Chitrangda Singh has been on a roll lately. The actress and producer received much praise for her role in 2021's Bob Biswas and her turn as a housewife in Cutting Chai, a short from Modern Love Mumbai which is a desi take on the internationally acclaimed OTT series, Modern Love. Singh made her debut in 2005 with Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi but decided to take a sabbatical which stunned the film industry. Why would an actor with such a strong debut movie take a break? Rumours were doing the rounds at the time that her former husband, Jyoti Randhawa had objected to her career but the golfer set the record straight saying he had no qualms about his wife's acting ambitions. Chitrangda made a comeback in 2008 with Sorry Bhai! which was released on the weekend of the Mumbai terror attacks. Naturally, it didn't perform well at the Box Office. But actors are known to be resilient folks and Chitangda came back stronger with star turns in Desi Boyz. In her latest project, the actress plays the role of a disillusioned homemaker who has ambitions of being an author. Over cups of cutting chai and walks in Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, she evaluates her life and all the lives she could have lived. Ultimately, she realises that the life she has chosen is the one that was meant for her. In an exclusive interview with Filmfare, Chitrangda opens up about
Your character has so many what-if moments in the anthology. What has been your biggest what-if moment in life?
For me, the biggest what-if would be when I took those years off and thought of coming back. What if I go back? So before I did come back, there were almost 7-8 months of thinking and that's when I came back with Sorry Bhai. I think that was my biggest what-if moment and I'm happy that I went ahead with it and sort of came back. This is where I belong. I feel more and more every year...I feel happy that I came back.
Of course, there must have been so many moments that made you feel that “I am glad I decided to pursue this path” but when you look back, what are the specific moments that make you feel "this is hard but this was the only option’?
You have to constantly be at it and I say this to some people who want to come in that you really have to want it bad enough to be able to stick around. There will be days when your self-worth will take a lot of beating, when you don't get a part or if you get a part that you won't do well enough. It is rigorous and also if you're not from the film industry, nothing really prepares you for it. It's not just working on a set and coming back home, there are a lot of things that go on behind that. I mean I suppose even if you are from a film family, you go through some moments for sure. But would I ever give it up? I don't think so.
Right now there is a lot of conversation around being filter-free or body positivity and women-centric stories coming up. As someone who is actually in the industry, do you actually see it or is it just on social media?
It's not like there's been no change at all. Starting with right now I don't think about always looking like the generic lambi, Gori and whatever faces. We’ve definitely stepped away from that formula. We are looking at more interesting women on screen, so change has definitely come around. Even for body-shaming; there are characters written for people with certain body types and I think the storytelling and the cinema experience have gone beyond that. Having said all of this and being very real - the film is a visual medium. So at the end of the day, there has to be something aspirational that you go in and see, something that amazes you, an experience that engages you. Now that could be anything, it could be your beauty, your eccentricity, it could be something unique about you. There is just something that they call the X-Factor. So now you don't really have to fit the cut-out measures, if you have the X-Factor you have it. Someone like Kangana or Taapsee - if you take them back in the eighties or the nineties, I don't know what you'll say. But today, I think they have the X-Factor. So I think that is the beauty of where we are today. We are transcending that barrier of the quintessential heroine. So it is a great time to be here. And it will take time, change does take time. To change a mindset does take time. Our cinema is just a reflection of what the country is thinking.
There is a very interesting part in cutting chai when your character is in VT and it says “tumne vo choice liya hai” like you are the choices you have made. Do you believe in that or do you feel that we are in the hands of some higher entity?
Mehnat aapke haath me hai kismat aapke haath me nahi hai. If you don't work hard, you don't get those choices, you have to make those choices come to you. Hard work is the most important thing. And if God has blessed you well with certain talents, you should hone those talents and make it better. First comes hard work, then the choices. And then what choice you make also depends on your destiny.
The most emotional bit for me in cutting chai was that scene where you are sitting on the train and thinking about all those times where Arshad Warsi's character has ditched you, but then you see that he hasn't and I remember this really cheesy line that used to go on on Facebook back in the day, ‘he is always late but he is always on time’...
That is one of my favourite scenes, you know. I love it because in the most important moment she has this huge realization of what Cutting Chai is all about. There is not a single dialogue, there is nothing said, it is just a moment. And that is my personal favourite - he really was on time like you said. That's the realization that somehow he is here. Just two people.
Your character and Arshad’s character have been married for 17 years in the anthology. So what do you think is the marker of a good relationship?
So even if he is late he should be on time (laughs). That is the line, right? It's like that painting on the wall and you keep thinking ‘tedha hai’ and keep correcting it. But there is a beautiful painting you have been missing. Something like that is a relationship. As long as the painting is beautiful, take it easy sometimes and it will be OK. patience and forgiveness for any relationship I think go a long way. Of course, there is pressure but beyond that, I can this really should be the most important thing in a relationship
Do you feel social media has hampered relationships or has it made them stronger?
Hampered, big time. I hear my mother talking, ‘You spend more time on this than on each other’. Like you're travelling somewhere, you are so busy Instagramming it than being together creating a moment. Creating memories now is more for Instagram than for yourself. I don't want to sound like this but definitely, there is a difference and we all feel it. Surprisingly, I know one or two people - sportsmen - who are not on any social media. Not because they've taken a stance, just that they don't feel the need. And there's a certain innocence about them and it's lovely. They would be doing the most interesting things in life like there is a surfer who’s not on Instagram. And I used to find it strange. But there's a certain innocence about that. As much as I wish I could be like that there is, of course, work. But it has made a difference, we have very little time nowadays.
What is the best and the worst part of your job?
The best part of the job is living a dream. And this is for anybody who loves what they do and who is passionate about their jobs. But for us, it's also the kind of love and acknowledgement you get for the work you do. The amount we receive is so much more than the amount we give. So humbling, like really there is no business like show business. The worst thing is that the show has to go on. Despite whatever you are going through, you have to do your best. You have to show up and have the best day of your life. You just have to look like that. I suppose that is the other side of the coin. The deal with the devil.
With so many eyes on you every single day, how do you prioritise your mental health?
I don't know how to answer that question. It is so intermingled. I think what keeps me sane is my family. What also keeps me very sane is the fact that I don't belong to the industry, or come from a film family. So a lot of pressure and expectations are not there. I mean I can very well go back to my father who is in the army, my brother who plays golf, and my son who has also started to play golf. So I could very well go back to that life. I mean I could feel very normal because they are not discussing the film, they are discussing where the next tournament is happening. So I just feel like that is a huge saviour for me. Like when my mother first saw Modern Love she said she loved it “ your’s was the best!”, just like a mother would say. She loved Arshad more of course. So yeah I feel like I could just go back to that and be very normal. Luckily that is my buffer.
Coming back to Modern Love, how has your idea of love changed over the years?
The most important change I have felt, and I say this with no vanity, is that you have to love yourself. And this is a line that's going around a lot but what it means is to discover yourself through your life experiences. Have your own set of life experiences, go around, travel the world, and put yourself out there; like I learned how to do fishing. I feel like we don't encourage ourselves and our kids to find that kind of love. It's not just a line to ‘discover yourself’. You're not supposed to sit in a room, you are supposed to put yourself out there in uncomfortable positions. That is very important and precious because that is you. I don't think I even understood it when I got married way back. You just tend to depend on the other person to fill those gaps. So my idea of love now is: find yourself and you will be part of a relationship that is so much more complete. It is easier said than done I know but I feel that is a beautiful companionship. And nobody can live the perfect fairy tale. So just love yourself, stop dying for someone else.
Your character has so many what-if moments in the anthology. What has been your biggest what-if moment in life?
For me, the biggest what-if would be when I took those years off and thought of coming back. What if I go back? So before I did come back, there were almost 7-8 months of thinking and that's when I came back with Sorry Bhai. I think that was my biggest what-if moment and I'm happy that I went ahead with it and sort of came back. This is where I belong. I feel more and more every year...I feel happy that I came back.
Of course, there must have been so many moments that made you feel that “I am glad I decided to pursue this path” but when you look back, what are the specific moments that make you feel "this is hard but this was the only option’?
You have to constantly be at it and I say this to some people who want to come in that you really have to want it bad enough to be able to stick around. There will be days when your self-worth will take a lot of beating, when you don't get a part or if you get a part that you won't do well enough. It is rigorous and also if you're not from the film industry, nothing really prepares you for it. It's not just working on a set and coming back home, there are a lot of things that go on behind that. I mean I suppose even if you are from a film family, you go through some moments for sure. But would I ever give it up? I don't think so.
Right now there is a lot of conversation around being filter-free or body positivity and women-centric stories coming up. As someone who is actually in the industry, do you actually see it or is it just on social media?
It's not like there's been no change at all. Starting with right now I don't think about always looking like the generic lambi, Gori and whatever faces. We’ve definitely stepped away from that formula. We are looking at more interesting women on screen, so change has definitely come around. Even for body-shaming; there are characters written for people with certain body types and I think the storytelling and the cinema experience have gone beyond that. Having said all of this and being very real - the film is a visual medium. So at the end of the day, there has to be something aspirational that you go in and see, something that amazes you, an experience that engages you. Now that could be anything, it could be your beauty, your eccentricity, it could be something unique about you. There is just something that they call the X-Factor. So now you don't really have to fit the cut-out measures, if you have the X-Factor you have it. Someone like Kangana or Taapsee - if you take them back in the eighties or the nineties, I don't know what you'll say. But today, I think they have the X-Factor. So I think that is the beauty of where we are today. We are transcending that barrier of the quintessential heroine. So it is a great time to be here. And it will take time, change does take time. To change a mindset does take time. Our cinema is just a reflection of what the country is thinking.
There is a very interesting part in cutting chai when your character is in VT and it says “tumne vo choice liya hai” like you are the choices you have made. Do you believe in that or do you feel that we are in the hands of some higher entity?
Mehnat aapke haath me hai kismat aapke haath me nahi hai. If you don't work hard, you don't get those choices, you have to make those choices come to you. Hard work is the most important thing. And if God has blessed you well with certain talents, you should hone those talents and make it better. First comes hard work, then the choices. And then what choice you make also depends on your destiny.
The most emotional bit for me in cutting chai was that scene where you are sitting on the train and thinking about all those times where Arshad Warsi's character has ditched you, but then you see that he hasn't and I remember this really cheesy line that used to go on on Facebook back in the day, ‘he is always late but he is always on time’...
That is one of my favourite scenes, you know. I love it because in the most important moment she has this huge realization of what Cutting Chai is all about. There is not a single dialogue, there is nothing said, it is just a moment. And that is my personal favourite - he really was on time like you said. That's the realization that somehow he is here. Just two people.
Your character and Arshad’s character have been married for 17 years in the anthology. So what do you think is the marker of a good relationship?
So even if he is late he should be on time (laughs). That is the line, right? It's like that painting on the wall and you keep thinking ‘tedha hai’ and keep correcting it. But there is a beautiful painting you have been missing. Something like that is a relationship. As long as the painting is beautiful, take it easy sometimes and it will be OK. patience and forgiveness for any relationship I think go a long way. Of course, there is pressure but beyond that, I can this really should be the most important thing in a relationship
Do you feel social media has hampered relationships or has it made them stronger?
Hampered, big time. I hear my mother talking, ‘You spend more time on this than on each other’. Like you're travelling somewhere, you are so busy Instagramming it than being together creating a moment. Creating memories now is more for Instagram than for yourself. I don't want to sound like this but definitely, there is a difference and we all feel it. Surprisingly, I know one or two people - sportsmen - who are not on any social media. Not because they've taken a stance, just that they don't feel the need. And there's a certain innocence about them and it's lovely. They would be doing the most interesting things in life like there is a surfer who’s not on Instagram. And I used to find it strange. But there's a certain innocence about that. As much as I wish I could be like that there is, of course, work. But it has made a difference, we have very little time nowadays.
What is the best and the worst part of your job?
The best part of the job is living a dream. And this is for anybody who loves what they do and who is passionate about their jobs. But for us, it's also the kind of love and acknowledgement you get for the work you do. The amount we receive is so much more than the amount we give. So humbling, like really there is no business like show business. The worst thing is that the show has to go on. Despite whatever you are going through, you have to do your best. You have to show up and have the best day of your life. You just have to look like that. I suppose that is the other side of the coin. The deal with the devil.
With so many eyes on you every single day, how do you prioritise your mental health?
I don't know how to answer that question. It is so intermingled. I think what keeps me sane is my family. What also keeps me very sane is the fact that I don't belong to the industry, or come from a film family. So a lot of pressure and expectations are not there. I mean I can very well go back to my father who is in the army, my brother who plays golf, and my son who has also started to play golf. So I could very well go back to that life. I mean I could feel very normal because they are not discussing the film, they are discussing where the next tournament is happening. So I just feel like that is a huge saviour for me. Like when my mother first saw Modern Love she said she loved it “ your’s was the best!”, just like a mother would say. She loved Arshad more of course. So yeah I feel like I could just go back to that and be very normal. Luckily that is my buffer.
Coming back to Modern Love, how has your idea of love changed over the years?
The most important change I have felt, and I say this with no vanity, is that you have to love yourself. And this is a line that's going around a lot but what it means is to discover yourself through your life experiences. Have your own set of life experiences, go around, travel the world, and put yourself out there; like I learned how to do fishing. I feel like we don't encourage ourselves and our kids to find that kind of love. It's not just a line to ‘discover yourself’. You're not supposed to sit in a room, you are supposed to put yourself out there in uncomfortable positions. That is very important and precious because that is you. I don't think I even understood it when I got married way back. You just tend to depend on the other person to fill those gaps. So my idea of love now is: find yourself and you will be part of a relationship that is so much more complete. It is easier said than done I know but I feel that is a beautiful companionship. And nobody can live the perfect fairy tale. So just love yourself, stop dying for someone else.
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