Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey’s Relationship Timeline

Robert Downey Jr. and his wife, Susan Downey, are the epitome of Hollywood royalty. From playing Iron Man in the Marvel universe to bringing Sherlock Holmes to a new generation and his Oscar-nominated turn in Oppenheimer, Robert Downey Jr. has firmly established himself as one of the industry’s finest actors. As for Susan Downey, she has produced dozens of films of her own. 

After meeting Susan Downey (née Levin) on the set of Gothika, Robert quickly fell head over heels. Although he was still finalizing his divorce from his first wife, Deborah Falconer, at the time, he proposed just three months later. The pair have since combined their artistic talents to create their own production company, Team Downey. "Susan holds one pillar, and I hold the other, and this creative arc of tension just flows between us,” Robert once said to The Hollywood Reporter of their creative collaborations.

But despite all of their Hollywood success, it isn’t the basis of their relationship. “If there was no Hollywood, no next movie, no deal at Warner Brothers, no place in Malibu or Venice, I would still be really happy," Susan told Harper’s Bazaar in 2009. The pair have two children, Exton and Avri.

Here’s a look back at Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey’s relationship timeline. 

2003: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey meet while filming Gothika.

Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey first crossed paths in 2003 on the set of Gothika. Robert was starring as Dr. Pete Graham while Susan was producing.

When asked by Harper’s Bazaar if she was drawn to him romantically, she replied, “Not even a little bit.” She added, "The main thing I remember about meeting him was thinking how strange he was." One of the first things she noticed was Robert’s bizarre eating habits.

"We were up in Montreal prepping for Gothika, and we had lunch with the director and Halle Berry," Susan said to The Hollywood Reporter of their meeting. "Everybody else ordered Japanese, but Robert told us how oatmeal was the 'superfood.' He brought his own packets of oatmeal to have at lunch. And he had this box of various herbs and stuff. And then he started doing these yoga moves. I mean, he was interesting but weird."

However, Susan soon began to see him differently – “I remember looking up at him and suddenly thinking, ‘He's really cute,’" she recalled to Harper’s Bazaar – and the pair began dating.

October 9, 2003: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey make their red carpet debut.

Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey made their first public appearance together in October 2003 on the red carpet of Robert’s film The Singing Detective.

November 6, 2003: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey become engaged.

The couple took things to the next level just a few months after their first date.

"It was her birthday, and I wanted to get her before she turned 30, so I waited right before midnight, and I got her a bunch of stuff, and then there was a ring," Robert said to Oprah Winfrey in 2004. "And she opened that, and I said … What did I say?"

Susan chimed in, quoting Robert: "'I was wondering if, maybe, you'd wanna, like, be my wife one day.'"

She didn’t hesitate to say yes. "More than anything, I never doubted it,” she said to Harper’s Bazaar. “There was something in my gut that knew really quickly. I knew three months in that this was it."

Although Susan felt certain that Robert was "the one," she insisted on a two-year engagement, in part, to test their relationship. “Addiction was so foreign to me,” she explained to The Hollywood Reporter of her decision. “I was incredibly ignorant of the hold it had on people.”

2004: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey work together again on Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

In 2004, Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey collaborated for the second time on Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a romantic comedy about a petty thief in Los Angeles. 

As Robert later said in an interview, he had discovered the project through Susan. “She’s reading this script and laughing, and that’s unusual, so I ask her what’s so funny, and she’s, like, ‘Oh, nothing, just this Johnny Knoxville project,’” he recalled. “She keeps reading and laughing, and she tells me, ‘The just had his severed finger that he had on ice stolen by a dog.’ ‘What was his finger doing in an ice bowl?’ ‘His girlfriend cut it off.’ ‘Why didn’t he go to hospital?’ ‘He did but it got pulled off again by these two bad guys called Mr Frying Pan and Mr Fire.’ When I heard that, I just had to be in this movie.”

August 27, 2005: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey get married.

The couple tied the knot in a Jewish ceremony on Long Island. Robert wore a purple shirt, tie, and scarf, while Susan carried a bouquet of white and purple flowers. Guests included Sting, Keanu Reeves, and Billy Joel.

January 17, 2010: Robert Downey Jr. thanks Susan Downey in his Golden Globes speech.

In 2010, Robert Downey Jr. took home the Golden Globe for Actor in a Musical or Comedy Film for his role in Sherlock Holmes. 

"I would like to thank Susan Downey for telling me that Matt Damon was going to win, so don't bother to prepare a speech," he said as he accepted the award, adding, "I really don't want to thank my wife, because I could be bussing tables at the Daily Grill right now, if not for her."

Guy Ritchie, who had directed the film, had previously revealed that Susan had helped Robert land the role: “If Susan hadn’t been in the room, Robert probably wouldn’t have become Sherlock Holmes,” he said to The Hollywood Reporter. “She facilitated it, definitely.”

June 2010: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey set up their production company, Team Downey.

Later that year, Robert and Susan decided to launch their own joint production company, Team Downey. Not only was the venture inspired by their shared creative sensibilities, it was also a practical move.

“Our feeling was, if we wanted to spend time together, have a life together, then we should just go ahead and make movies together,” said Susan to The Hollywood Reporter.

February 7, 2012: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey have their first child, Exton Elias.

In February 2012, the pair welcomed their first child, Exton Elias.

“My wife has raised him not to be a ham,” Robert later told People. “He’s not, like, putting together his audition tapes or anything. He’s just a natural extrovert when he wants to be. There’s been a couple times when … he’s wanted to participate in something I was doing. And when I ran this one by him, he said, ‘Yeah, sure.’ And then he came in and absolutely wiped the floor with me.”

October 10, 2014: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey release The Judge.

The couple’s first collaboration as Team Downey is The Judge, a legal drama that saw Robert playing a real-life judge.

“There it was a great opportunity for him to play a real person,” said Susan to La Presse, explaining why she encouraged him to take the role. “As a fan, even more than as a wife or producer, I wanted to see him go through this adventure.”

November 4, 2014: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey have their second child.

Robert and Susan’s second child, Avri, was born in 2014. Robert shared the first picture of his daughter five months later during an appearance on David Letterman. “You gotta love a yellow bonnet,” he said fondly.

August 27, 2015: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary.

In 2015, Robert took to Instagram to share a sweet message about Susan in honor of their 10th anniversary.

“A perfect 10. Happy Anniversary, Mrs. Downey,” he wrote in the caption.

January 17, 2020: Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey's Dolittle is released.

In 2020, Susan and Robert collaborated on another project, Dolittle, an adaptation of the Roald Dahl book about a vet who can speak to animals. 

Speaking to NPR about the project, Susan explained that she and Robert had well and truly found their rhythm as both creative and romantic partners. “The great thing for us is that our personal and professional life are very obviously interwoven,” she said. “And one of the things that Robert always points out is that because you're making a movie and there's, you know, time and money on the line and all that kind of stuff, you're forced into conflict resolution. You are forced to keep moving forward.”

June 4, 2021: Susan Downey and Robert Downey Jr. release Sweet Tooth.

Susan and Robert collaborated once again, this time on a Netflix series based on a post-apocalyptic comic book series.

“Robert and I looked for shows that we could watch with our kids. We have a 6-year-old and a 9-year-old, and we love to cuddle up on the couch, and find a series that we can binge together,” said Susan to Digital Spy of the appeal of the project. “We thought that with some adjustments while keeping all of the strong themes, we could create something that would be great for a whole family and be a really beautiful place to visit each episode."

November 6, 2021: Robert Downey Jr. shares an adorable birthday message for Susan Downey.

To celebrate Susan’s birthday, Robert posted a sweet image on Instagram.

“Adjusting the halo on my heaven sent partner Mrs D.. you are my everything, and November 6th, Always a day of gratitude, for your blessed birth,” he wrote. “P.S. I will never watch ahead on a co-viewed streaming show..That is my eternal vow…”

December 3, 2023: Susan Downey praises Robert Downey Jr. in Vanity Fair.

In 2023, Susan spoke to Vanity Fair about her husband’s work in Oppenheimer. “He loves when something has this grand execution,” she said. “What he really likes is that tight-knit group of people who are making the decisions and creating the piece.”

She also gushed about Robert’s relationships with his co-stars. “Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth were talking to Robert,” she went on. “I was like, ‘Oh right, he is the guy who is…I don’t want to say a mentor, but I just see him as the dude who knows a lot.’ He’s been through a lot of scenarios, both in life and in work, and has survived a lot.” 

She added, “All of the stuff that made him wonderful and weird when I met him, and made him someone unlike anyone I’ve ever known is still who he is today.”

February 24, 2024: Robert Downey Jr. thanks Susan Downey in his SAG Award acceptance speech.

In 2024, Robert took home the SAG Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Oppenheimer. In his speech, he gave Susan a touching shout-out. “For 22 years,” he said, “she has flawlessly portrayed a sane and rational individual who is happily married to an actor.”