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Don’t know if I should flip
I’m currently in my third trimester. We have absolutely nothing for our baby. I haven’t been able to work because I’m on bedrest (high risk) so I have no money to buy our baby anything. My whole pregnancy he’s been telling me to wait until our baby shower we will get stuff, his dad was going to buy the car seat then just started ignoring us. The only thing we got off our registry that wasn’t clothes or blankets was a floor play gym mat thing. I’m freaking out. Our baby could be born early due to me being high risk and we don’t have a bassinet car seat bottles anything. I’m about to sell my engagement ring so I can just buy the stuff for her myself. I feel like a terrible mom. This is my second baby but his first and I don’t have anything left from my first baby because I had him over 6years ago and I was also a teen mom so moving with college and stuff I got rid of most of it because I didn’t think I’d have another kid for a while. It’s sad to say but I honestly feel like I was better off as a teen mom than I am now. My son was born at 32 weeks and I had absolutely everything I needed for him. I don’t have family to help me out (mom passed away when I was 14 and I don’t have a relationship with my dad anymore) I have no idea what to do.
Yep I’d flip. You literally can’t even take your baby home from the hospital without a car seat. They won’t let you. What’s his excuse now? You at minimum need a car seat and a safe space for the baby to sleep (crib or bassinet).
Do you not have access to the bank accounts? Or can you not afford it?
we don’t have any shared accounts. So I don’t have access to any money :(
I also have no money left in my savings as I spent most of the money from my mom dying in custody court for my son and student loans
first, you need access to the accounts. I’m not a fan of mixing finances prior to marriage (I’m assuming you’re only engaged?) but in this scenario, you absolutely need to have access to something.
If he won’t give you access to the accounts, I would not marry him.
What is his reasoning for not even buying the bare necessities yet?
Can you reach out to church or any local resources for moms to help you get the things you need if he’s not willing to? Do you have any friends willing to lend you some money or any friends that have left over baby stuff they can give you?
What is your fiancé's plan for a car seat? And if he has no plan, why tf is he still you fiancé?
I have absolutely no where to go/no money since I’m stuck on bedrest and he pays all the bills I’m thinking I could get maybe $1.5k out of my ring if I sell it
Absolutely sell it. What a trash bag.
It would be different if the issue was he was struggling for money and didn't know what to do, but if he truly doesn't guess a shït and isn't engaging about this then sell the ring and then formally end the engagement whenever you're back on your feet.
he def wouldn’t be my fiance anymore that’s for sure. He doesn’t seem interested at all in the baby they’re about to have. Not even the absolute bare minimum. I’d say this is likely a sneak preview of the type of father he will be, sadly.
He needs to go buy a car seat, crib and some bottles. He’s had time to figure this all out.
He’s aware you can’t bring baby home without a carseat right..?
Honestly though, you don’t need TONS of stuff immediately with a newborn.
Carseat, bassinet/crib, diapers & wipes, and a few outfits.
We had the basic necessities, and then just bought stuff as we found a need for it.
You guys should look on FB marketplace for gently used items. We’ve saved soooo much money on baby items and they all look brand new still.
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