Something isn’t right but I don’t know what and I’m afraid to go to a doctor.

Long story short, I don’t expect anyone to be able to diagnose anything over Reddit. I’m just seeking some guidance as to whether my issues warrant going to the emergency room or something or if it’s all in my head.

I grew up with the mentality that you only go to the doctor when you know something is wrong. That going when it could be nothing is wasting their time and is rude. BTW I know that’s a messed up POV, I’m working through it with my therapist but wanted to explain my hesitation.

Some details about me:

• 37M - 6’0” and about 225. Slightly overweight but not obese

• I have mental health issues - ADHD, Depression (possibly bipolar 2 - mew doc is unsure of previous diagnosis so trying to reaffirm)

• daily i take 70mg Vyvanse (ADHD), 80mg Prozac, 300mg Wellbutrin, 40mg Nexium (GERD), 6.25mg Ambien for insomnia, 2.25 ml of testosterone (weekly injection - since I cannot produce T naturally any longer) and recently like yesterday started taking a vitamin D supplement and Magnesium supplement. My situation predates either of these new adds.

• 2 weeks ago a dedicated to get myself back in the gym. I’ve been lifting 3-4x per week for about 30-40 mins each time.

What’s going on? It’s really hard to describe so bear with me.

• it feels like my entire body is swollen and is going to explode. For example, it feels like my brain is too big for my skull or my ear drums are too big for my ear canals.

• This causes some dull aches but no sharp pain. It sort of feels like a headache but also doesn’t. It’s just a dull pressure.

• I’m getting these weird pulsations throughout my body during the day.

• My head and feet can’t be still. Not shaking but like moving around constantly. In circles, back and forth, just fidgety.

• my vision occasionally gets a little blurry and it makes it hard to read. This can last a few seconds to a few minutes

• I get occasional dizzy spells throughout the day. In general I find it hard to do anything other than lay horizontal to keep from passing out

• Recently my mental health has changed drastically. I’ve hit my all time low, had thoughts of unaliving myself (but I’d never actually do it and my wife and doctors are working with me on this), I don’t want to do anything other than lay on the couch or in bed. Because of this I had my worst week at work ever. I was flaky and unreliable all week which I hate because I have always done good work, delivering on time or early, and always been a go to at the office.

Additional details:

• Monday I went to an urgent care thinking my ear pain was an ear infection. Doctor said I had no signs of any infection and I was probably the constant weather changes we’ve been experiencing

• at said appointment my blood pressure was normal and no fever

• Since I have been taking my BP at home. Not sure how accurate it is but it says my BP is normal too

• Because I’m on supplemental testosterone my hormone levels are checked regularly. So far again, everything comes back normal.

I’m genuinely terrified that it could be some serious like a brain tumor or brain bleed or something. Like I can’t tie any of my mental health issues back to any trigger. It’s just like one day I woke up and was a totally different person.

Over the years my doctor and I have tried several different mental health meds but nothing really works. I see her this week and plan to ask to try a different antidepressant.

Family history (if it matters):

• Mom: survived breast cancer and thyroid cancer

• Father: passed from COVID. No major medical issues other than hypertension and sarcoidosis

• Paternal Grandmother: passed from breast cancer in the 90’s

• Maternal Grandfather: passed of liver cancer in early 2000’s

Sorry for all the rambling. I was trying to be a thorough as possible and anticipate any questions up front.

Is this likely just mental health issues causing physical symptoms?

Could it be something worse?

Is it worth going to the ER? This has gotten worse and worse of the last couple of weeks and I don’t know if/when I could even get in to see my GP.