212 Funny Jokes for Kids Guaranteed to Crack Them Up
Updated: Jun. 04, 2024
From knock-knock jokes to silly puns and holiday humor, these jokes for kids will have the whole family rolling on the floor
Funny jokes for kids of all ages
If you know any children, you know that the best jokes for kids are a delicate balance of silly and smart. Get it right, and you’re practically guaranteed giggles; go wrong, and it’s eye rolls for you. But it’s not just grown-ups who love telling kid jokes. Children get a kick out of cracking up one another with the silliest of zingers.
After spending summers with my nieces, I can tell you they are the absolute queens of corny jokes. Whether it’s with an endless string of “Why did the chicken cross the road?” punchlines or progressively more bizarre knock-knock jokes, they never fail to make the whole family cackle with their ridiculous comedy routines. Somehow, they always have the perfect level of cheesiness, and that’s exactly what makes kids’ jokes so great! They turn every car ride, sibling squabble or dinner-table conversation into a joyful opportunity for laughter. And laughing together with kids’ jokes is one of the most delightful ways to bond as a family—just ask my nieces, who increasingly list me as their favorite adult because I’ll listen to them for hours.
So get ready to make like a dad (or an aunt!) and start spreading the corniest, funniest jokes around. From holiday jokes to school jokes and every clean joke in between, we’ve rounded up kids’ jokes that will have the whole family in stitches—or at least appreciating a valiant attempt at comedy gold.
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Funny jokes for kids
- How do new pilots learn to fly?
They just wing it.
- Why did the teacher draw on the window?
Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear.
- What do you call a droid that likes taking the scenic route?
R2-Detour.
- When will they let Wilbur on a flight to New York?
When pigs fly.
- Why did the teddy bear skip out on dessert when she was on a date?
She was stuffed.
- What do they serve for breakfast on flights?
Plane bagels.
- What’s the best seat on a flight to a tropical vacation?
An isle.
- What do you call a noodle who puts on a mustache and pretends to be his dad?
An impasta.
- What’s an alligator in a vest called?
An investigator.
- How do you throw a birthday party on Mars?
You planet.
- Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to see the doctor?
He felt crummy.
- What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
Nacho cheese!
- What’s one way we know the ocean is friendly?
It waves.
- Why is Cinderella so bad at playing football?
She runs away from the ball.
- What’s a really sad strawberry called?
A blueberry.
- What’s one animal you’ll always find at a baseball game?
A bat.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite class to take in school?
Arrrt.
- What candy do bumblebees love the most?
Bumble gum.
- Why does Peter Pan fly around so much?
He Neverlands.
- What starts with gas and has three letters?
A car.
Think these jokes are wild? Then you’re sure to roar with laughter over our animal jokes.
Dad jokes for kids
- What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick!
- What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired.
- What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved.
- Why wasn’t the stadium hot after the game?
Because there were so many fans.
- Why did the kid throw his clock out the window?
To see time fly.
- What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
- Why was the baby strawberry crying?
His mom was in a jam!
- Why did the kid throw the butter out the window?
To see a butterfly.
- If a clock strikes 13, what time is it?
Time to get a new clock.
- When a lemon is sick, what do you do?
Give it lemon aid.
- What do you call a polar bear in Mexico?
Lost.
- How do billboards talk to one another?
With sign language.
- What’s the strongest type of sea creature?
Mussels.
- What’s a kitty cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple.
- What kind of photos will you find on a turtle’s phone?
Shell-fies.
- What’s a computer’s favorite thing to snack on?
Computer chips.
- What candy is always running late to things?
Choco-late.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree.
- When did the dad go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.
Looking for more jokes for kids? These cat jokes are hiss-terical, and we’re not kitten!
Knock-knock jokes for kids
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry. It’s just a knock-knock joke!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in. It’s cold out here!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anybody want to let me in?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Thermos.
Thermos who?
Thermos be a better knock-knock joke than this!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cheese.
Cheese who?
Cheese a cute little dog!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Mikey.
Mikey who?
Mikey doesn’t fit through the keyhole!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Leaf.
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes a pretty bad joke.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Opportunity.
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Bear.
Bear who?
Bear with me. I’m still learning how to tell a funny joke!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police let me in—I have to pee!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Beets.
Beets who?
Beets me. I forgot the joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Oh, just a hundred more funny knock-knock jokes that’ll knock your socks off.
Silly jokes for kids
- Why are all of Superman’s costumes tight?
They’re all size S.
- Who helps little pumpkins cross the road on the way to school?
The crossing gourd.
- Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
To make up for his miserable summer.
- What does a ghost call his true love?
His ghoulfriend.
- Why do all witches wear black?
So you can’t tell which witch is which.
- How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
- Where should you go if you want to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
- Why was the broom late for homeroom?
He overswept.
- What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
- What do lawyers wear when they go to court?
Lawsuits.
- What’s a bee’s go-to haircut?
A buzz cut.
- What did the little boat say to the yacht?
“Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”
- Why do artichokes fall in love so easily?
They have big hearts.
- What should you add to broth to turn it into golden soup?
Fourteen carrots.
- What did Venus say while flirting with Saturn?
“Give me a ring sometime.”
- Why do golfers always bring an extra pair of pants with them?
In case they get a hole-in-one.
The wisecracks above will have the kids in your life calling you a proper comedian. Keep the funny lines coming by telling some of these Laffy Taffy jokes too.
Jokes for 5-year-olds
- What do you call a witch who lives on a beach?
A sand-witch.
- What is a pizza’s favorite type of joke?
A cheesy one!
- What do you get when you cross a skunk with a rose?
A stunk.
- What’s the most expensive fish?
A goldfish.
- What kind of fruit do twins love the most?
Pears.
- Where do hamburgers go if they want to go dancing?
A meatball.
- Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
- What’s a bear with no teeth called?
A gummy bear.
- Why don’t lamps ever sink when they’re in water?
They are too light.
- Why did Mickey Mouse decide to become an astronaut?
He wanted to visit Pluto.
- What kind of vehicle has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
- What type of music do balloons hate listening to?
Pop.
- Why aren’t unicorns great dance partners?
They have two left feet.
- What kind of jobs do funny chickens have?
They are comedi-hens!
- What’s a sleeping dinosaur called?
A dino snore.
Dads get all the credit for telling silly jokes, but did you know mom jokes are sidesplittingly funny too?
Animal jokes for kids
- What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
- What do cows do for fun?
They go to the moo-vies.
- What is the most famous type of animal in the sea?
A starfish.
- When a bird needs to invest her money, what does she do with it?
Puts it in the stork market.
- What did the Dalmatian say after she had a huge meal?
“That hit the spot.”
- Where do Arctic foxes store their money?
In snow banks.
- Why do so many fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
- What do bees brush their hair with?
Honeycombs.
- What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer.
- Why did the bird get in trouble in class?
He was tweeting on a test.
- What’s the smartest type of insect?
A spelling bee.
- How did the koala get the job?
He had the best koalifications.
- What do cats always wear when they go to bed?
Paw-jamas.
- What do you call a pile of cats outside?
A meow-tain.
- What do you call a sheep that has no legs?
A cloud.
- What does a spider wear to her wedding?
A webbing dress.
- What do you call a pair of monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
- What did the firefly say to her BFF?
“You glow, girl!”
- Why couldn’t the pony sing at her choir concert?
She was a little horse.
- Why did the puppy get great grades in class?
He was the teacher’s pet.
Looking for more doggone hilarious dog jokes for kids? Our collection is sure to make you bark out a laugh.
Math jokes for kids
- What’s a math teacher’s favorite plant?
A geometree.
- What kind of snake is good at math?
An adder.
- What did the calculator say to her best friend?
“You can always count on me.”
- What did the math book say to the guidance counselor?
“I have so many problems.”
- What’s a pencil’s favorite place to visit?
Pencil-vania.
- What class do birds always ace?
Owl-gebra.
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o’-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.
- Why did the student do multiplication on the floor?
The teacher told them not to use tables.
- Why couldn’t the obtuse angle get a job?
It was too bent out of shape.
- Why did the student get upset when their teacher called them average?
It was mean!
- Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because it wasn’t greater than or less than anyone else.
- What do you call best buds who love math?
Alge-bros.
- Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
- What’s a math teacher’s favorite season?
Sum-mer.
- Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
- What did the triangle say when he got mad at the circle?
“You’re pointless!”
- Why did two fours skip lunch?
Because they eight.
- Why is an obtuse triangle always so frustrated?
Because it’s never right.
- How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the s.
- Why was trigonometry class so long?
The teacher kept going off on a tangent.
- Why can’t you put two half dollars in your pocket?
Two halves make a hole, so your money will fall out.
Hungry for more jokes? Sate your appetite with the best food jokes for kids.
Halloween jokes for kids
- Are any Halloween monsters good at math?
No—unless you Count Dracula.
- How do vampires start their letters?
“Tomb it may concern …”
- Why didn’t the zombie go to school?
He felt rotten.
- Which fruit is a vampire’s favorite?
A neck-tarine.
- Why is a cemetery a great place to write a story?
Because there are so many plots there!
- What do witches ask for at hotels?
Broom service.
- What did the mommy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?
“Spook when you’re spooken to.”
- What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry?
Spooktacles.
- How did the skeleton know it was going to rain on Halloween?
He could feel it in his bones.
- What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving!
- What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A trombone.
- What does a panda ghost eat?
Bamboo!
- When do morticians fill up on caffeine?
During their coffin break.
- What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Sham-boo!
- What do birds say on Halloween to get candy?
“Twick-or-tweet.”
- Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
- Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.
- What do you do to fix a smashed jack-o’-lantern?
You use a pumpkin patch.
Want some more spooky laughs? Boo! We’ve got dozens of Halloween jokes just waiting for you.
Christmas jokes for kids
- What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus before the storm?
“Looks like it’s going to rain, dear!”
- What are Santa’s favorite chips?
Crisp Pringles.
- Where does Santa get gifts for kids on the naughty list?
Kohl’s.
- Why did Santa throw his book across the room?
Because it had too many plot ho-ho-holes.
- Why don’t cats like Christmas at the beach?
They get sandy claws.
- What was one of the first things the elf learned in class?
The elf-abet.
- What genre of music does an elf like the best?
Wrap.
- What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
- Why did Santa go to the doctor?
He was in bad elf.
- What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow.
- Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much?
Because every buck is dear to him.
- What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Ribbon Hood.
- What did one snowman say to the other?
“Do you smell carrots?”
- What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet!
- How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?
Nothing. It was on the house.
- What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
- Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho!
- What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney while the fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle.
- Where does Santa stay when he’s traveling?
At a ho-ho-hotel.
- Why did Santa see a therapist?
To get help with his low elf-esteem.
- What’s every parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
“Silent Night.”
You’re on a roll! Continue spreading the ho-ho-holiday cheer with even more Christmas jokes for kids!
Puns for kids
- The skeleton decided to bone up on the facts for the big exam.
- I tried to catch some fog earlier, but I mist.
- I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- A courtroom artist was arrested today. The details are still sketchy.
- I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
- I was addicted to the hokeypokey, but I turned myself around.
- Fish are so smart because they live in schools.
- Cows that play the saxophone are great moo-sicians.
- Eating an omelet in the morning is an eggs-ellent idea.
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- Never trust trees—they’re shady.
- That cornfield is a-maize-ing!
- If you have dogs over for pizza, you better order plenty of pupperoni.
- My dad just threw away all of the herbs and spices we don’t use anymore. Personally, I thought it was a huge waste of thyme!
- I had a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
- I heard a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.
- I had a joke about paper, but it was tearable!
Need some more punny jokes to give your kids a case of the belly laughs? Check out these funny puns for kids!
Goofy jokes for kids
- What is a tree’s least favorite month of the year?
Sep-timber!
- Which superhero is a pro at hitting home runs?
Batman.
- Why did Darth Vader turn off all the lights in the room?
He likes it on the dark side.
- What’s a pirate’s favorite country to travel to?
Arrrgentina.
- What’s something that falls but will never hit the ground?
The temperature.
- Why did the boy put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold, hard cash.
- What’s an astronaut’s favorite meal of the day?
Launch.
- What does a volcano say to its crush?
“I lava you!”
- Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
She’ll let it go.
- Where does Spider-Man do his best research?
The World Wide Web.
- Which planet is the best singer?
Neptune.
- What type of keys are known for being extra sweet?
Cookies!
- What did the finger confess to the thumb?
“I’m in glove with you!”
- What does a storm cloud make sure to wear under her raincoat?
Thunderwear.
- What has thousands of ears but can’t hear at all?
A cornfield.
- How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
- Why didn’t the dinosaur ride the roller coaster?
She was a nervous rex.
Want to show your kids love on top of the laughter? Break out these sweet and silly Valentine’s Day jokes for kids.
Hilarious jokes for kids
- How did the hamburger say “bye” to his side dish?
“Later, tots!”
- What do you call a duck who loves making jokes?
A wisequacker!
- What did the pickle say to a pal who wouldn’t stop complaining?
“Dill with it.”
- What’s fast, loud and tastes good with salsa?
A rocket chip.
- Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?
The Dead Sea.
- What’s a geologist’s favorite place to bring a date?
A rock concert.
- Why did the professor wear his sunglasses to class?
Because his students were so bright.
- What do Italian ghosts have for dinner?
Spookhetti!
- What did the whale say when he bumped into the shark?
“Sorry! I didn’t do it on porpoise.”
- What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?
A bloodhound!
Once you’ve finished making ’em laugh with these funny kid jokes, break out our massive collection of dad jokes and let the good times keep rolling.
Why trust us
Reader’s Digest has been telling jokes for more than 100 years, curated and reviewed over the last 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons, a humor editor formerly of National Lampoon and the author of Now That’s Funny. We’ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips, pranks, puns, cartoons, one-liners, knock-knock jokes, riddles, memes, tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine columns such as “Life in These United States,” “All in a Day’s Work,” “Laughter, the Best Medicine” and “Humor in Uniform,” as well as online collections such as short jokes, dad jokes and bad jokes so bad, they’re great. You can find a century of humor in our 2022 compendium, Reader’s Digest: Laughter, the Best Medicine. For this story on the best jokes for kids, Laura Beck tapped her 15-plus years of experience as a professional humor writer for TV shows and magazines. Read more about our team, our contributors and our editorial policies.
Originally Published: May 06, 2021
