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208 pages, Hardcover
First published September 22, 2020
So there you are, Ronnie. At last. Well thanks for coming anyway. What a pity we couldn't have had a last little chat. Perhaps it wouldn't have got us very far anyway, probably not. And in any case, here's the main item for you. Here I am. Here we are. This is your mother, Agnes. And here's a fine little trick for you to perform, if you're up for it. So come on.
There are no magic wands, Ronnie. There are magic wands, but there are no magic wands. Do you understand me?
He had an audience of two, and he stood facing them, the green-topped table beside him. He knew by now that the surface was called “baize”, a nice word, but he knew also that the table was not what it seemed. It was a table and not a table, and this might be true of a great many things. It was the first door that you had to pass through, as it were, into a new way of thinking about everything around you.
And it was strange how in all those shows, all those performances, a whole season's worth, you hardly stopped to think – she never thought about it as she looked at her face in the mirror and placed the tiara, like a regular coronation, in her hair: The sea is right beneath us now. Right beneath us now the waves are swishing and swirling, the fish are darting, the seaweed is swaying this way and that. If the stage were to open up, we'd all go tumbling through to the water.
Sometimes, beyond the stirrings and the gaspings of the audience, he might think he could hear the creakings and strainings of the pier itself, like a big foundering ship. But perhaps it was more that he was the one who was going under.
He bent to kiss her forehead. It was cold to his lips and she made no sign – no smile or frown or flinch – that she knew what he was doing. And he felt that his lips were touching also the cold surface of the water, the deep heedless water under which his father lay, unknowing too.