11 habits of people who stay happy in tough times

We all want to be happy. And thinkers and philosophers have spent thousands of years trying to figure out the best way to achieve happiness.

But any approach to life is worthless if it can’t stand up to tough times. Even the most fortunate of us are bound to encounter hardship sooner or later. 

And when that happens, we need the tools to maintain our equilibrium and even find happiness in those tough times.

So how do you stay happy when things around you are tougher than ever? Well, there are a few ways to stay happy even in the toughest times:

1) Take it easy on themselves

The first thing to remember when times get tough is that this is how life works. Long before it was a popular game show, the Wheel of Fortune was an ancient symbol of the unpredictable nature of life.

Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. But the important thing to remember is that nobody gets to win all the time.

So when you find yourself struggling, don’t be too hard on yourself. Even the highest achievers have had their moments of failure and self-doubt.

If you find yourself facing hard times, don’t blame yourself. Now is the time when you need to be your own biggest ally and cheerleader.

Don’t fall into the trap of negative self-talk. We are capable of literally rewiring our brains with the things we tell ourselves over and over, so don’t beat yourself up about your failures so that you can stay positive and focused on solutions.

2) Accept the suck

The first thing to remember when confronted with negative emotions is that trying to fight against them can make them worse. 

As famous psychologist CG Jung wrote, “What we resist persists.”

In other words, trying to fight your negative emotions can make them even stronger.

In the US military, the phrase ‘embrace the suck’ means to practice acceptance and even appreciation of things that are extremely unpleasant, but unavoidable. 

This gives soldiers and special forces the mental resilience to overcome challenging situations and find the good in them.

In this way, they echo the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, which state that all existence is suffering, and that the cause of suffering is desire.

Of course, that includes a desire to escape suffering in the first place.

In the same way, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT, according to psychologist Stephen C Hayes, can help people accept painful situations and learn to stay positive.

To put it simply, accepting a challenging situation is the first step to overcoming it.

3) Surround themselves with supportive people

When things get tough, you need to practice mental resilience and be your own best friend. But that doesn’t mean you can’t lean on other people for support.

True friends are the people who are there for you when times are tough. As therapist Arlin Cuncic points out, friendships can be just as important for your well-being as healthy eating and exercise.

Friends can also:

• Help you avoid destructive behaviors like drinking too much
• Give you emotional support
• Build up your confidence
• Push you to be your best
• Reduce stress

Having a strong network of supportive and positive people is one of the most valuable things you can have to get through tough times.

4) Stay grateful

It might sound weird to talk about being grateful when times are tough. But that’s exactly when you need to practice gratitude the most.

The thing is, we all have something to be grateful for, even when things aren’t going our way. The warm feel of sunlight on your skin. A delicious meal. Your health. Your family.

Focus on the things you have instead of the things that don’t, and you’ll find that your entire mindset changes.

Practicing gratitude has been proven to boost self-esteem, decrease depression, and even help manage chronic pain.

5) Be mindful

Mindfulness is part of some major religions like Buddhism and Hinduism. But you don’t have to be religious to get the benefits of this practice.

At its core, mindfulness means staying in the present moment. Instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on the past, focus on the sensations you are experiencing in the present, without judging them as good or bad.

It doesn’t sound like much, and in one sense, it’s as simple as can be.

On the other hand, mindfulness has been shown to have extraordinary benefits for both mental and physical health.

And one of the best things about mindfulness is that you don’t need anything to get started. Just set aside sometime each day to pay attention to the present.

6) Look for solutions instead of focusing on problems

Sometimes, our problems seem impossible. It’s human nature to dwell on difficulties and think about worst-case scenarios.

But it’s much more helpful when times are tough to think about solutions.

Psychologist Kendra Cherry recommends breaking the problem-solving thought process down into the following steps:

• Recognizing the problem
• Making the decision to try to solve it
• Making the effort to understand the problem more fully
• Researching possible options and solutions
• Taking action to solve the problem

Adopting a structured approach to problem-solving can help you find solutions quicker and not get bogged down in obsessing over the problem itself.

7) Stay healthy

You already know this one, so I won’t spend too much time on it. But being physically healthy has a way of lessening every other problem you may come across.

When you encounter difficulties, it’s easy to let your normal health routine slide. But it’s important to keep up with regular exercise and eat a nutritious diet.

If your body is working at its best, your mind will be clearer to find solutions to problems, and you will have the energy you need to keep trying.

8) Keep a sense of humor

One of the most underrated yet powerful ways to stay happy in hard times is to keep a sense of humor.

Lots of problems are nothing to laugh at. But finding humor in life situations has impressive benefits for your health and happiness.

Learning to laugh at yourself in hard times can help boost your immune system, reduce stress, and contribute to a more optimistic outlook.

9) Celebrate small victories

Maybe you have big problems. You’re struggling to find a home, you’re stuck in a dead-end job, you’ve had an important relationship fall apart. 

These are not problems that get solved in a single day, and so it can seem like you’re dealing with them forever.

On the other hand, there are lots of small victories in a day, and even though they won’t solve your problems, they can make you feel happier.

Celebrate everyday accomplishments. Getting your laundry done, doing the grocery shopping, taking the dog for a walk – nobody wins a medal for things like this, but a lot of the time, they are what life is made of.

Celebrating the fact that you are holding things together even in tough times will help you shift to a happier mindset.

10) Practice forgiveness

Often, our problems are created by other people. And when someone does us wrong, it’s easy to get bogged down in anger and hatred toward them.

Unfortunately, this is one of the least productive things you can do.

It can be extremely hard to forgive people who do bad things. Often, it can feel like we are somehow letting them off the hook for terrible behavior.

But as psychologist Rubin Khoddam writes, forgiveness does not mean saying that what happened was okay. Instead, it means accepting what happened as it is and letting go of its power to continue to shape the present.

Forgiving people has been shown to decrease depression, anger, and anxiety. Instead of thinking of it as something you give to other people, it’s better to think of forgiveness as a gift you give yourself to keep happy even in hard times.

11) Look for personal growth

Every challenge is an opportunity for growth.

The difficulties we encounter along life’s path are a big part of what teaches us and makes us who we are. No matter how devastating a hardship can be, there’s always something to learn.

Focus on what your setbacks can teach you rather than what they have taken from you. That way, you’ll set yourself up to become a stronger person tomorrow.

Staying happy in hard times

As much as anything else, happiness is a practice that we all need to work on regularly. And if you can’t make yourself happy in hard times, you haven’t really learned how to be happy at all.

Practice these habits when times are tough, and you’ll find yourself becoming happier and more resilient. Because ultimately, it’s the habits you cultivate that determine what your life will be like.