13 Signs That You're Dealing with a Chronic Liar

It would be great to find out ways to spot a lie in a person you don’t know that well, especially if you think that person might be taking advantage of you. How many times has someone made up a ridiculous excuse (that you believed), sold you something that didn’t work, or told you they were being honest when in fact they had cheated? These one-offs in the lying department can be problematic enough, but you’re likely to recover from the minor setbacks they involve without too much harm. However, what about being able to spot the chronic liar, the person who engages you in the “long con”? What could help you avoid the traps they set for you?

Perhaps you work with a person who has convincingly led you to believe that they are independently wealthy and have a job only because they want to have someplace to go during the day. All the signals this person sends are consistent with that image, from the seemingly high quality of their clothes to the stories they tell about the expensive places they go to for fun. Yet, you find yourself being asked more frequently than you’d like to cover the costs of some emergency they run into during the day. The amounts are small enough, but they add up over time, and, by now, you’d feel cheap to ask for reimbursement. Were you wrong to trust this person?

The Mimicry Deception Theory of Chronic Lying

According to University of Nevada’s Melissa de Roos and Daniel Jones (2022), the long-term deceiver is someone who, unlike the casual or occasional liar, is willing to put a great deal of thought and effort into knowing what other people expect in order to tailor their actions to meet those expectations. As they note, although estimates from previous research place the prevalence of lies as averaging one or two a day, the distribution of lies “was skewed, such that a few prolific liars accounted for the majority of lies told” (p. 44).

To help understand and then pick out one of those prolific liars, the approach known as Mimicry Deception Theory (MDT) suggests that you track them down along four key components or dimensions. Knowing where that coworker falls along those dimensions could be just what you need to avoid being constantly played for a fool.

• The first component of MDT is community integration. The chronic deceiver is willing to take whatever time is needed to establish their credibility by ensuring the trust of the people in their surroundings. The more integrated they are, the more likely it is that you won’t question their behavior. It might take them weeks or months to develop those seemingly deep connections, but, if they’re playing their game consistently enough, others won’t question their sincerity.
• Complexity of deception forms the second component in MDT. A simple lie may be just that, without too many bells and whistles. “I forgot” is one such lie. For the chronic deceiver, though, the lie has to become highly elaborate if it’s going to be maintained over time. The coworker can’t just come up with one fancy outfit but has to accumulate a large-enough collection to create the impression of endless closetfuls of high-end attire (potentially acquired at thrift stores).
• Next, if the whole point is to get something out of other people over the course of the deceptive behavior, the factor of resource extraction describes the prolonged strategy of only taking small amounts of what the liar seeks (money or possibly objects) at any one time.
• Finally, the fourth factor is the one that perhaps is most important. Detectability refers to the measures the deceiver takes to avoid being caught. Again, it doesn’t matter if someone catches you in a lie and you’re able to get away. Long-term deception demands that the liar can keep their dishonesty hidden from view.

The 13 MDT Questions

With this theoretical background in mind, the University of Nevada researchers developed an initial pool of 33 items, which they administered to a combination of undergraduate and online adult samples. In their first study, they whittled the 33 items down to the 13 that best fit the four-dimensional model while also determining how scores on those dimensions would correlate with the conceptually related qualities of the Dark Triad (narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy). In subsequent studies, they continued to refine their analyses to ensure that the final 13-item scale (known as the MDS) would continue to satisfy the criteria for acceptable statistical standards.

Now that you can see the scientific basis for the MDT scale, it’s time to look at its 13 items. You would complete the MDS by rating each item on a 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree) scale after reading the following prompt (excerpted):

We have all tried to convince someone of something that may not be entirely true. Perhaps it is for selfish gain, desperate need, or for the greater good. As such, we have all committed a deception in life; it is part of being human. For the following questions, please think back to a time where you deceived someone. For the following questions, please indicate HOW you behaved.

1. I took my time convincing the person.
2. I covered all my bases in an attempt to persuade.
3. I ensured that I looked like I walked the walk.
4. I made sure that I came across as friendly/helpful/trustworthy.
5. I got to know the person well.
6. I got to know the person’s family and friends.
7. I spent a lot of time with the person.
8. I took the things I wanted/needed slowly.
9. I took so little at a time that no one noticed right away.
10. I took things sustainably so that they never ran out.
11. I maintained an excellent reputation.
12. I ensured that no one would ever suspect me of anything bad.
13. I left no immediate doubt about my good intentions.

Scoring guide:

Complexity: Items 1–4

Integration: Items 5–7

Resource extraction: Items 8–10

Detectability: Items 11–13

As reported across de Roos and Jones’s studies, the average across the entire MDS was approximately 3.5, with most participants scoring between about 3 and 4, supporting the idea that lies are not all that uncommon, as previous research has suggested.

Deception Essential Reads

When It Might Be a Good Idea to Lie to a Partner

Are You a Chronic White Liar?

The specific items on the MDS subscales show ways that you can look at not only your own lies (honestly, of course!) but also what behaviors might indicate that you’re dealing with a prolific and chronic liar.

How to Use the MDS to Avoid the Liars Who Are Scamming You

Returning now to the example of that coworker, the University of Nevada findings suggest that you watch the individual’s behavior evolve over time. You might also look at hints from their personality traits as expressed in their actions. Looking at the relationship between long- and short-term MDS scores and Dark Triad measures, the authors concluded that it’s the narcissist and Machiavellian who will try to play you for the long con. Those high in psychopathy tend to try both short- and long-term lies, which tend to occur impulsively.

The findings also suggest ways to confront people such as your coworker who are engaging in the long-playing scam. Rather than feel embarrassed at calling them out, you can feel emboldened to intervene when you pick up on what might be a campaign to fool or cheat you.

To sum up, you may not be able to catch all the people trying to entice you into their web of deception. However, by becoming tuned in to the manipulative strategies of those trying to lie, cheat, or steal, you can protect yourself from the most devious.

Facebook image: fizkes/Shutterstock