100+ d&d dad jokes

Roll for laughs with our collection of D&D dad jokes. These jokes, inspired by the popular fantasy role-playing game, are perfect for any dungeon master or player looking to add some humor to their campaign.

Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) is a beloved fantasy role-playing game enjoyed by millions of players around the world. It’s known for its epic adventures, thrilling battles, and the chance to let your imagination run wild. But it’s not all serious business, D&D players also have a great sense of humor, and one of their favorite ways to express it is through dad jokes.

Dad jokes are a staple of D&D culture, from the dungeon master cracking puns during combat to players making jokes about their characters’ abilities. In this article, we will be exploring some of the best D&D dad jokes, and how they add humor and levity to the game.

Best d&d dad jokes

D&D is a great game for fathers and sons, and the dads in the D&D community have some great jokes and stories. Here are some of the best jokes and stories about D&D dads.

What do you call a dragon with no teeth? A gummy wyrm!
“How do you catch a wizard? You don’t! You cast him.”
“What does a half-giant do with a giant? He eats it!”
“I’m the man who put the ‘h’ in ‘homophobia.'”
“If I had to spell my name, I’d say it’s ‘He Who Must Not Be Named.'”
“What do you call a transvestite witch? A faggot.”
“My son is the best archer in the world.”
“Why don’t you just go ahead and marry Voldemort?”
“Who is the greatest wizard of all time?”
“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
“How can I get my son into Hogwarts?”
When asked what kind of father you’d be, you say you’re “a good parent.”
Your daughter asks if you’ll be her date for her wedding and you say, “No, honey, I’m a bad boy!”
You ask your son if he wants to go to the park. He replies, “What’s the point?”
You tell your son that he needs to grow up and do something, then ask him what he’s going to do when he gets older.
You ask your daughter what she wants for her birthday and she says, “A boyfriend!”
“I just got back from my wife’s funeral. I missed her funeral because it was too soon.”
“If your cat can’t read, then he/she is probably gay.”
“The only thing Voldemort didn’t hate more than Muggles was Muggles.”
“What do you call a boy wizard? Ginger.”
“If you use a sword made out of unicorn bone, how do you know when it is sharp?”
“I want to go into business with my son. I have a new idea for a giant robot.”
“What do you call a group of giants? A midget!”
“When does Halloween fall on a Friday?”
“Does your mother know you’re out drinking?”
When the player says “I’m out,” he means he’s out for good.
“You can play D&D in the house, but please do it outside.”
“My DM says we’re supposed to roll a 20 or a 40 to hit, but I rolled my stats. So, what am I doing here?”
“So we’re playing a game of D&D and the players are trying to slay a monster, but we don’t have any dice.”
“I can smell that my friend is running low on alcohol.”
“The Dungeon Master has a rule where the party gets to keep half the treasure they find. The other half goes to me.”
“I was a Dungeon Master once…at a Renaissance fair. But, I didn’t get paid.”
When someone says “I don’t see the point of the game,” it’s because they have no idea how to play it.
When the wizard says, “Yes, I will,” it means you better get ready to run.
When the wizard says, “I’ve got some bad news,” he’s just trying to cover for being wrong.

D&D jokes for hideous laughter

“Do you want to play D&D with me or do you want to play video games all day?”
“I’m not sure why we keep playing this game, it’s not like we’re going to get any better at it.”
“How can you be such a bad D&D player? You’re always losing!”
“I don’t understand why you keep playing this game, it’s not like you’re going to get any better at it.”
“Why don’t you try playing video games instead? They’re way more fun.”
“I don’t understand why you keep playing this game, it’s not like you’re going to get any better at it.”
“Do you want to play D&D with me or do you want to play video games all day?”
“I’m not sure why we keep playing this game, it’s not like we’re going to get any better at it.”
“How can you be such a bad D

dnd in character jokes

“Why do wizards use butter? It keeps them out of the shower.”
“The best way to keep a dragon’s breath from freezing you is to take a bite of ice cream.”
“What do you call a witch that’s flying?”
“How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?
This is what happens when you play Dungeons & Dragons with your mom.
I’m going to run the game like I do my daughter’s college tuition: I’m in a rush!
I don’t know how I’m going to get to sleep. I’ll just keep playing the game until the sun comes up.
I’m going to play this at full volume.
If you’re still here in ten minutes, I’ll give you $20!

dnd knock knock jokes

Why did the dragon hoard gold? Because he had a hoarding problem.
“How does a dwarf get into a pub?”
“Is there a dwarf who plays Dungeons & Dragons?”
“I was a halfling in college. Half my friends were girls.”
What do you call a Dwarf, Dumpster?”
“I’m not actually going to kill you.”
“What do you call a dead ringer?”
“D&D is short for ‘domestic dispute.'”
“Have you seen my son? I think he’s wearing my clothes.”
“Dumbledore is so old, he doesn’t even use the bathroom.”
“Who’s the bigger dweeb? Goblet of fire or Order of the Phoenix?”
“There are two kinds of Hogwarts students: those who have been expelled, and those who will be soon.”
“Potter has a thing for girls who don’t like him. It’s called a crush.”
“Professor Snape: I don’t know why you don’t trust me. Harry: I do, but I can’t help it.”
“What’s the difference between a dwarf and a goblin? A dwarf has a soul and a goblin doesn’t.”
Why was the wizard always cold? Because he left his spell-potentials at home.
How does a thief pick a lock? With a lock-pick set.
What do you call a group of kobolds? A mob.
Why do adventurers go on long journeys? To quest for experience points.
How does a Paladin feel after a long day of adventure? Knight-tired.
How did the bard charm the snake? He sang it a lullaby.
Why did the wizard refuse to cast a fireball? He didn’t want to start a flame war.
What do you call a group of skeletons? A boneyard.
Why was the halfling always hungry? He was a hobbit.

dark d&d jokes

When Hermione tries to sneak into Hogwarts by disguising herself as a witch.
When Hermione discovers she is a witch.
When Ron gets caught trying to smuggle in a dragon into Hogwarts.
When Harry uses magic to hide the headmaster’s cat.
When Harry accidentally makes a new teacher’s nose fall off.
“How do you know you’re a wizard? Because you’re too scared to pick up a book.” -Dumbledore
“Why is the toilet the size of a planet?” -Albus Dumbledore
“If I’m reading this correctly, you think that the only way to save the world is to kiss a girl? What if you’re wrong?” -Albus Dumbledore
“If I had a son who wanted to be a writer, I would teach him to dance before letting him write his first word.” -Albus Dumbledore
“If you need to find someone, ask the Hogwart’s Express.” -Albus Dumbledore

d&d dad jokes Reddit

Why did the vampire go to the doctor? He was feeling a little low on blood.
How does a minotaur like his steak? Maze-ed.
Why did the dragon go to the dentist? To get his scales polished.
How does a rogue feel about traps? Triggered.
Why did the ranger go to the gym? To build up his endurance.
How does a bard feel about singing? En-chorus-ed.
Why did the cleric go to the library? To study up on his spells.
How does a barbarian feel about the cold? Brrr-raced.
Why did the sorcerer go to the beach? To catch some rays.
How does a druid feel about the city? Urban- enchanted
Why did the warrior go to the movies? To see the latest action flick.
How does a warlock feel about his powers? Be-witched.
Why did the rogue go to the mall? To shoplift.

Some Final Thought

D&D dad jokes are a beloved part of the game’s culture, adding humor and levity to the epic adventures and thrilling battles. They are a way for players to express their creativity, connect with others and make memorable moments. Whether you’re a seasoned player or just starting out, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face and make your game even more enjoyable.

They can be used as a way to break the tension during a serious situation or just to make your fellow players laugh. D&D dad jokes are a reminder that even in a fantasy world filled with danger, there’s always room for a good laugh.

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