Friends vs. Family Response to Big Life Event Goes Viral: 'True Colors'

A video of a woman recalling how her family "never responded at all" to her wedding invitation has gone viral on TikTok.

The clip posted by Jo (@just.jo.things) has received a million views since it was shared on March 19. The footage shows a woman talking into a camera, while the caption reads: "Weddings bring out peoples true colors!!!"

The woman says in the clip: "When we sent out our wedding invitations, the first people that responded were our friends. They texted us. They said we're so excited, and they RSVP-ed.

"When we sent out invitations to our family, like blood relatives, they didn't respond.... I had to follow up to make sure that they received it," she said. Even after the follow-up, they never replied.

The importance of responding to a wedding invitation promptly is understandable. Seventy-five percent of couples say that making sure their "guests are well taken care of and have a good time" are among the most important factors in the wedding planning process, according to a survey by The Knot, a wedding planning website.

So when should guests be expected to respond to your wedding invitation? Ideally, the RSVP deadline should be around three to four weeks before the big day. The invitations should be sent out around six to eight weeks before the wedding, which gives guests about a month to respond.

"This way, it's close enough that your guests feel like they can't put it off, yet it's not so close that they've made other plans," Arizona-based wedding planner Chandra Keel, owner of Chandra Keel Events, told Brides magazine in September 2023.

'Is This Relationship Worth It?'

According to the woman in the clip, her therapist said that major life events, such as weddings, having a baby and a divorce, may come with losing people in your life who "don't really want to be there."

The bride said the couple's close friends who couldn't make it to the wedding contacted them to let them know. "They physically called us, FaceTimed us, wrote us a letter, [did] something...and we understood because we actually had a conversation with them."

However, her own family "just never responded at all."

"If people aren't willing to give you the respect of being like, 'Hey, I can't come to your wedding'....why are you bothering?" she said.

The woman went on to say the couple would give her family and others the courtesy of telling them if they can't make it to a wedding. "But they [her family] won't give us the respect, and that's where I'm like: 'Wow, is this relationship worth it?'"

'My Wedding Will Not Be a Family Reunion'

Several users on TikTok could relate to the woman's sentiments.

Syd wrote: "Family that refuses to RSVP DO NOT WANT TO COME. They aren't worth it."

Marissa Ciurleo said: "My wedding will not be a family reunion for this reason."

"My wedding guests were 95% friends and 5% relatives who actually loved me," said @madisyntcombs.

Tabby wrote: "This is why I don't want a big wedding. Or a wedding. Too many people in my life bailed on me for major life events. I just don't want to deal with it."

L. Renee DesJardins Writer wrote: "I had several family members RSVP Yes then no show. Haven't spoken to them in over a decade now, and they have never reached out either."

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via TikTok and email. This video has not been independently verified.

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