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15 Lies Women Are Told at Work... And the Truth We Need to Succeed
What’s still holding women back at work? Bonnie Hammer, Vice Chair of NBCUniversal and one of the most powerful women in corporate America, debunks the bad advice that too many women at all levels are told and shares her surprising, no-nonsense secrets to success.
Bonnie Hammer’s legendary career spans five decades in a turbulent, male-driven industry. Today, Bonnie is a powerful leader at the very top of her field, and women constantly ask What is your secret to success?
Recognized as “the most powerful woman in Hollywood,” Bonnie’s power—and her staying power—comes from rejecting common myths about how women are “supposed” to behave and approach the workplace. She knows the traditional stories women are told about work—captured in pithy phrases like “don’t mix work with play,” “talk is cheap,” “follow your dreams,” “know your worth,” “trust your gut,” and “you can have it all”—actually hold women back. Drawing on her experiences rising from an entry-level production assistant to a top executive responsible for transforming NBCUniversal into a media powerhouse, Bonnie flips conventional workplace wisdom and gives women the un common sense they need to succeed.
Bonnie has mentored countless women who’ve built careers in every industry, and she leads NBCUniversal’s mentorship program for female executives. She’s known for taking no prisoners and telling the uncensored and uncompromising truth—even when it isn’t easy to hear. Now, she shares her time-tested wisdom in fifteen chapters that call out the lies women are told at and about work. She replaces them with powerful new truths and gives you easily digestible and practical advice to nail it in your own life.
Written with humor and heart, and full of data and research that prove her points, 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work is a portable mentor for working women. It doesn’t just explain one woman’s rise to the top in a tough industry; it shows how any woman can rise in her own work world.
Bonnie Hammer’s legendary career spans five decades in a turbulent, male-driven industry. Today, Bonnie is a powerful leader at the very top of her field, and women constantly ask What is your secret to success?
Recognized as “the most powerful woman in Hollywood,” Bonnie’s power—and her staying power—comes from rejecting common myths about how women are “supposed” to behave and approach the workplace. She knows the traditional stories women are told about work—captured in pithy phrases like “don’t mix work with play,” “talk is cheap,” “follow your dreams,” “know your worth,” “trust your gut,” and “you can have it all”—actually hold women back. Drawing on her experiences rising from an entry-level production assistant to a top executive responsible for transforming NBCUniversal into a media powerhouse, Bonnie flips conventional workplace wisdom and gives women the un common sense they need to succeed.
Bonnie has mentored countless women who’ve built careers in every industry, and she leads NBCUniversal’s mentorship program for female executives. She’s known for taking no prisoners and telling the uncensored and uncompromising truth—even when it isn’t easy to hear. Now, she shares her time-tested wisdom in fifteen chapters that call out the lies women are told at and about work. She replaces them with powerful new truths and gives you easily digestible and practical advice to nail it in your own life.
Written with humor and heart, and full of data and research that prove her points, 15 Lies Women Are Told at Work is a portable mentor for working women. It doesn’t just explain one woman’s rise to the top in a tough industry; it shows how any woman can rise in her own work world.
320 pages, Hardcover
First published May 7, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews
May 9, 2024
I admit to having never heard of Bonnie Hammer before buying this book. I bought it because I have two daughters about to enter the career phase of their lives, and after close to a half-century in the corporate trenches, I have very little advice to give them. While I have had some success in my career, the corporate world today is not the one I entered in the mid-70s.
Bonnie Hammer is vice chair of NBCUniversal, a remarkable feat for several reasons. She is a woman in a man’s world. She is 72 years old in a corporate world infatuated with youth. And she works in an industry that has been the poster child for disruption in the digital age.
To anticipate the questions of the privileged men, like myself, this is not a feminist manifesto. Her advice applies to everyone. For the women, Hammer is not advocating more leaning in. In what is clearly her very direct way she makes it clear that you will face choices in your career. You can’t have it all, however you define that. But you can have the important stuff.
The book is structured around 15 aphorisms that we’ve all heard. She rejects some outright, like “you can have it all.” Others she provides another take on. And in each case, she provides a lot of relative personal stories so that she isn’t just replacing one tidbit of conventional wisdom with another.
The writing is superb and reflects a lucid and active mind. Very active. I suspect it might be tiring to spend a day with her, but her energy is overwhelming optimistic and humble. “Put a premium on kindness. Live with humility. Learn how to joke at your own expense.”
Being of the same age and having fought the corporate wars for a comparable amount of time, one piece of advice stood out for me. “Truly great careers zigzag.” Don’t be limited to looking up your silo in assessing your next career opportunity. She was the VP of original programming at USA Network when she was asked to oversee the World Wrestling Federation franchise. She took it and succeeded. In my own case I landed a job in corporate finance just out of college. It was my chosen career, but within a few years I was asked to take a job in the factory and swapped my office on the upper floor of corporate headquarters for a much more used office in a 1 million sq. ft. factory. I accepted with some trepidation, but I never looked back, going on to C-suite positions in industrial companies, both here and abroad.
The point she makes is that disruption is so prevalent today no one can predict what their career will look like even a few years down the road. If you are just starting your career, you will be fired, let go, acquired, and otherwise put in the blender several times over your career. Guaranteed. Don’t bother to plan anything. Instead, prepare yourself to see opportunity where others see bad luck and injustice. Don’t avoid change, she advises, “run toward it.”
One of the best sections in the book is devoted to chutzpah, a Yiddish word that roughly means having the courage to speak up even when it comes at some risk. “Call it moxie, courage, or conviction – all of us should have some of it, especially at work. While waiting our turn, knowing our place, playing it safe, doing what we’re told, and following the rules probably won’t get us in trouble, they usually don’t get us ahead, either.” She’s right, and it’s as true in our personal lives as our professional ones.
“My hope, though, is that this book gives you the tools and truths (and attitude) you need to take control of your story and write those next chapters yourself.” She might be understating the attitude, which I suspect she has in abundance, but it’s put to very good use in this case with a positive message that should be heard by all.
Bonnie Hammer is vice chair of NBCUniversal, a remarkable feat for several reasons. She is a woman in a man’s world. She is 72 years old in a corporate world infatuated with youth. And she works in an industry that has been the poster child for disruption in the digital age.
To anticipate the questions of the privileged men, like myself, this is not a feminist manifesto. Her advice applies to everyone. For the women, Hammer is not advocating more leaning in. In what is clearly her very direct way she makes it clear that you will face choices in your career. You can’t have it all, however you define that. But you can have the important stuff.
The book is structured around 15 aphorisms that we’ve all heard. She rejects some outright, like “you can have it all.” Others she provides another take on. And in each case, she provides a lot of relative personal stories so that she isn’t just replacing one tidbit of conventional wisdom with another.
The writing is superb and reflects a lucid and active mind. Very active. I suspect it might be tiring to spend a day with her, but her energy is overwhelming optimistic and humble. “Put a premium on kindness. Live with humility. Learn how to joke at your own expense.”
Being of the same age and having fought the corporate wars for a comparable amount of time, one piece of advice stood out for me. “Truly great careers zigzag.” Don’t be limited to looking up your silo in assessing your next career opportunity. She was the VP of original programming at USA Network when she was asked to oversee the World Wrestling Federation franchise. She took it and succeeded. In my own case I landed a job in corporate finance just out of college. It was my chosen career, but within a few years I was asked to take a job in the factory and swapped my office on the upper floor of corporate headquarters for a much more used office in a 1 million sq. ft. factory. I accepted with some trepidation, but I never looked back, going on to C-suite positions in industrial companies, both here and abroad.
The point she makes is that disruption is so prevalent today no one can predict what their career will look like even a few years down the road. If you are just starting your career, you will be fired, let go, acquired, and otherwise put in the blender several times over your career. Guaranteed. Don’t bother to plan anything. Instead, prepare yourself to see opportunity where others see bad luck and injustice. Don’t avoid change, she advises, “run toward it.”
One of the best sections in the book is devoted to chutzpah, a Yiddish word that roughly means having the courage to speak up even when it comes at some risk. “Call it moxie, courage, or conviction – all of us should have some of it, especially at work. While waiting our turn, knowing our place, playing it safe, doing what we’re told, and following the rules probably won’t get us in trouble, they usually don’t get us ahead, either.” She’s right, and it’s as true in our personal lives as our professional ones.
“My hope, though, is that this book gives you the tools and truths (and attitude) you need to take control of your story and write those next chapters yourself.” She might be understating the attitude, which I suspect she has in abundance, but it’s put to very good use in this case with a positive message that should be heard by all.
May 20, 2024
This is a wonderful self-help book written to help women enhance their careers at any stage. The author has distilled the lessons learned during a very successful business life and has presented them in an easy to read and understand format. Many useful tips told with a sense of humor. Remember - don't let your chest, thighs, or bra straps show:) XOXOXOs to Bonnie Hammer for sharing the truth.
May 20, 2024
I got this book from a Goodreads Giveaway! I was so excited to get this book in the mail. This book is honest and to the point. It is the perfect balance of advice, real life stories, and pointers to get you where you need to be as a woman in leadership. Unlike other self-help books I’ve read, it is not saturated with stories from the author that overpower the point of the lessons being taught. I also agreed with every aspect of this book, another rarity in self-help. I definitely recommend to any woman leader in any field!
June 1, 2024
I didn’t agree with every perspective in this book, but much of it resonated WAY more with me than anything from Lean in or other “women’s” leadership spinoff books. I also appreciate Hammer’s blazing journey as a leader in cable television - a wholeheartedly male dominated industry - through decades.
May 27, 2024
Should have been a medium article. Nothing new.
May 22, 2024
I like the way she wrote, felt like I was chatting with a friend.
This book had me bringing out my highlighter and was a quick insightful read.
This book had me bringing out my highlighter and was a quick insightful read.
June 3, 2024
I’m an elderly Millennial, so I’m probably not the target audience for this book. That said, it’s pretty okay.
Hammer makes some solid points about working diagonally, taking risks, and starting out on the low end of an organization. However, there are definitely some “okay, Boomer” eye roll moments about working in person and work attire. I also thought the book ran a bit long (15 lies and truths is a lot, ten would work just as well).
If a recent grad specifically asked about starter workplace books, I might suggest this book. But it’s nothing revolutionary.
Thanks to Simon and Schuster for the ARC!
Hammer makes some solid points about working diagonally, taking risks, and starting out on the low end of an organization. However, there are definitely some “okay, Boomer” eye roll moments about working in person and work attire. I also thought the book ran a bit long (15 lies and truths is a lot, ten would work just as well).
If a recent grad specifically asked about starter workplace books, I might suggest this book. But it’s nothing revolutionary.
Thanks to Simon and Schuster for the ARC!
May 9, 2024
I devoured this in a night!! This book is full of wisdom that anyone, at any stage of their careers, would learn and grow from. I especially loved the chapter on “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff,” and Bonnie’s powerful counterpoint: Sweat ALL Stuff. She makes the point, poignantly, that at work and in life, “We don’t respect the people who focus on broad strokes and blow the rest off. We don’t celebrate the people who believe minor details and decisions are beneath them. On the contrary, the people our culture elevates—the people who end up leading, succeeding, and inspiring us—are the ones who make time for the small stuff and take it seriously.” And then she gives some incredible, concrete tips to show readers who to apply her advice in their everyday lives… even if it doesn’t come naturally. The chapters on zig-zagging through our careers and “facing it” till we make it have stuck with me too.
15 Lies is a powerful and delightful read—so powerful that I’m gifting it to every woman (and some of the men) I work with, and so delightful that I got through it in little over a day. I can’t recommend this book enough!
15 Lies is a powerful and delightful read—so powerful that I’m gifting it to every woman (and some of the men) I work with, and so delightful that I got through it in little over a day. I can’t recommend this book enough!
May 27, 2024
Feeling stymied when it comes to promotions and work recognition? Successful TV/Cable executive Bonnie Hammer has a sure-fire plan of action. Don't worry, you haven't heard all this before. This book gets to the point. I'm going to condense it all to give you the high points. Hopefully, you'll read the book for the details and the rationale. Be prepared to work: pay attention to grooming, dress up, watch your manners, speech, negative communications. Study, learn, volunteer, work collegially. Seek out a mentor, network, don't burn bridges, don't betray loyalties, learn, learn, learn. Get the idea? You're going to be busy! BTW, this book would also be helpful for men who are seeking positive guidance.
Take a look at the Myths vs. Truths below. You might be surprised.
Myth #1: Follow your dreams. Truth #1: Follow the opportunities.
Myth #2: Don't just know your worth. Truth #2: Work on your worth.
Myth #3: Have friends in high places. Truth #3: Find truth tellers in every location.
Myth #4: It's what's on the inside that counts. Truth #4: What's on our outsides matters, too.
Myth #5: You can have it all. Truth #5: You will have choices.
Myth #6: Fake it 'til you make it. Truth #6: Face it 'til you make it.
Myth #7: It's a man's world. Truth #7: Only if you let it be.
Myth #8: Talk is cheap. Truth #7: Talk is a valuable currency.
Myth #9: Good things come to those who wait. Truth #9: Great things come to those who act.
Myth #10: There's nowhere to go but up. Truth #10: Success has multiple directions.
Myth #11: Trust your gut. Truth #11: Check your gut.
Myth #12: Don't sweat the small stuff. Truth #12: Sweat all stuff.
Myth #13: The winner takes all. Truth #13: Winning isn't everything.
Myth #14: Don't mix work with play. Truth #14: All work and no play makes everyone dull.
Myth #15: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Truth #15: If it could be better, it might be broken.
The author reminds us of women's strengths. ..." Because the way to succeed in a man's world isn't to become a pseudo-man. The way to succeed in a man's world is to stand out as a woman ... our tendency toward bonding, trusting, cooperating, and, yes, empathy. The way women communicate and collaborate also influences our approach to arguments, conflicts, and full-blown crises. While men seek victory at all costs, we tend to seek resolution; they want to win the war, we want to end it. We don't just seem less threatening, we really are." This is just a smattering of our strengths.
"In the Sex and the City Cable show, Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw was right: 'Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman.'"
Pease let me know your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you. You can email me at elainewrites@earthlink.net.
I wish you all a life inspired by the wonder of the world around us. May you find and live your truth, in harmony with people, nature and the environment. May you be a force for good and a source of love and comfort. May the world be a better place for you having lived and loved here.
All rights reserved 2024
Take a look at the Myths vs. Truths below. You might be surprised.
Myth #1: Follow your dreams. Truth #1: Follow the opportunities.
Myth #2: Don't just know your worth. Truth #2: Work on your worth.
Myth #3: Have friends in high places. Truth #3: Find truth tellers in every location.
Myth #4: It's what's on the inside that counts. Truth #4: What's on our outsides matters, too.
Myth #5: You can have it all. Truth #5: You will have choices.
Myth #6: Fake it 'til you make it. Truth #6: Face it 'til you make it.
Myth #7: It's a man's world. Truth #7: Only if you let it be.
Myth #8: Talk is cheap. Truth #7: Talk is a valuable currency.
Myth #9: Good things come to those who wait. Truth #9: Great things come to those who act.
Myth #10: There's nowhere to go but up. Truth #10: Success has multiple directions.
Myth #11: Trust your gut. Truth #11: Check your gut.
Myth #12: Don't sweat the small stuff. Truth #12: Sweat all stuff.
Myth #13: The winner takes all. Truth #13: Winning isn't everything.
Myth #14: Don't mix work with play. Truth #14: All work and no play makes everyone dull.
Myth #15: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Truth #15: If it could be better, it might be broken.
The author reminds us of women's strengths. ..." Because the way to succeed in a man's world isn't to become a pseudo-man. The way to succeed in a man's world is to stand out as a woman ... our tendency toward bonding, trusting, cooperating, and, yes, empathy. The way women communicate and collaborate also influences our approach to arguments, conflicts, and full-blown crises. While men seek victory at all costs, we tend to seek resolution; they want to win the war, we want to end it. We don't just seem less threatening, we really are." This is just a smattering of our strengths.
"In the Sex and the City Cable show, Sarah Jessica Parker's Carrie Bradshaw was right: 'Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman.'"
Pease let me know your thoughts. I'd love to hear from you. You can email me at elainewrites@earthlink.net.
I wish you all a life inspired by the wonder of the world around us. May you find and live your truth, in harmony with people, nature and the environment. May you be a force for good and a source of love and comfort. May the world be a better place for you having lived and loved here.
All rights reserved 2024
June 11, 2024
This was a well thought out well written book for the modern woman. It didn't come off as preachy or textbook-y. The author shared her personal journey and experiences as well. It'll resonate with some but maybe not everyone. An insightful read. I received this as a Goodreads Giveaaway in exchange for an honest review
June 5, 2024
This is next level in how-to books brought to you by one of the most successful female leaders in television. She gives sound advice with intelligence and humor and a genuine honesty that makes this mentor-in-a-book a must have.
May 20, 2024
Maybe non fiction just isn't for me...
Nothing wrong with the book specifically, but I found it a little obvious, and overall a bit of a snoozefest.
Nothing wrong with the book specifically, but I found it a little obvious, and overall a bit of a snoozefest.
May 24, 2024
I enjoyed this very much. The lies she debunked are very relevant in the work place.
May 28, 2024
Great spirit, good advice.
June 2, 2024
Reading this gave me whiplash.
June 4, 2024
Words I needed to hear, when I needed to hear them - during a time of major career change.
June 6, 2024
An engaging "how-to" delivered with humor and grace. A great gift for anyone entering the corporate world or simply trying to find their way through it.
June 7, 2024
True rating: 3.5 stars
June 8, 2024
I really enjoyed this book and the authors general writing tone. Witty, funny, kept my mind going and wanting more.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews