Popular reviews

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  Review by theironcupcake ★★★½ 20

  "I've got ifs, buts, and maybes, none of which mean squat in a court of law."

  If perchance you have a burning curiosity to see:
  - A) a horror-adjacent film from 1989 with "what even is this?" vibes reminiscent of Night Visitor and Nightlife;
  - A) Robert Forster as a hard-boiled LA cop with a limp, tasked with investigating a woman's gruesome murder (Rena Riffel of Showgirls fame);
  - B) a centuries-old bisexual witch with a vague European accent, who seduces Forster in one of the cheesiest softcore scenes I've witnessed in my life;
  - C) a large painting of said coupling (trust me, it's even better when Forster's face is later added to the image);
  - D) a bad…

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  Review by Marna Larsen ★★★★★ 66

  Sorry I have been doing all kinds of whatever non stuff, it's been kind of a stressful week. I finally finished Kimmy Schmidt which was...um...more emotional than I really wanted and some last minute edits, trying to sound like a normal human person who can write stuff in my queries but finally got around to watching this 90's est thing not really so much about sataning but kind of about soft core sax and sequined dresses. If you want further thoughts on this, u know what to do.

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  Review by grapejuiceplus ★★

  The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was letting movies named after him be so boring. There's a sprinkling of weird & interesting stuff here, but certainly not enough to make this movie enjoyable. The coolest scene features a Popeye cartoon. This is incredibly dull for a movie released in 1990 that's allegedly all about a 500 year old evil sex witch.

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  Review by cryptofgloom ★½

  "According to this we're in some fucking nightmare"

  Too much alcoholic rogue cop dramatics and not enough erotic Satan worshipping that's boiled in the blackest of evils going on. Starts out promisingly strong and then keeps all that dark and blasphemous energy subdued, never going all out with it even during its very last breaths. Was really rooting for this to take a turn at any moment and live up to its title but that moment never came and Satan's Princess fizzled into something I'll forget.

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  Review by Bob R. ★★

  Satan's Princess stars Robert Forster as Lou Cherney, a hobbled ex-detective who quit the force after getting a shotgun blast to the knee in a shootout with a suspect. When approached by an old friend asking for help finding his missing 19-year-old daughter, Cherney's cop-instincts take over and he finds himself working the case like he never left the cop-shop. Soon though, weird stuff starts to happen after meeting Nicole St. James, a mysterious heiress who possesses strange powers and a wisdom well beyond her years. Speaking of possession, When Cherney starts to get too close to the ugly truth about the missing girl, St. James starts to play dirty by psychically taking over the mind and body of Joey…

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  Review by Bloodspiller🩸 ★★½

  A low budget crime thriller with supernatural elements thar never really finds it's rhythm despite having a handful of absurd and erotic scenes. I thought it was funny that the lead clearly doesn't give a shit about his kid. He fucking reads a book while driving with him.

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  Review by D Edward ★★★

  Bert I. Gordon’s 80’s horror output is the definition of “let him cook”. It’s easy to overlook movies like this and The Coming because they lack Gordon’s (in)famous giant animals and people and it isn’t like his films have a distinguishable style beyond that. Yet twice now, his late-career work has surprised, with Satan’s Princess being not quite as entertaining or strange as The Coming, but managing to get by on the power of chaos and Robert Forster. I think if anyone else is your leading man, this movie isn’t half as good as it is. Forster has the right attitude for the part and can sell the sheer ridiculousness of a covert flamethrower like it’s nothing. 

  For the most…

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  Review by S̷ ̷Y̷ ̷S̷ ̷T̷ ̷E̷ ̷M̷ ̷T̷ ̷E̷ ̷R̷ ̷R̷ ̷O̷ ̷R̷ ★½

  I would just skip to about the 85 minute mark. That's where the movie really picks up. Before that is just Robert Forster barely giving a shit about this boring ass script that is criminally lacking in Satan or princesses. A rare film that will remain rare because nobody has nor should be watching this.

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  Review by Tori 🐛

  Is this movie any good? No
  Do you see Robert Forster’s ass? Yes

  Do with that what you will.

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  Review by Courtney Penley ★½

  This is a hard watch mostly because it's hard to keep track of what the hell is actually going on. Love Robert Forester but PASS.

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  Review by EricYvon ★★★

  Saxophone laden softcore Satanic thriller heavy on 90s late night vibes with Robert Forster doing what he does best.

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  Review by Craig Lumley ★★½

  Great alcoholic cop stuff from Robert Forster. Solid demon hokum and explosions from the rest of the movie. I want to buy the ancient painting of Forster getting it on with the satan woman.