**r/WestCoastSwing** is for everything involving *West Coast Swing* dance: An modern, elegant swing dance with an elastic look, danceable to a variety of genres including swing, blues and contemporary music.
Social
I'm relatively new to the dance, recently decided to actually try to improve socially outside of college clubs. Yet I can't help but have that worry in my head that my follow doesn't enjoy dancing with me, especially when I see them dancing with a more experienced lead. Anyone else struggling/has struggled with this?
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Unironically, take a class as a follow.
Or, take my word for it: following is super fun if your partner has a good connection, leads clearly, and is having fun himself. You can lead five or six basic moves and have a good dance.
The things that hurt my enjoyment as a follow:
When my lead is using his arms to lead instead of his body
When the lead is too far to do the moves appropriately (especially true for shorter leads/taller follows)
When the lead is insecure/in his head
Don't apologize for being a noob. People can tell. You're fine.
Good points. Following also has an easier learning curve starting out, since there is less cognitive overhead. If someone finds leading overwhelming, it's worth considering to learn to follow first.
That's normal. We all go through it. It gets better once you get comfortable with your basics.
As Joel writes: "the road to awesome goes straight through awkward"
As a new leader I can relate, but found out that 90% was in my head. We are always doing parties after classes with 40-70 dancers so most of the people I see are kind of regulars. And after been there for a while, I found out that most of the followers that I was worried about their reaction agreed to dance with me with a smile.
There are followers who want to dance only with advanced people, but they are few. They also prefer to sit 50% of the party instead of dancing with beginners...
But there are also a lot of followers that love to dance with beginners! And I found out that these people will be the most fun to dance with after you will get the grip. And I prefer to stick with the fun people.
It also really helped me to take around 2 private lessons. I learned a lot of small things about the connection and frame that help me feel the connection much stronger and feel better with myself.
Also remember that everyone dances differently so even if you do the same moves with everyone, you are a new experience to every follower 😜
I used to (and still to, just a bit less/in different ways) worry about this a LOT, especially when I only knew a few patterns and was fairly formulaic in my dancing. For me what fixed the issue was learning to follow and realizing I have fun even when the leader is just leading sugar pushes and passes. Another thing that helped was finding people with whom I could have 'stupid dances' with, where we took absolutely zero percent of it seriously and just tried random stuff (safely) on the social floor. It takes time to build those relationships, but it really helped me feel freer in my dance and not worry about looking stupid because that was kinda the point.
Happy to chat more in DMs as a fellow college WCS dancer!
Well, why are you worried? Are they smiling more when dancing with the more experienced lead? Or is the more experienced lead pushing them through dozens of spins and turns in a row and you somehow assume their goal is to become dizzy?
It's a common misconception for leaders to seriously overrate how much "number of different patterns I can lead" affects a follower's enjoyment. If you want your follower to enjoy the dance then smile and try to make your connection as comfortable as possible. You'll easily jump ahead of plenty of "more experienced leads" in the enjoyability rankings.
They're smiling more and are more expressive with more experienced guys. It's when they look completely bored when I'm with them that makes me feel shitty.
It can be different strokes for different folks.
I have had less experienced follows be more comfortable with me because I wasn’t trying to “lead them through a bunch of crazy patterns they didn’t know.” And sometimes more advanced ones will not be as thrilled about you doing the basics.
It’s tough but there’s only one way through it.
For me, it's hard not to smile when experienced leads throw me into patterns I haven't learned yet if their leading is clear. But I can't handle that every dance and enjoy a more basic dance with a new lead where I can practice basics. It's also easier to be expressive with people I know better. A simple conversation can also ease tension if it doesn't take away from your ability to dance too much.
Also remember the follow could be concentrating too, especially if they're new or working on something, and that can make them look like they're not having fun. Don't take that personally. Smile, don't over-apologize (an oops! Or a laugh is fine), and try to enjoy yourself.
If they look "completely bored" when dancing with you they're probably not as good at dancing as you think they are. :P Otherwise, I guess it's normal to be more "expressive" with people you've known for a long time.
Every lead goes through this. After you take enough lessons and do the moves a couple thousand times it gets better. Not really a fix other than just keep going out and social dancing
When i follow I much prefer a simple lead doing the basics well than trying hard shit he cant lead. Let's me work on my following more.
As a follow, I 100% mean it when I say that I will always prefer a lead who only does a few figures but does it well, with good frame and good musicality, over a lead that tries to do a bunch of tricks and lots of fancy figures but does not know how to lead them safely and properly. A solid sugar push is so underrated!
A great sugar push is unironically an elite move
As a follow I sometimes worry in my head that my fancy, more experienced lead is disappointed I'm not keeping up with them well enough. Something that has been helpful for me is always introducing myself before a dance and making an effort to remember the names of the leads who frequent my social scene. I find it much more comfortable to dance with "Jim" or "Cam" than "nameless more skilled lead."
Also I have fun with leads of all levels as long as their obviously having fun too :)
I'm reminded of the quote "Comparison is the thief of joy." I fail at this so often it's absurd that I'm telling it to you but hard as it is try not to compare yourself to other leads.