
Is this an ending that’s sad and horrible or an ending that has some potential in it?
Is it the start of a new chapter or the end of a book?
Does it make you feel fear, sadness, relief, or confusion? Does it make you feel alone or free?
Dreams are basically emotional states being expressed in words or images, so the key thing is to focus on how this dream has made you feel.
Then take that feeling and look at your life.
How will you work with it, approach it, resolve it, or continue to improve and enjoy it?
In the end, it’s your decision—it’s all up to you to make it.
